get your war on
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getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on
@getyourwaron.bsky.social
6 followers 1 following 70 posts
posting one a day, unless I forget or am busy. | Not David Rees
http://www.mnftiu.cc/category/gywo/war1/
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getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 11 - #2
get your war on 11 - #2 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/05/22/war11-2/ 1: Just remember- sometimes it's a matter of If, and sometimes it's a matter of When. This time. it's a matter of When. 2: You see, that's a real shame, because I consider myself more of an If-man than a When-man. I definitely prefer the Matters of If. In fact, I'm under my desk right now, wondering IF any of it MATTERS! 3: I find myself drawn to the Matters of Why. Like, WHY DID BUSH KEEP GROOVING ON THAT GODDAMN CHILDREN'S BOOK AFTER HEA HEARD ABOUT A FUCKING PLANE HITTING THE WORLD TRADE CENTER? Woah... if I say that out loud, will I cause another terrorist alert?
November 28, 2025 at 7:54 PM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 11 - #1
get your war on 11 - #1 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/05/22/war11-1/ 1: Goddamn! I'm sick of these fake-ass terror alerts! 2: Me too! Don't tell me "there's definitely going to be an attack- within two years." I could figure that shit out for myself! 3: My boss asked me, "Do you think the White House is trying to distract people from asking questions about intelligence failures?" I said, "All I know is, if I'm not running for my goddamn life within two weeks, I'm gonna be plenty pissed!"
November 27, 2025 at 2:45 PM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 10 - #6
get your war on 10 - #6 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/05/02/war10-6/ 1: I just got a call that another one of my step-brother is joining the Marines. It's getting so that I start crying every time the fucking phone rings! Goddam! Is your family gonna personally overthrow Saddam Hussein? Heh! 2: 3: Well hell, what was I supposed to say? I can't relate to her shit! My parents fucking paid for me to take an SAT prep course! You think I was gonna join the marines???
November 26, 2025 at 1:11 AM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 10 - #5
get your war on 10 - #5 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/05/02/war10-5/ 1: OK, one last scenario: Say we (somehow) LOST the war on terror, and the Taliban fucking invaded New York and kicked you out of your apartment. Now you're living in a cement hovel on Staten Island. Would you suicide-bomb yourself to get your apartment back for your kids? 2: Dude, listen to me! I am not the suicide-bombing type! I like to hang out with my friends and relax and fuckin' listen to "smooth jazz." MAYBE I would throw some rocks from Staten Island, but I'm not about to go fuckin' explode myself! I don't want total strangers picking up my god-damn strewn-about body parts-- I don't even like having my picture taken! 3: What the fuck is wrong with me???
November 25, 2025 at 12:31 AM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 10 - #4
get your war on 10 - #4 hhttp://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/05/02/war10-4/ 1: Uhh, guys? Someone from the Office of Homeland Security just called saying they "overheard" you discussing "suicide-bombing" yourselves? Could we please fucking focus on the Henderson account instead 2: Ok. But would you suicide-bomb yourself if Osama bin Laden was standing next to you? What if there were also little kids standing beside you? OK... But what if it also meant the Henderson account straightened out? 3: What the fuck are you talking about? The whole point of getting the Henderson account straightened is that I get a cash bonus! I don't care about the goddam account on principle! Hang up the phone and get back to work!
November 23, 2025 at 6:17 PM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 10 - #3
get your war on 10 - #3 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/05/02/war10-3/ 1: Sometimes I wonder if suicide bombing is literally the freakiest human act possible. Seriously, what could a human do to themselves that would be more bizarre and scary? Somehow fuck their own brain or something? 2: Nothing could get me to suicide-bomb myself. I don't even know how to construct the fucking active verb form of that shit, it's so fucked! 3: Would you suicide-bomb yourself if it would also kill Osama bin Laden? 4: Hell no! The whole point of killing Osama bin Laden is that it increases my chances of staying alive!
November 22, 2025 at 2:55 PM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 10 - #2
get your war on 10 - #2 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/05/02/war10-2/ 1: Israeli officials demanded that a UN fact-finding mission into the Jenin incursion not reach any "observations" or "conclusions." What the fuck does that mean? 2: How the fuck do you look at something and not also observe it? Or not fucking conclude something about it? Why are Israel's demands getting all metaphysical? 3: Woah! Is that why the UN gave up?-- does just looking at things make you anti-Israel? OH MY GOD! I've been looking at things all day!
