Do you think the priest drinks the baptism water afterwards?

I like to get back on dating apps immediately after major sociopolitical events. That way I know right away, y’know?

I want a docu-series about the most popular YouTubers from 2006 having to enter the regular workforce. Just people like iJustine interviewing for Jamba Juice. ZeFrank working in a State Farm call center.

‘Becky’ is short for ‘Breakfast’

Came to bluesky after a year thinking maybe it sucks less and found this. Hey @bsky.app…what? For the profile pic? Wasn’t aware that a centimeter of flesh was sexually suggestive or that it warrants blurring my profile image

I posted this a year and a half ago and this friend has since doubled down and told me I am like the costanza of our friendship and I just don’t know what I did to be perceived this way

My favorite part of Insidious: The Red Door is when Patrick Wilson ate a spoonful of raw, dry oats straight from an oatmeal packet and was clearly having a bad time trying to get it down before saying his next line

Is it bad if guys immediately give me the Ick when they’re too much like me? Let’s examine that (let’s not)

I take a lot of my fashion inspo from bees

Celebrated our founding fathers by eating curry that would’ve easily made every last one of them shit themselves to death

I like to think that if I grit my teeth and audibly make an “eeeeeeeeeeeee” noise as I try to squeeze my car into a tight spot, I’ll be untouchable

I would live exclusively in jumpsuits and onesies if it weren’t for all the shid and piss

A good friend told me that the Disney character(s) I’m most like are the gargoyles from hunchback, and like, he’s not wrong, but let me tell you, I was not prepared to hear that

What should my first skeet be