Software is a machine with no moving parts that should never wear out, yet software is the most fragile product we produce. Modern software depends heavily on operating systems and remote services. When they change, they leave in their wake thousands of broken and buggy applications. It's a scam!
July 18, 2025 at 4:14 PM
Software is a machine with no moving parts that should never wear out, yet software is the most fragile product we produce. Modern software depends heavily on operating systems and remote services. When they change, they leave in their wake thousands of broken and buggy applications. It's a scam!
If you need me I might be doing the twist.
June 30, 2025 at 3:51 PM
If you need me I might be doing the twist.
I cleared off a shelf next to my stereo and put about 50 record albums on it. I did this because I like to pretend I’m a normal person who owns 50 record albums instead of 3,000.
June 27, 2025 at 6:16 AM
I cleared off a shelf next to my stereo and put about 50 record albums on it. I did this because I like to pretend I’m a normal person who owns 50 record albums instead of 3,000.
1) It’s Monday and you’re feeling overwhelmed because you have 10 tasks due this week. 2) You work three hours and finish the first task. 3) Feeling a great sense of relief, you take the rest of the day off. 4) It’s Tuesday and you’re feeling overwhelmed because you have 9 tasks due this week.
May 10, 2025 at 3:07 AM
1) It’s Monday and you’re feeling overwhelmed because you have 10 tasks due this week. 2) You work three hours and finish the first task. 3) Feeling a great sense of relief, you take the rest of the day off. 4) It’s Tuesday and you’re feeling overwhelmed because you have 9 tasks due this week.
When will they finally give us the Greatest American Hero reboot we’ve all been waiting for? Owen Wilson would be perfect as Ralph Hinkley, or was it Ralph Hanley, or just Mr. H?
May 2, 2025 at 9:28 AM
When will they finally give us the Greatest American Hero reboot we’ve all been waiting for? Owen Wilson would be perfect as Ralph Hinkley, or was it Ralph Hanley, or just Mr. H?
Blue Origin is a glorified amusement park ride for wealthy people. You are not an astronaut. You did not go to space.
April 15, 2025 at 11:07 AM
Blue Origin is a glorified amusement park ride for wealthy people. You are not an astronaut. You did not go to space.
When the customer starts reporting bugs that you have to "fix" by explaining to them why the software is correctly following the convoluted rules that they asked for, that's when you know the project is done.
April 3, 2025 at 3:03 PM
When the customer starts reporting bugs that you have to "fix" by explaining to them why the software is correctly following the convoluted rules that they asked for, that's when you know the project is done.
What if future humans do invent time travel and they do go back in time to eliminate the worst people in history, and what we’ve got now is what was left?
March 31, 2025 at 12:23 PM
What if future humans do invent time travel and they do go back in time to eliminate the worst people in history, and what we’ve got now is what was left?
Why does the movie theater show you an ad for the movie theater when you’re already at the movie theater?
March 31, 2025 at 1:09 AM
Why does the movie theater show you an ad for the movie theater when you’re already at the movie theater?
The point of levying high taxes on people with high incomes is not that we expect them to hand over 75% of their income to the government. The point is to encourage them to put their money to use, starting businesses and creating jobs, instead of hoarding it. Or if you're bad at business, donate it.
March 25, 2025 at 2:15 PM
The point of levying high taxes on people with high incomes is not that we expect them to hand over 75% of their income to the government. The point is to encourage them to put their money to use, starting businesses and creating jobs, instead of hoarding it. Or if you're bad at business, donate it.
How can they call it “Deluxe” when it is literally the cheapest option?
March 22, 2025 at 6:40 PM
How can they call it “Deluxe” when it is literally the cheapest option?
The people who lost $50 billion in the stock market crash still have $100 billion left. They’ll get by.
March 18, 2025 at 9:07 PM
The people who lost $50 billion in the stock market crash still have $100 billion left. They’ll get by.
Hey Siri, stop turning “Apple Intelligence” back on every time my phone installs an iOS update. If I decide my own intelligence is insufficient at some point I’ll let you know.
March 17, 2025 at 8:50 AM
Hey Siri, stop turning “Apple Intelligence” back on every time my phone installs an iOS update. If I decide my own intelligence is insufficient at some point I’ll let you know.
Murphy's law of Stack Overflow: No matter how carefully, succintly and accurately you describe the problem you're having, the first response will be from some idiot asking you to post your code.
March 15, 2025 at 12:47 AM
Murphy's law of Stack Overflow: No matter how carefully, succintly and accurately you describe the problem you're having, the first response will be from some idiot asking you to post your code.
Computers get smaller every year. Cat still finds a way.
March 14, 2025 at 10:26 PM
Computers get smaller every year. Cat still finds a way.
In my day we had usernames and passwords. Now we have auth URLs, access URLs, client IDs, client secrets, scopes, callback URLs, access tokens, refresh tokens, group policies, and expiration dates. It takes as long to build the Login screen as it used to take to build the whole application.
March 12, 2025 at 6:46 PM
In my day we had usernames and passwords. Now we have auth URLs, access URLs, client IDs, client secrets, scopes, callback URLs, access tokens, refresh tokens, group policies, and expiration dates. It takes as long to build the Login screen as it used to take to build the whole application.
The practice of renaming, redefining or otherwise breaking APIs and build tools used by millions of projects ought to be illegal. I am looking at you, Android Studio, and you, Grade, and you, Kotlin.
March 10, 2025 at 7:27 PM
The practice of renaming, redefining or otherwise breaking APIs and build tools used by millions of projects ought to be illegal. I am looking at you, Android Studio, and you, Grade, and you, Kotlin.
They’ll cut your Social Security, take away your Medicare, defund your kid’s school and tank your 401k. Then they’ll cut your taxes by a couple of hundred bucks and you’ll think you’re coming out ahead.
March 7, 2025 at 11:26 AM
They’ll cut your Social Security, take away your Medicare, defund your kid’s school and tank your 401k. Then they’ll cut your taxes by a couple of hundred bucks and you’ll think you’re coming out ahead.
There are at least four ways that a desk clock could set the correct time automatically: listen to the atomic clock radio broadcast, connect to Wifi and use a time server, synchronize with your phone over Bluetooth, or use a GPS receiver. Virtually none do this and they're always wrong.
March 2, 2025 at 11:15 PM
There are at least four ways that a desk clock could set the correct time automatically: listen to the atomic clock radio broadcast, connect to Wifi and use a time server, synchronize with your phone over Bluetooth, or use a GPS receiver. Virtually none do this and they're always wrong.
Apple deciced that the tabs of a UITabBar should now appear at the top of the screen as a segment control when running on an iPad, but my customers and designers don't know that, forcing me to spend an afternoon of ridiculous hackery to get it to show up the old way.
February 27, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Apple deciced that the tabs of a UITabBar should now appear at the top of the screen as a segment control when running on an iPad, but my customers and designers don't know that, forcing me to spend an afternoon of ridiculous hackery to get it to show up the old way.
At the Key West Butterfly and Nature Conservatory, anyone can pretend to be a wildlife photographer.
February 21, 2025 at 12:33 AM
At the Key West Butterfly and Nature Conservatory, anyone can pretend to be a wildlife photographer.
A crime against nutrition. Should be illegal. Luckily it isn’t.
February 14, 2025 at 9:35 PM
A crime against nutrition. Should be illegal. Luckily it isn’t.
Airplane safety card.
February 10, 2025 at 7:32 PM
Airplane safety card.