Gene Weingarten
@geneweingarten.bsky.social
Former Wapo humor columnist, current writer, cartoonist, and misanthrope.
A must read for anyone who is, or dreams of being, a journalist.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/every-repo...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/every-repo...
Every Reporter's Nightmare
Today I am going to tell you about a dream I just had.
geneweingarten.substack.com
November 14, 2025 at 5:01 PM
A must read for anyone who is, or dreams of being, a journalist.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/every-repo...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/every-repo...
“The president’s gone mad.” “Where?” “Downtown.” “When?” “Last night” “Hmm, say, that’s too bad!
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/his-schmuc...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/his-schmuc...
His Schmuckiest, Most Unbalanced Idea Ever. (So Far.)
Let us consider, for a moment, the latest bit of senile megalomaniacal lunacy to issue from the offices of the president of the United States.
geneweingarten.substack.com
November 12, 2025 at 9:26 PM
“The president’s gone mad.” “Where?” “Downtown.” “When?” “Last night” “Hmm, say, that’s too bad!
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/his-schmuc...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/his-schmuc...
Here's the latest headline on the homepage of The Washington Post, the newspaper that feels copy editors are mostly inessential: "These coffee shops prided their role as community hubs. Then tariffs hit."
November 11, 2025 at 7:55 PM
Here's the latest headline on the homepage of The Washington Post, the newspaper that feels copy editors are mostly inessential: "These coffee shops prided their role as community hubs. Then tariffs hit."
Anne Frank as covered by Frank Zappa.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/anne-frank...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/anne-frank...
"Anne Frank’s Story Retold as an Intersectional, Multiethnic, Genderqueer, Decolonized, Anti-capitalist, Hyper-empowering Afro-Latin Hip-hop Musical"
Hello.
geneweingarten.substack.com
November 10, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Anne Frank as covered by Frank Zappa.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/anne-frank...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/anne-frank...
The Apple Has Rotted.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-impend...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-impend...
The Impending Death of New York City
— Greetings from New York.
geneweingarten.substack.com
November 9, 2025 at 2:04 PM
The Apple Has Rotted.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-impend...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-impend...
So, this is funny. But I mean it.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/warning-no...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/warning-no...
Warning: No Pipe Dreams.
Hello!
geneweingarten.substack.com
November 5, 2025 at 5:24 PM
So, this is funny. But I mean it.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/warning-no...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/warning-no...
My eulogy. Sort of.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/sorry-dick
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/sorry-dick
Sorry, Dick.
A eulogy apology.
geneweingarten.substack.com
November 4, 2025 at 7:07 PM
My eulogy. Sort of.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/sorry-dick
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/sorry-dick
I wouldn't want to be Mike Wallace, down there in his grave, rolling.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/see-bs-9b7
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/see-bs-9b7
See? BS.
When I was a young reporter, there was a joke most journos knew some variation of.
geneweingarten.substack.com
November 4, 2025 at 2:58 PM
I wouldn't want to be Mike Wallace, down there in his grave, rolling.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/see-bs-9b7
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/see-bs-9b7
Why did Daylight Savings Time sneak up unannounced this year?
November 2, 2025 at 12:55 PM
Why did Daylight Savings Time sneak up unannounced this year?
My final word on The Rashomon Defect and the World Series.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-rashom...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-rashom...
The Rashomon Defect
Something interesting happened last night.
geneweingarten.substack.com
November 1, 2025 at 4:22 PM
My final word on The Rashomon Defect and the World Series.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-rashom...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-rashom...
Can anyone explain to me why almost everyone is calling the end of game six a "wild play?" Yes, it was an extremely dramatic moment. Everything on the line, etc. But it seems to me to be a normal outfield assist with poor baserunning. Ordinary catch, ordinary throw. Not a close play at second.
November 1, 2025 at 12:55 PM
Can anyone explain to me why almost everyone is calling the end of game six a "wild play?" Yes, it was an extremely dramatic moment. Everything on the line, etc. But it seems to me to be a normal outfield assist with poor baserunning. Ordinary catch, ordinary throw. Not a close play at second.
I contend Vance committed a Damned Lie. Plus, other nasty observations.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/lies-damne...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/lies-damne...
Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics
Hello, fellow inmates. It’s hard to keep track, but the lies seem to keep snowballing, then melting in Hell.
geneweingarten.substack.com
October 31, 2025 at 3:38 PM
I contend Vance committed a Damned Lie. Plus, other nasty observations.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/lies-damne...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/lies-damne...
