Bryan
@flyinglobster.bsky.social
Runner of many streets, editor, sometimes photographer, former journo. Probably stuck under one or more cats.
I don’t envy historians of the mid-22nd century trying to parse our weird cultural context. Ostensibly they’re the same, but James and the Giant Peach and James and the Giant 🍑 would be wildly different books.
November 7, 2025 at 4:53 PM
I don’t envy historians of the mid-22nd century trying to parse our weird cultural context. Ostensibly they’re the same, but James and the Giant Peach and James and the Giant 🍑 would be wildly different books.
A kid showed up to our house in a Philadelphia Parking Authority hat and fleece jacket, and I told him he was officially the scariest costume of the night.
November 1, 2025 at 12:37 AM
A kid showed up to our house in a Philadelphia Parking Authority hat and fleece jacket, and I told him he was officially the scariest costume of the night.
Got served a hideously obvious AI-generated ad on YouTube, and that shit is so deep in the uncanny valley, it’s breathtaking. And wholly repellent, obviously. Can’t wait for more companies to start destroying their brands with this garbage!
October 27, 2025 at 5:54 PM
Got served a hideously obvious AI-generated ad on YouTube, and that shit is so deep in the uncanny valley, it’s breathtaking. And wholly repellent, obviously. Can’t wait for more companies to start destroying their brands with this garbage!
My favorite janky SEPTA text-to-speech misses are “Hermit” pronounced like the verb form of “permit” and the backward emphasis that results in “lee-HIGH.”
October 23, 2025 at 1:22 PM
My favorite janky SEPTA text-to-speech misses are “Hermit” pronounced like the verb form of “permit” and the backward emphasis that results in “lee-HIGH.”
Teen™️ landed in Poland today for an exchange trip, and on the drive from Warsaw to the city where they’re staying, the group made a pit stop at a rest area with a KFC. So yeah, kid’s first experience with KFC is in Eastern Europe, just as one would expect.
October 14, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Teen™️ landed in Poland today for an exchange trip, and on the drive from Warsaw to the city where they’re staying, the group made a pit stop at a rest area with a KFC. So yeah, kid’s first experience with KFC is in Eastern Europe, just as one would expect.
The real name of the Giants’ current lead running back is Cam Skittlebrau, and you cannot convince me otherwise.
October 10, 2025 at 4:04 PM
The real name of the Giants’ current lead running back is Cam Skittlebrau, and you cannot convince me otherwise.
This morning’s 5K featured a Route 48 bus giving no fucks about road closures, a lead pair cutting the course and a road-raging idiot who “didn’t see any signs” while trying to drive the active course.
And I took the crown of King of the Oldheads (and 4th overall behind the youths).
And I took the crown of King of the Oldheads (and 4th overall behind the youths).
October 4, 2025 at 6:02 PM
This morning’s 5K featured a Route 48 bus giving no fucks about road closures, a lead pair cutting the course and a road-raging idiot who “didn’t see any signs” while trying to drive the active course.
And I took the crown of King of the Oldheads (and 4th overall behind the youths).
And I took the crown of King of the Oldheads (and 4th overall behind the youths).
Game-ending NOBLETIGER, most excellent work, Yankees.
October 1, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Game-ending NOBLETIGER, most excellent work, Yankees.
As a duly designated representative of the Talls, it never fails to amaze me how tiny Terry Gross is in person.
September 30, 2025 at 5:47 PM
As a duly designated representative of the Talls, it never fails to amaze me how tiny Terry Gross is in person.
“Einstein discovered that e equals mc two, right?”
“MC squared, yup, dude, that’s right. Energy equals mass times the speed of light squared.”
“For grownups, I bet that means, ‘energy equals more coffee.’”
“MC squared, yup, dude, that’s right. Energy equals mass times the speed of light squared.”
“For grownups, I bet that means, ‘energy equals more coffee.’”
September 22, 2025 at 12:47 AM
“Einstein discovered that e equals mc two, right?”
“MC squared, yup, dude, that’s right. Energy equals mass times the speed of light squared.”
“For grownups, I bet that means, ‘energy equals more coffee.’”
“MC squared, yup, dude, that’s right. Energy equals mass times the speed of light squared.”
“For grownups, I bet that means, ‘energy equals more coffee.’”
“Aren’t unicorns technically just land narwhals?” - deep thoughts from Li’l E
September 17, 2025 at 12:01 AM
“Aren’t unicorns technically just land narwhals?” - deep thoughts from Li’l E
There’s a guy in the office in a Royals hat, but he’s an outside contractor, so I’m pretty sure I don’t have to clear it with HR before we fling him off a seventh-story open-air walkway. #gobirds
September 4, 2025 at 4:19 PM
There’s a guy in the office in a Royals hat, but he’s an outside contractor, so I’m pretty sure I don’t have to clear it with HR before we fling him off a seventh-story open-air walkway. #gobirds
Working on my JUDGE BREDD spec script as we speak.
