Larabella Dynamite
@glaiveguisarme.com
Larabella Paige Turner, the original Glaive-Guisarmier. Library worker, hot mom, LGBTQTπ, semi-retired RPG dev, 'tism rizz out the wazoo. She/her.
pfp by @lubchansky.bsky.social
pfp by @lubchansky.bsky.social
I think of all trans women as my sisters, except for the ones who I want to have sex with, because that would be weird.
February 11, 2026 at 1:09 AM
I think of all trans women as my sisters, except for the ones who I want to have sex with, because that would be weird.
Without naming your job, tell me something you say over and over at work.
(Under my breath) “Oh cool we’ve invented a bold new alphabet where we can put the letters in whatever fucking order we want, huh?”
Seriously I say that to myself at least once a day.
(Under my breath) “Oh cool we’ve invented a bold new alphabet where we can put the letters in whatever fucking order we want, huh?”
Seriously I say that to myself at least once a day.
Without naming your job, tell me something you say over and over at work.
"If we want to be in compliance with the IRB, then yes we do need to submit a modification for this."
"If we want to be in compliance with the IRB, then yes we do need to submit a modification for this."
Without naming your job, tell me something you say over and over at work.
“What sort of business continuity plan do you have in place? When was it last updated and have you ever tested it?”
“What sort of business continuity plan do you have in place? When was it last updated and have you ever tested it?”
February 8, 2026 at 5:58 AM
Without naming your job, tell me something you say over and over at work.
(Under my breath) “Oh cool we’ve invented a bold new alphabet where we can put the letters in whatever fucking order we want, huh?”
Seriously I say that to myself at least once a day.
(Under my breath) “Oh cool we’ve invented a bold new alphabet where we can put the letters in whatever fucking order we want, huh?”
Seriously I say that to myself at least once a day.
[loudly, trying to convince the other people at the coffee shop that I actually understand the book I’m reading]
“Wow, they really ARE tommyknocking!”
“Wow, they really ARE tommyknocking!”
February 5, 2026 at 5:03 AM
[loudly, trying to convince the other people at the coffee shop that I actually understand the book I’m reading]
“Wow, they really ARE tommyknocking!”
“Wow, they really ARE tommyknocking!”
… Animal Crossing, you can’t just copy me like this what the fuck.
February 2, 2026 at 1:51 AM
… Animal Crossing, you can’t just copy me like this what the fuck.
Attn: @pst1953.bsky.social
BREAKING: Chicagoans can now vote to name one of Chicago’s snowplows “Abolish ICE,” linking the pun to efforts to oppose President Donald Trump’s mass deportation campaign. @wttw.bsky.social
Voting Is Now Open in Chicago’s Annual Snowplow Naming Contest. ‘Abolish ICE’ Among 25 Finalists
“Abolish ICE” is one of 25 finalists that Chicagoans can vote on between Sunday and Feb. 14, with the top six vote-getters winning the honor of renaming one snowplow in each of Chicago’s six snow dist...
news.wttw.com
February 1, 2026 at 7:24 PM
Attn: @pst1953.bsky.social
My favorite part was when she said “it’s melaniain’ time” and melaniaed all over those guys.
January 31, 2026 at 5:12 AM
My favorite part was when she said “it’s melaniain’ time” and melaniaed all over those guys.
Genuinely surprised by the people who think that a general strike is happening today.
Like. An ad-hoc plan with no organization, follow-through, or plans for those who can’t afford to leave work? A rounding error in financial loss which will be corrected tomorrow?
Strikes are good. This ain’t one.
Like. An ad-hoc plan with no organization, follow-through, or plans for those who can’t afford to leave work? A rounding error in financial loss which will be corrected tomorrow?
Strikes are good. This ain’t one.
January 30, 2026 at 8:13 PM
Genuinely surprised by the people who think that a general strike is happening today.
Like. An ad-hoc plan with no organization, follow-through, or plans for those who can’t afford to leave work? A rounding error in financial loss which will be corrected tomorrow?
Strikes are good. This ain’t one.
Like. An ad-hoc plan with no organization, follow-through, or plans for those who can’t afford to leave work? A rounding error in financial loss which will be corrected tomorrow?
Strikes are good. This ain’t one.
Whenever I'm leaving the grocery store and the guy at the door says "can I see your receipt?" I say "no thank you!" cheerfully and walk right on out the door.
Turns out, they can't stop me.
Turns out, they can't stop me.
January 23, 2026 at 11:28 PM
Whenever I'm leaving the grocery store and the guy at the door says "can I see your receipt?" I say "no thank you!" cheerfully and walk right on out the door.
Turns out, they can't stop me.
Turns out, they can't stop me.
Hey uh my friend keeps trying to call you, his name is Scamdrew J. Likely, he says you’ve been rejecting his calls? What’s that about?
January 22, 2026 at 7:51 PM
Hey uh my friend keeps trying to call you, his name is Scamdrew J. Likely, he says you’ve been rejecting his calls? What’s that about?
