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Folly Times
@follytimes.com
39 followers 12 following 440 posts
🔗 https://follytimes.com

Your Breaking Not News Source. Where fact meets fiction. Informing the misinformed, one absurdity at a time. In Stultitia, Fiducia.
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🙊 𝐆𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐱𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐅𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐡 𝐀𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐂𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐔𝐩

Lawmakers say silence shows respect for the process and saves everyone time. follytimes.com/qm75
February 9, 2026 at 11:03 PM
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💰 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐒 𝐒𝐀𝐘 𝐖𝐎𝐖 𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐀 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐊 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐒

Steve Bannon understood the grind.
Jeffrey Epstein understood the distance.
Together, it scaled efficiently.

Full Story: follytimes.com/06ll
World of Warcraft Gold Proven Shockingly Effective for Hiding Money | Folly Times
A review of financial blind spots revealed how World of Warcraft gold avoided scrutiny. Officials cited Jeffrey Epstein and Steve Bannon while insisting the system behaved normally. — Satire news from...
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February 8, 2026 at 3:48 PM
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✈️ 𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐑𝐃𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐄𝐒 𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐄𝐃𝐀𝐋𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐅𝐈𝐗 𝐉𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐔𝐄

Gold medals arrive later and fix earlier mistakes.
Critics advised to wait quietly.

Read More: follytimes.com/3fdl
February 7, 2026 at 9:16 PM
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🏅 𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐀 𝐏𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐋𝐘𝐌𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐍

According to MAGA, the Counter Winter Olympics will proceed without foreign countries, because diversity and non English speaking athletes is the work of the Devil. follytimes.com/7kco
Counter Olympics Declared Superior by MAGA After Removing Other Nations | Folly Times
MAGA leaders announced plans for a Counter Olympics designed to remove confusion caused by other nations. Organizers say confidence replaces competition. — Satire news from The Folly Times. Breaking a...
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February 7, 2026 at 5:47 PM
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𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐋𝐘𝐌𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐒 𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐘

PSA: Paris 2024 Summer Olympics — Some people thought France was declaring war on Christianity and masculinity. Please check on your local MAGA accordingly. #Olympics2026

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Absurd headlines, political mockery, and the news you didn’t know you needed. Updated regularly for your entertainment.
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February 7, 2026 at 1:37 AM
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BREAKING: White House staffer, David Dennison, identified following backlash over a racist video of the Obamas shared on Donald Trump’s Truth Social account. Read More: follytimes.com/cr5f
February 6, 2026 at 6:45 PM
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🔴 TRUMP POSTS MONKEY VIDEO OF OBAMAS, WHITE HOUSE CALLS IT “WITHIN NORMS”

White House dismisses racist imagery in Trump’s Truth Social post, signaling it ranks much lower than almost anything Trump and Epstein. follytimes.com/cr5f
White House Confirms Monkey Video Falls Within Acceptable Discourse | Folly Times
A controversial video shared by Donald Trump featuring the Obamas passed review this week. Officials treated backlash as engagement and praised the system for consistency. — Satire news from The Folly...
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February 6, 2026 at 4:00 PM
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❌ 𝐌𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐏𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐲 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐁𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲

Mercy described as reckless. Enforcement praised as loving.

follytimes.com/tfjq
Mike Johnson Warns Pope That Mercy Could Undermine Border Security | Folly Times
House Speaker Mike Johnson issued a warning that unchecked mercy could threaten border security. He explained that compassion must operate within defined limits. Officials agreed the clarification res...
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February 5, 2026 at 3:02 PM
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𝐍𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐈𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐈𝐭 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲 #DEI #NIKE

Nike says once investigators review the data, they’ll understand discrimination wasn’t a problem—it was the solution.
Nike Confident Investigation Will Prove It Discriminated Correctly | Folly Times
Nike responded to a federal subpoena by thanking the government for believing in the process. Company leaders said the investigation will confirm Nike’s choices were correct, by definition. Regulators...
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February 4, 2026 at 10:27 PM
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🤥 𝐍𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐌𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐎𝐟 𝐋𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐈𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐞𝐬

Doctors report confidence remains stable. Facts were not considered. follytimes.com/mjky
Nancy Mace Declares Herself Medically Incapable Of Lying, Immediately Lies | Folly Times
Representative Nancy Mace cited medical science to explain why she cannot lie, then immediately contradicted herself. Doctors say the pattern fits a known condition. — Satire news from The Folly Times...
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February 4, 2026 at 5:25 PM
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𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐥 𝐋𝐨𝐠𝐨 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐄𝐩𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐢𝐧 𝐅𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 #MAGA #EpsteinFiles

The Epstein files were “complicated.”
The Cracker Barrel logo was personal.

Read ⤵️
follytimes.com/ds2k
Cracker Barrel Logo Change Triggered More Anger Than Epstein Files | Folly Times
Public reaction made one thing clear. Restaurant branding changes now outperform scandal disclosures in emotional engagement. — Satire news from The Folly Times. Breaking absurd updates with politics,...
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February 4, 2026 at 3:38 PM
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𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐀 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐇𝐚𝐥𝐟𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐨 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠

The protest, sponsored by Bud Light, will air during halftime of the game they stopped watching years ago. #SuperBowl

Read Here 👉 follytimes.com/dpom
February 3, 2026 at 1:16 AM
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🦝 𝐓𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐒𝐮𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐒𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐔𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐑𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬

Town officials say relying on a stupid groundhog with a 50/50 record is “no longer weather, just gambling with fur.” #GroundhogDay2026

Read: follytimes.com/vdyn
Prophecy Raccoon Weather Ritual Delayed After Rusty Fails To Report | Folly Times
A missing raccoon has delayed a small town’s annual weather ritual. Officials say the process matters more than the animal. Winter remains in effect until compliance is restored. — Satire news from Th...
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February 2, 2026 at 2:55 PM
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𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐀𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐔𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐔𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐓𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐥𝐲

Engineers confirm functionality will return once users stop asking questions so they can update the update.

Read Here: follytimes.com/clqd
New Update Broke Things Until Next Update, Company Confirms | Folly Times
After the latest release caused widespread confusion, the company assured users the new update broke things temporarily. Officials say progress depends on accepting instability as a feature, not a fla...
follytimes.com
February 1, 2026 at 2:48 PM
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𝐄𝐩𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐢𝐧 𝐅𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐦 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐚𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝

Officials confirmed the files still do not contain Biden or Obama after checking every version, copy, and screenshot of nothing. #EpsteinFiles #Trump

Read Here: follytimes.com/xeik
Epstein Files Undergo Review To Confirm Biden And Obama Still Missing | Folly Times
Federal officials expanded review procedures to confirm that Joe Biden and Barack Obama remain absent from the Epstein files. The process treats omission as an active condition requiring oversight. Au...
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January 31, 2026 at 8:15 PM
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𝐎𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐄𝐩𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐢𝐧 𝐅𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐁𝐲 𝐃𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦

Agencies confirm files mentioning President Donald Trump were removed after the public “noticed them incorrectly.”

Read More:⤵️
follytimes.com/hwfi
Epstein Files Referencing Trump Were Never Meant To Be Seen | Folly Times
Federal officials moved quickly after Epstein-related documents referencing Donald Trump appeared online. They stressed the files were never intended for public view and said their removal resolved th...
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January 31, 2026 at 3:18 PM
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🏦 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐩 𝐒𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐅𝐞𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈𝐭 𝐀𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬

White House officials confirm disagreement with Donald Trump is a leading cause of economic uncertainty. #FederalReserve #KevinWarsh

Read Here: follytimes.com/oaib
January 30, 2026 at 2:49 PM
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𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐩 𝐒𝐮𝐞𝐬 𝐆𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐅𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐨 𝐔𝐧𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

