Shakesbeer
@geminirising.bsky.social
Someone's feral aunt. Works in community theater, drinks a lot of coffee, and reads a lot of smut. Cusses frequently. Enjoys a Lakers loss.
As a theater professional.....I'm sorry WHAT
Experience: I was stabbed in the back with a real knife while performing Julius Caesar
Experience: I was stabbed in the back with a real knife while performing Julius Caesar
Our student theatre group had the bright idea of using actual knives on stage for authenticity. The blade missed my aorta by about a centimetre
www.theguardian.com
November 29, 2025 at 2:30 AM
As a theater professional.....I'm sorry WHAT
I never get any credit for not prematurely breaking into the Oreos that I bought to make a pie crust with. Like, I really want a fucking Oreo but I only bought enough for the pie on Thursday and wow that was so dumb of past me.
November 24, 2025 at 4:12 AM
I never get any credit for not prematurely breaking into the Oreos that I bought to make a pie crust with. Like, I really want a fucking Oreo but I only bought enough for the pie on Thursday and wow that was so dumb of past me.
Reposted by Shakesbeer
If you're a door to door whatever you're doing, and I don't answer the first time you knock, I don't care if you know I'm home... fucking leave. Especially in the dark and my porch light isn't on. Get the fuck off my porch, no survey is worth knocking THREE more times.
November 21, 2025 at 11:32 PM
If you're a door to door whatever you're doing, and I don't answer the first time you knock, I don't care if you know I'm home... fucking leave. Especially in the dark and my porch light isn't on. Get the fuck off my porch, no survey is worth knocking THREE more times.
Weird things I Google for my job:
"Is Frank N. Furter more of a Leo or an Aries?"
"Is Frank N. Furter more of a Leo or an Aries?"
October 28, 2025 at 3:28 PM
Weird things I Google for my job:
"Is Frank N. Furter more of a Leo or an Aries?"
"Is Frank N. Furter more of a Leo or an Aries?"
A group chat of 30somethings discover the new Yellowcard album and for one brief beautiful moment it's 2004 again
October 13, 2025 at 11:55 PM
A group chat of 30somethings discover the new Yellowcard album and for one brief beautiful moment it's 2004 again
I just watched Adolescence in one sitting and I think I need a minute.
Jesus fucking christ
Jesus fucking christ
September 28, 2025 at 3:09 AM
I just watched Adolescence in one sitting and I think I need a minute.
Jesus fucking christ
Jesus fucking christ
Reposted by Shakesbeer
“You’ve got sadness in you, I’ve got sadness in me – and my works of art are places where the two sadnesses can meet, and therefore both of us need to feel less sad.”
HBD, Mark Rothko ...
HBD, Mark Rothko ...
September 25, 2025 at 1:49 PM
“You’ve got sadness in you, I’ve got sadness in me – and my works of art are places where the two sadnesses can meet, and therefore both of us need to feel less sad.”
HBD, Mark Rothko ...
HBD, Mark Rothko ...
She's a 10 but she'd rather ask the void if it knows if Green Door is open again now that it's fall and the weird summer hours are supposed to be over but everything online is still very ??and god forbid she make a fucking phone call
September 27, 2025 at 12:18 AM
She's a 10 but she'd rather ask the void if it knows if Green Door is open again now that it's fall and the weird summer hours are supposed to be over but everything online is still very ??and god forbid she make a fucking phone call
When I was kid, like the mid to late 90's, Baskin Robbins had this shake but not quite a shake called Chocolate Blast and I've been chasing that high ever since. That shit was fucking delicious
September 24, 2025 at 11:02 PM
When I was kid, like the mid to late 90's, Baskin Robbins had this shake but not quite a shake called Chocolate Blast and I've been chasing that high ever since. That shit was fucking delicious
Reposted by Shakesbeer
We used to be a proper country
August 5, 2025 at 12:38 AM
We used to be a proper country
All I'm saying is, I don't think it's the mustaches, I think it's Kerry Carpenter.
August 2, 2025 at 1:32 AM
All I'm saying is, I don't think it's the mustaches, I think it's Kerry Carpenter.