I wish China Miéville's The City and the City was more widely-read, because I just described myself to my therapist as spending late 2019 as a boy in Besžel but a girl in Ul Qoma, and honestly I felt clever.
January 20, 2026 at 9:19 PM
I wish China Miéville's The City and the City was more widely-read, because I just described myself to my therapist as spending late 2019 as a boy in Besžel but a girl in Ul Qoma, and honestly I felt clever.
So fucking glad I don't work in TTRPGs anymore.
Definitely one of the top ten decisions I ever made.
Definitely one of the top ten decisions I ever made.
January 20, 2026 at 1:10 AM
So fucking glad I don't work in TTRPGs anymore.
Definitely one of the top ten decisions I ever made.
Definitely one of the top ten decisions I ever made.
It's that time again, babes: Girl Scout Cookie Season!
You want them, we will have them in like a month, so now is the time to pre-order your favorites. Get 'em delivered, get 'em shipped, just get 'em!
You want them, we will have them in like a month, so now is the time to pre-order your favorites. Get 'em delivered, get 'em shipped, just get 'em!
Order your Faves on my Digital Cookie Site Today
That's right! You can order your favorite Girl Scout Cookies from me online, all while helping my troop and I do great things in our community and beyond! Check it out.
digitalcookie.girlscouts.org
January 19, 2026 at 11:55 PM
It's that time again, babes: Girl Scout Cookie Season!
You want them, we will have them in like a month, so now is the time to pre-order your favorites. Get 'em delivered, get 'em shipped, just get 'em!
You want them, we will have them in like a month, so now is the time to pre-order your favorites. Get 'em delivered, get 'em shipped, just get 'em!
Reposted by Larabella Dynamite
‼️⚠️LOW TICKET ALERT⚠️‼️
LESS THAN 20 TICKETS LEFT FOR THE BOSTON BAD TIME RECORDS SHOW!
AND MANY OTHER CITIES OVER HALF SOLD OUT
This is a tour that you will never forgive yourself if you missed it cause you procrastinated on picking up a ticket
Badtimetour.com you’ve been warned!! 👀✨
📸: Rae Mystic
LESS THAN 20 TICKETS LEFT FOR THE BOSTON BAD TIME RECORDS SHOW!
AND MANY OTHER CITIES OVER HALF SOLD OUT
This is a tour that you will never forgive yourself if you missed it cause you procrastinated on picking up a ticket
Badtimetour.com you’ve been warned!! 👀✨
📸: Rae Mystic
January 15, 2026 at 11:49 PM
‼️⚠️LOW TICKET ALERT⚠️‼️
LESS THAN 20 TICKETS LEFT FOR THE BOSTON BAD TIME RECORDS SHOW!
AND MANY OTHER CITIES OVER HALF SOLD OUT
This is a tour that you will never forgive yourself if you missed it cause you procrastinated on picking up a ticket
Badtimetour.com you’ve been warned!! 👀✨
📸: Rae Mystic
LESS THAN 20 TICKETS LEFT FOR THE BOSTON BAD TIME RECORDS SHOW!
AND MANY OTHER CITIES OVER HALF SOLD OUT
This is a tour that you will never forgive yourself if you missed it cause you procrastinated on picking up a ticket
Badtimetour.com you’ve been warned!! 👀✨
📸: Rae Mystic
Reading a book about a wizard academics, in a world where magic has been studied for centuries and elves and dwarves and whatnot exist, and a character just referenced Zootopia.
It’s not an isekai or anything; this magic world just ALSO has the movie Zootopia in it. It’s hilarious.
It’s not an isekai or anything; this magic world just ALSO has the movie Zootopia in it. It’s hilarious.
January 15, 2026 at 1:12 AM
Reading a book about a wizard academics, in a world where magic has been studied for centuries and elves and dwarves and whatnot exist, and a character just referenced Zootopia.
It’s not an isekai or anything; this magic world just ALSO has the movie Zootopia in it. It’s hilarious.
It’s not an isekai or anything; this magic world just ALSO has the movie Zootopia in it. It’s hilarious.
In place of a Dark Lord, you would have a queen! Not dark, but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! Treacherous as the sea! Stronger than the foundations of the earth! All shall love me, and despair!
January 13, 2026 at 10:58 PM
In place of a Dark Lord, you would have a queen! Not dark, but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! Treacherous as the sea! Stronger than the foundations of the earth! All shall love me, and despair!
Reposted by Larabella Dynamite
Took @glaiveguisarme.com to a boudoir dancing lesson today
Y’all had better watch out, that girl has moves (and booty)
Y’all had better watch out, that girl has moves (and booty)
January 12, 2026 at 12:24 AM
Took @glaiveguisarme.com to a boudoir dancing lesson today
Y’all had better watch out, that girl has moves (and booty)
Y’all had better watch out, that girl has moves (and booty)
Jean-Luc Picard, ordering holodeck pornography:
“Tgirl, gay. Hot.”
“Tgirl, gay. Hot.”