November 21, 2025 at 7:43 PM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 10 - #1
get your war on 10 - #1 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/05/02/war10-1/ 1: Can you imagine being cooped up in a room with Yasser Arafat for months? Do you think that would be a... pleasant experience? 2: I think I would end up driving a bulldozer over myself 3: Wouldn't it be so much nicer to be cooped up with Ariel Sharon, and hear of his dreams for The Chosen People of Judea?
November 20, 2025 at 6:39 PM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 9 - #8
get your war on 9 - #8 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/03/28/war9-8/ 1: I'm telling you - Ariel Sharon is a man of peace! He's a fucking pacifist! 2: True, things do get damn peaceful in a town after Sharon rolls on through. Oh, wait, yeah - it's so peaceful because everything's completely fucking destroyed! 3: Uhh... dude, are you anti-Semetic or something?
November 19, 2025 at 7:33 PM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 9 - #7
get your war on 9 - #7 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/03/28/war9-7/ 1: Mommeeee! This news report says Mr. Sharon doesn't do what Mr. Bush says! 2: So who is the number-one head motherfucker in charge, then? 3: So I told him, "Honey, the Pope is still the number-one head motherfucker in charge! After all, he's the oldest!"
November 18, 2025 at 7:10 PM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 9 - #6
get your war on 9 - #6 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/03/28/war9-6/ 1: Did you hear? That guy is still stuck in his office with Voltron! Cooool-- our very own incursion! 2: Hey buddy-- how are you enduring your Voltron? You'll be pleased to know President Bush just referred to him as a "gargantuan, humorless robotic lion-man of peace!" 3: Huh. I guess that's supposed to be reassuring. Say, could you send an ambulance in here? I'm so fucking full of bile I think I'm going to have a stroke!
November 16, 2025 at 4:17 PM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 9 - #5
get your war on 9 - #5 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/03/28/war9-5/ 1: Sometimes I wish Osama bin Laden was as easy to track down and kill as Canadians! 2: I read that Bush is going to force the Canadians into refugee camps, the turn the whole country over to the Palestinians! That should solve everything. 3: Would that make Rick Moranis the Canadians' Yasser Arafat? He's certainly fucking goofy-looking enough!
November 15, 2025 at 6:05 PM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 9 - #4
get your war on 9 - #4 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/03/28/war9-4/ 1: How psyched is George W. Bush to defeat Saddam Hussein for his dad? I wish I could do something like that for my dad! 2: George H.W. Bush is going to be SO damn proud of his son! He'll probably put Saddam's death certificate on the fridge! I was a C student! 3: Just wait until twelve years from now, when Jenna Bush fuckin' defeats Osama bin Laden for her dad! Will the circle be unbroken, by and by Lord, by and by? Is this truly the only Earth I can live on?
November 14, 2025 at 6:33 PM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 9 - #3
get your war on 9 - #3 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/03/28/war9-3/ 1: When the Middle East is rockin', don't come a-knockin'! 2: The Middle East is about to start rocking like a motherfucker! 3: When the Middle East is nuclear rockin', don't come a-nuclear-knockin'!
November 13, 2025 at 6:31 PM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 9 - #2
get your war on 9 - #2 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/03/28/war9-2/ 1: I wonder why Tom Ridge won't authorize detention of Voltron? I can't work with his mechanical-lion ass staring at me! 2: Maybe Tom Ridge is assigning every American their own personal Voltron! Schweeet! That'd definitely make me feel safer than a fucking magical missile shield floating in outer space! 3: Seriously, I wonder how many Voltrons the Defense Department could buy with next year's budget increase?
November 11, 2025 at 7:44 PM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 9 - #1
get your war on 9 - #1 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/03/28/war9-1/ 1: Hello? Did you ever call Office Security? I'm still knee-deep in Voltron up here! 2: Office Security says they now have to clear their activities with some "Tom Ridge" Character! Apparently he's the mighty man who's keeping us safe now! Funny, I never heard of the motherfucker doing anything useful! 3: Hell yes the suspect looks foreign, Mr. Ridge! He's a robot made out of LIONS, for fuck's sake!
November 11, 2025 at 1:48 AM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 8 - #7
get your war on 8 - #7 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/02/18/war8-7/ 1: What the fuck is Voltron talking about? Is this some religious thing? Am I fucking being baptized by Voltron? 2: I believe in the Human Spirit, the taker of life, who proceeds from the Father and the War. With the Father and the War it is worshipped and glorified. It has spoken through its profits. I acknowledge one War for the commission of sins. I look for no resurrection of the dead, and to the Wars of the world to come. Amen. 3: Sure, Voltron-- Whatever you say! No need to get heavy, now! (Dude could you please call Office Security for me???)