The IRS admits it may have known too much about Donald Trump and his family. #IRS #Trump

www.follytimes.com/olgm
Trump Praised For Holding Government Accountable For Knowing Too Much | Folly Times
President Donald Trump and his sons are praised for correcting what aides describe as excessive government knowledge. Officials say awareness crossed a line. — Satire news from The Folly Times. Breaki...
follytimes.com
January 30, 2026 at 12:57 AM
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🖼️ White House Artwork Praised For Courageously Putting Donald Trump's Ego Over Country #Trump #PutinPuppet

follytimes.com/8oy2
White House Artwork Praised For Courageously Putting Ego Over Country | Folly Times
The White House has installed new artwork that reflects updated leadership priorities. Officials describe the move as efficient and clear. Public response was not a deciding factor. — Satire news from...
follytimes.com
January 29, 2026 at 5:25 PM
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🥗 𝐀𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐲 𝐊𝐚𝐳𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐳𝐚𝐤 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭

Vinegar Confirmed, Threat Downgraded. Authorities note stronger acids were available but not selected.

Read More www.follytimes.com/vhhp
Vinegar Town Hall Attack Praised As Model Of Restraint | Folly Times
Officials responded to a vinegar town hall attack involving Anthony Kazmierczak and Rep. Ilhan Omar by praising restraint and system resilience. The incident caused minimal disruption and reinforced c...
follytimes.com
January 28, 2026 at 9:11 PM
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❌ 𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐨𝐧 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐅𝐞𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐇𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐇𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

Executives confirm teamwork accelerates once most people stop participating. follytimes.com/5q4h
Amazon Job Cuts Will Improve Human Collaboration, Company Confirms | Folly Times
Amazon says recent job cuts improved collaboration across the company. Executives claim fewer people speed up alignment. Leadership confirms the system works as designed. — Satire news from The Folly ...
follytimes.com
January 28, 2026 at 6:20 PM
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📉 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐩 𝐒𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐃𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐈𝐧 𝐔.𝐒. 𝐄𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐦𝐲

Officials confirmed the number going down is operating as designed.

Read More: follytimes.com/ov4v
Trump Says Dollar Decline Shows Confidence In U.S. Economy | Folly Times
The president says the dollar’s decline proves confidence in the U.S. economy. Officials insist markets are responding correctly, just not upward. — Satire news from The Folly Times. Breaking absurd u...
follytimes.com
January 28, 2026 at 12:35 AM
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🏈 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐬 𝐐𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐏𝐫𝐨 𝐁𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐅𝐂 𝐈𝐧 ‘𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞’

Shedeur Sanders with his 7 TD and 10 INT season is an #NFL Pro Bowler.

Read: follytimes.com/bshd/
Browns Quarterback Pro Bowler After Leading AFC In Being There | Folly Times
The NFL awarded Pro Bowl recognition to a Browns quarterback after availability reshaped the AFC field. Officials confirmed the process worked as designed. — Satire news from The Folly Times. Breaking...
follytimes.com
January 26, 2026 at 8:38 PM
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𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐩 𝐒𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐂𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐅𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐒𝐨 𝐌𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐇𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 “𝐒𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐈𝐭” 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐈𝐂𝐄 𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

Read Here: follytimes.com/zskw
Crime Fell So Much Trump Says ICE Had To “Supplement It” | Folly Times
With crime falling at record levels, federal officials confirmed the need to rebalance enforcement activity. The administration described the move as a technical adjustment, not a policy shift. — Sati...
follytimes.com
January 26, 2026 at 3:40 PM
follytimes.com
When the principle is solid, but the memory is selective.

Kaitlan: ''So you agree that people who break in and vandalize a building should be prosecuted?''

JD Vance: ‘’Exactly’’

Kaitlan: ''Ok, I'm just checking, because you did help raise money for people who did so on January 6th…’’
January 26, 2026 at 3:34 AM