January 9, 2026 at 3:25 AM
Jean-Luc Picard, ordering holodeck pornography:
“Tgirl, gay. Hot.”
“Tgirl, gay. Hot.”
Shuffle your longest playlist. The first song to come up is your energy for this new year. Let’s go.
This feels, on the whole, like a positive portent.
This feels, on the whole, like a positive portent.
January 2, 2026 at 7:49 PM
Shuffle your longest playlist. The first song to come up is your energy for this new year. Let’s go.
This feels, on the whole, like a positive portent.
This feels, on the whole, like a positive portent.
AGAIN?!
Two commutes in a ROW?! Different dudes, too.
Ah well. Thanks for the Trans Affirming Regular Misogyny, I guess.
Two commutes in a ROW?! Different dudes, too.
Ah well. Thanks for the Trans Affirming Regular Misogyny, I guess.
Dear random man on the bus,
What part of my wearing headphones AND having my nose in a book, precisely, made you feel as though I was open to conversation?
Sincerely,
Any woman, I guess
What part of my wearing headphones AND having my nose in a book, precisely, made you feel as though I was open to conversation?
Sincerely,
Any woman, I guess
January 2, 2026 at 4:07 PM
AGAIN?!
Two commutes in a ROW?! Different dudes, too.
Ah well. Thanks for the Trans Affirming Regular Misogyny, I guess.
Two commutes in a ROW?! Different dudes, too.
Ah well. Thanks for the Trans Affirming Regular Misogyny, I guess.
First firework-caused car alarm of the year. Huzzah.
January 1, 2026 at 8:13 AM
First firework-caused car alarm of the year. Huzzah.
Holy SHIT Julia Roberts as Tinkerbell in Hook is pretty. Like. Oh my goodness.
Anyway we are watching movies until midnight, as is our tradition; my wife and I make a short list to pitch to our kid, who picks two. Hook came first and in a half hour we'll watch Into the Spider-Verse.
Farewell, '25!
Anyway we are watching movies until midnight, as is our tradition; my wife and I make a short list to pitch to our kid, who picks two. Hook came first and in a half hour we'll watch Into the Spider-Verse.
Farewell, '25!
January 1, 2026 at 5:05 AM
Holy SHIT Julia Roberts as Tinkerbell in Hook is pretty. Like. Oh my goodness.
Anyway we are watching movies until midnight, as is our tradition; my wife and I make a short list to pitch to our kid, who picks two. Hook came first and in a half hour we'll watch Into the Spider-Verse.
Farewell, '25!
Anyway we are watching movies until midnight, as is our tradition; my wife and I make a short list to pitch to our kid, who picks two. Hook came first and in a half hour we'll watch Into the Spider-Verse.
Farewell, '25!
Dear random man on the bus,
What part of my wearing headphones AND having my nose in a book, precisely, made you feel as though I was open to conversation?
Sincerely,
Any woman, I guess
What part of my wearing headphones AND having my nose in a book, precisely, made you feel as though I was open to conversation?
Sincerely,
Any woman, I guess
December 31, 2025 at 4:59 PM
Dear random man on the bus,
What part of my wearing headphones AND having my nose in a book, precisely, made you feel as though I was open to conversation?
Sincerely,
Any woman, I guess
What part of my wearing headphones AND having my nose in a book, precisely, made you feel as though I was open to conversation?
Sincerely,
Any woman, I guess
I read 70 books this year (which includes graphic novels, novellas, and a few re-reads from prior years, but NOT books that I read to my kid at night).
Dang. That's a lotta reading. As I expected, reviewing the big thread has been interesting. More than I expected have stuck with me.
Dang. That's a lotta reading. As I expected, reviewing the big thread has been interesting. More than I expected have stuck with me.
I have decided to make an ongoing thread of books I have read this year. I think it would be interesting to look back at the end of the year, and see what's stuck with me and what hasn't.
("Isn't this what GoodReads is for?" you ask, to which I laugh, first derisively, then awkwardly, concerned.)
("Isn't this what GoodReads is for?" you ask, to which I laugh, first derisively, then awkwardly, concerned.)
December 31, 2025 at 5:04 AM
I read 70 books this year (which includes graphic novels, novellas, and a few re-reads from prior years, but NOT books that I read to my kid at night).
Dang. That's a lotta reading. As I expected, reviewing the big thread has been interesting. More than I expected have stuck with me.
Dang. That's a lotta reading. As I expected, reviewing the big thread has been interesting. More than I expected have stuck with me.
At the THEATRE with a fresh cup of bloodwine (a delicious mulled wine).
Turns out Dickens is even better in the original tlhIngan Hol.
Turns out Dickens is even better in the original tlhIngan Hol.
December 28, 2025 at 4:41 AM
At the THEATRE with a fresh cup of bloodwine (a delicious mulled wine).
Turns out Dickens is even better in the original tlhIngan Hol.
Turns out Dickens is even better in the original tlhIngan Hol.
And Tiny Tim, who did NOT die, was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that.
December 27, 2025 at 9:30 PM
And Tiny Tim, who did NOT die, was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that.