What does "pea milk" taste like? Hint: i've given you a clue.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/is-this-th...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/is-this-th...
Is This the Stuff of Human Kindness?
Went to the grocery store yesterday to buy cow milk.
geneweingarten.substack.com
October 28, 2025 at 1:57 PM
What does "pea milk" taste like? Hint: i've given you a clue.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/is-this-th...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/is-this-th...
The Wapo will not like this post.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/in-ruins
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/in-ruins
In Ruins
Strap in.
geneweingarten.substack.com
October 27, 2025 at 12:29 AM
The Wapo will not like this post.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/in-ruins
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/in-ruins
Halloween song parodies: Watch the winning video. It's scary good!
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-invita...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-invita...
The Invitational Week 147: Prep-itaphs
What to put on the tombstones of still-living people. Plus, songs for the season of the witch,
geneweingarten.substack.com
October 23, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Halloween song parodies: Watch the winning video. It's scary good!
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-invita...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-invita...
Scum, All Ye Faithful.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/friends-li...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/friends-li...
Friends Like These
It was an evening in November,
geneweingarten.substack.com
October 22, 2025 at 3:08 PM
Scum, All Ye Faithful.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/friends-li...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/friends-li...
Anyone else out there kind of sickened by how many pretty common words there are -- particularly in science and medicine -- of which the NYT Spelling Bee seems unaware? Warning: Don't get me started.
October 21, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Anyone else out there kind of sickened by how many pretty common words there are -- particularly in science and medicine -- of which the NYT Spelling Bee seems unaware? Warning: Don't get me started.
The anti-abortion law professor who dotes on Trump was just appointed to sit on a big federal appeals court. Her name is Jennifer Lee Mascott.
October 21, 2025 at 9:06 PM
The anti-abortion law professor who dotes on Trump was just appointed to sit on a big federal appeals court. Her name is Jennifer Lee Mascott.
Do YOU have thrombotic thrombocytopenic purpura? Maybe these guys can help.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/this-just-...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/this-just-...
This Just In! To My Inbox!
“Gene Weingarten, Hi this is Bobby Corvey with th...
geneweingarten.substack.com
October 21, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Do YOU have thrombotic thrombocytopenic purpura? Maybe these guys can help.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/this-just-...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/this-just-...
My girlfriend is taking an acting class in Ibsen. She points out that "Hedda Gabler" would be a great name for a porn star.
October 20, 2025 at 4:21 PM
My girlfriend is taking an acting class in Ibsen. She points out that "Hedda Gabler" would be a great name for a porn star.
The F.U. Protest (It worked.)
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/any-questi...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/any-questi...
Any Questions?
Hello. Just got back from the No Kings protest on the Mall in Washington D.C., a huge display of justified public outrage over an ongoing criminal and amoral assault against the people of the United S...
geneweingarten.substack.com
October 19, 2025 at 12:25 AM
The F.U. Protest (It worked.)
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/any-questi...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/any-questi...
It's Latin, pig.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/beat-it
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/beat-it
Beat It.
Hello. Apologies for the second Gene Pool today.
geneweingarten.substack.com
October 18, 2025 at 2:16 AM
It's Latin, pig.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/beat-it
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/beat-it
Hegseth chokes!
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/hegseth-an...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/hegseth-an...
Hegseth Announces New Rules, Pleasures Self, at Nearly Empty Press Conference
By Daniel Baldwin
geneweingarten.substack.com
October 15, 2025 at 12:25 PM
Hegseth chokes!
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/hegseth-an...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/hegseth-an...
The Riyadh Comedy Festival, Cancer Culture, and me.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/who-are-th...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/who-are-th...
Who ARE These Clowns?
Hello.
geneweingarten.substack.com
October 14, 2025 at 1:06 PM
The Riyadh Comedy Festival, Cancer Culture, and me.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/who-are-th...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/who-are-th...
This guy has been doing schtick, right? (I think so.)
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/where-have...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/where-have...
Where Have You Gone, Steven Cheung?
I really expected more from the rotund White House Communications Director after his boss didn’t win the Nobel Peace Prize.
geneweingarten.substack.com
October 10, 2025 at 9:00 PM
This guy has been doing schtick, right? (I think so.)
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/where-have...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/where-have...