August 30, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Working on my JUDGE BREDD spec script as we speak.
West Mount Airy is the weirdest damn part of Philly. Just slap a Norman French village in there, why not?
August 27, 2025 at 11:18 PM
West Mount Airy is the weirdest damn part of Philly. Just slap a Norman French village in there, why not?
The best part about having kids is that the 1900s happened shortly after the fall of the Roman Empire to them. To wit, today, Li’l E hit me with, “The only interesting geode was the blue one. The rest of them were just black and white, like a picture from the ‘90s.”
August 24, 2025 at 11:22 PM
The best part about having kids is that the 1900s happened shortly after the fall of the Roman Empire to them. To wit, today, Li’l E hit me with, “The only interesting geode was the blue one. The rest of them were just black and white, like a picture from the ‘90s.”
Ran into the Naked Bike Ride walking home with L’il E, and I gave him the brief (ha!) explanation of the event. He looks at the pack of cyclists coming at us and notes, “Well, at least *that* guy’s wearing pants. Oh, wait, he’s not.”
August 23, 2025 at 9:27 PM
Ran into the Naked Bike Ride walking home with L’il E, and I gave him the brief (ha!) explanation of the event. He looks at the pack of cyclists coming at us and notes, “Well, at least *that* guy’s wearing pants. Oh, wait, he’s not.”
Woman next to me at the park was making a lengthy TikTok that was equal parts tent revival religious and LinkedIn inspirational. “I’m just watching the sunset with my kids, taking it all in.” She has now watched her own video seven times.
August 19, 2025 at 11:46 PM
Woman next to me at the park was making a lengthy TikTok that was equal parts tent revival religious and LinkedIn inspirational. “I’m just watching the sunset with my kids, taking it all in.” She has now watched her own video seven times.
Still have another week-plus before I have to dial it back a little, but my summer of being that weird guy in running gear on SEPTA before dawn has pushed me to over half the city down (including that insane Oxford Avenue squiggle that required two near-perfectly timed transfers to pull off).
August 7, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Still have another week-plus before I have to dial it back a little, but my summer of being that weird guy in running gear on SEPTA before dawn has pushed me to over half the city down (including that insane Oxford Avenue squiggle that required two near-perfectly timed transfers to pull off).
That is a helluva place to chop the subject line, Gmail.
July 19, 2025 at 9:22 PM
That is a helluva place to chop the subject line, Gmail.
Apparently a seaplane put down in the Schuylkill around Sweet Briar earlier, and somehow this doesn’t even crack the 100 craziest things for 2025.
July 18, 2025 at 6:10 PM
Apparently a seaplane put down in the Schuylkill around Sweet Briar earlier, and somehow this doesn’t even crack the 100 craziest things for 2025.
One of the downsides to cycling to work is that, inevitably, summer will deliver a three-shower day at some point. Today was that day. Hoping it’s the only one for a bit.
July 17, 2025 at 1:34 AM
One of the downsides to cycling to work is that, inevitably, summer will deliver a three-shower day at some point. Today was that day. Hoping it’s the only one for a bit.
At some point, I gotta write an honest parenting manual, and chapter 1 is just gonna be titled Emergency Mac & Cheese (with the acknowledgment that “emergency” is a big fuckin’ tent indeed).
July 16, 2025 at 1:02 AM
At some point, I gotta write an honest parenting manual, and chapter 1 is just gonna be titled Emergency Mac & Cheese (with the acknowledgment that “emergency” is a big fuckin’ tent indeed).
If you’re not throwing horns and headbanging along to the appropriate section of Bohemian Rhapsody while waiting for your food at 5 Guys and in the process giving your 16-year-old a terminal case of public embarrassment, are you even parenting at all?
June 22, 2025 at 12:20 PM
If you’re not throwing horns and headbanging along to the appropriate section of Bohemian Rhapsody while waiting for your food at 5 Guys and in the process giving your 16-year-old a terminal case of public embarrassment, are you even parenting at all?
Gonna go start a fourth-wave ska band with Bernese mountain dogs on the horns, call it Reel Big Floof.
June 17, 2025 at 5:41 PM
Gonna go start a fourth-wave ska band with Bernese mountain dogs on the horns, call it Reel Big Floof.
Had to drop Teen™️ off at 30th Street so he could catch Amtrak for a school trip/competition, and we weren’t 5 feet inside the doors before he all but physically booted me to the street so I wouldn’t be seen. Kids, man.
June 9, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Had to drop Teen™️ off at 30th Street so he could catch Amtrak for a school trip/competition, and we weren’t 5 feet inside the doors before he all but physically booted me to the street so I wouldn’t be seen. Kids, man.