Unfortunately, I've yet to encounter a High Noon disguised as Celsius. Really woulda thought the odds were in my favor on this one.
August 1, 2025 at 2:10 AM
Unfortunately, I've yet to encounter a High Noon disguised as Celsius. Really woulda thought the odds were in my favor on this one.
Pro tip: If you have to go to the ER, try to go on your period. It's really nice not having to go through all the "let's make sure you're not pregnant" bullshit.
July 21, 2025 at 3:04 AM
Pro tip: If you have to go to the ER, try to go on your period. It's really nice not having to go through all the "let's make sure you're not pregnant" bullshit.
Would you judge me if I deleted this and started over, because holy hell, I think I messed up when I first started here 🙈
July 17, 2025 at 3:09 AM
Would you judge me if I deleted this and started over, because holy hell, I think I messed up when I first started here 🙈
Another summer, another game of: Guess the mystery plant, cucumber or pumpkin?
You compost pumpkins one goddamn time 😂
You compost pumpkins one goddamn time 😂
July 15, 2025 at 2:40 AM
Another summer, another game of: Guess the mystery plant, cucumber or pumpkin?
You compost pumpkins one goddamn time 😂
You compost pumpkins one goddamn time 😂
I'm know I'm old because a man just walked past my porch while I was having a smoke and offered to trade me a couple of weed nuggs (bare, just in his hand btw) for a couple of my cigarettes but I absolutely did not recognize any of the words for what he was offering me 🤣 He got 'em free of charge😆
a cartoon character says " the very instant i became old " in front of a red phone
ALT: a cartoon character says " the very instant i became old " in front of a red phone
media.tenor.com
July 14, 2025 at 1:03 AM
I'm know I'm old because a man just walked past my porch while I was having a smoke and offered to trade me a couple of weed nuggs (bare, just in his hand btw) for a couple of my cigarettes but I absolutely did not recognize any of the words for what he was offering me 🤣 He got 'em free of charge😆
Still thinking about how I went to howl at the moon last night but the lady across the street was already outhere being the weird neighbor. It was 12:15 at night and she's taking long handled hedge trimmers to the grass in her front yard by the light of the lone street lamp.
July 13, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Still thinking about how I went to howl at the moon last night but the lady across the street was already outhere being the weird neighbor. It was 12:15 at night and she's taking long handled hedge trimmers to the grass in her front yard by the light of the lone street lamp.
I like to sit on my porch, zone out, and I'm usually not wearing my glasses. My biggest fear is that a neighbor thinks I was looking at them and acknowledged me only for me to completely ignore them because I can't see past three feet in front of me.
July 13, 2025 at 12:17 AM
I like to sit on my porch, zone out, and I'm usually not wearing my glasses. My biggest fear is that a neighbor thinks I was looking at them and acknowledged me only for me to completely ignore them because I can't see past three feet in front of me.
Today in Small Victories: I think I finally replicated my grandma's scrambled eggs, and without the microwave
July 12, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Today in Small Victories: I think I finally replicated my grandma's scrambled eggs, and without the microwave
Will never stop being delighted by snacking on raspberries from the backyard
July 11, 2025 at 10:57 PM
Will never stop being delighted by snacking on raspberries from the backyard
The news coming out of Texas continues to absolutely gut me, fucking horrific.
July 8, 2025 at 12:23 AM
The news coming out of Texas continues to absolutely gut me, fucking horrific.
I'm a simple person truly. Today at Barnes & Noble a gal came up to me just to say "you're like really pretty"
I will be riding this compliment into next week.
I will be riding this compliment into next week.
July 7, 2025 at 9:18 PM
I'm a simple person truly. Today at Barnes & Noble a gal came up to me just to say "you're like really pretty"
I will be riding this compliment into next week.
I will be riding this compliment into next week.
Why can't I remember without doing math how old I am anymore? 38? 39? I'm just gonna say 40 I guess.
June 30, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Why can't I remember without doing math how old I am anymore? 38? 39? I'm just gonna say 40 I guess.
Am I crazy, or does Cedar street smell just like a hookah lounge in 2007 tonight?
June 29, 2025 at 3:12 AM
Am I crazy, or does Cedar street smell just like a hookah lounge in 2007 tonight?