November 9, 2025 at 6:12 PM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 8 - #6
get your war on 8 - #6 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/02/18/war8-6/ 1: Oh shit, I think Voltron is about to speak! I'll put you on speakerphone! 2: I believe in one War, the Father, the Almighty, destroyer of heaven and earth, of all that is, seen and unseen. Eternally begotten of the Father, War from War, Bomb from Bomb, begotten, not made, of one Being with the War. Through War all things were made. For us and for our salvation War came down from heaven: by the power of the Human Spirit it became incarnate... and was made man. 3: For War's sake humans are crucified, suffer death and are buried. On the third day no one will rise again and no one will ascend into heaven. War will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead, and its kingdom will have no end.
November 8, 2025 at 7:13 PM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 8 - #5
get your war on 8 - #5 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/02/18/war8-5/ 1: Goddammit, if you don't make the most of Voltron's presence and ask him some goddamn probing questions about the state of the world, I'll come down there and do it myself! As him: HOW MANY BOMBS? 2: Well? 3: Oh come on, we both know how many fucking bombs it'll take! All of the fucking bombs we can make!
November 7, 2025 at 8:32 PM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 8 - #4
get your war on 8 - #4 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/02/18/war8-4/ 1: GodDAMN Voltron is looking tough as hell standing here in my office! I wish my manager would walk by and see this shit! 2: I can't believe you've got fucking Voltron in front of you and you're not grilling him! Ask him if he's flown over Afghanistan! Ask him what the fuck is going on down there! 3: Let me tell you something, my friend-- when you're in the presence of Voltron, Afghanistan seems a million light-years away! I hope Voltron stays in my office for a nice long time!
November 6, 2025 at 6:29 PM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 8 - #3
get your war on 8 - #3 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/02/18/war8-3/ 1: Ask Voltron what it's like battling evil! Is militarizing space gonna be cool as hell? How many bombs will it take to bring peace and justice to all of Earth? 2: I remember watching Voltron on TV with my little brother! How can I ask him about fucking insane levels of defense spending? Damn, I can't believe he's TRULY MADE OUT OF MECHANICAL LIONS!!! Oh my God!!! 3: Ask him: 20,000 bombs? 200,000 bombs? Bombs made out of robot animals or some shit like that?
November 5, 2025 at 6:29 PM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 8 - #2
get your war on 8 - #2 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/02/18/war8-2/ 1: I can't believe I'm sitting here looking at VOLTRON!!! What the fuck does he want? He's not saying anything! 2: Isn't Voltron, like, 2,000 feet tall? How can he fit in your office? 3: The last time I thought about Voltron, I couldn't give a fuck about foreign policy! Now I can't stop thinking about people dying all over the world!
November 4, 2025 at 7:09 PM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 8 - #1
get your war on 8 - #1 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2002/02/18/war8-1/ 1: An Axis of Evil versus A Nation Challenged! We've got eleven fucking wars to wage all of a sudden! Hold on, someone's at the door-- 2: Holy fucking shit, man, you'll never guess who just walked in-- VOLTRON!!! Woah! What the hell??? 3: Voltron's Office of Homeland Security is in the heeeeouse!
November 3, 2025 at 7:01 PM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 7 - #5
get your war on 7 - #5 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2001/12/12/war7-5/ 1: We can't find Osama because Arthur Andersen fucking shredded him! 2: By the way, fuck Joseph Lieberman! He's a creep! Fucking learn how to talk right, frog-voice! 3: My two cents: John Ashcroft doesn't dance! Joyless bastard! He probably digs a lot of the Taliban's ideas! Bring back Janet Reno! Let's return to killing people in Texas, please!
November 1, 2025 at 5:32 PM
getyourwaron.bsky.social
get your war on 7 - #4
get your war on 7 - #4 http://www.mnftiu.cc/2001/12/12/war7-4/ 1: Here's what I don't understand -- couldn't the evildoers at Enron have figured out a way to ruin the lives of, oh, say, the Taliban -- instead of their own goddam American employees? 2: Who's fucking who here? Is the Taliban obsessed with ruining American lives, or is Enron? Who am I supposed to want to bomb? 3: FUCKING BOMB TEXAS!!! They don't play fair down there! Texas is bullshit! We should sell the state to Mexico and let them fucking slaughter those assholes!
October 31, 2025 at 3:41 PM