Evil Ray
@evilray.bsky.social
• Pronouns, this motherfucker/that motherfucker.
• If I were an animal I'd be a human.
• Largely non-toxic.
• If I were an animal I'd be a human.
• Largely non-toxic.
Pinned
Evil Ray
@evilray.bsky.social
· Dec 27
Don't tell the others but you're my favo(u)rite.
So the wig thief says to the judge, he says, "I didn't want toupee."
November 20, 2025 at 12:58 PM
So the wig thief says to the judge, he says, "I didn't want toupee."
This afternoon on Out Of Context Theater:
"I'm currently living in an Airbnb that smells like lavender and other people's choices, but it's peaceful."
"I'm currently living in an Airbnb that smells like lavender and other people's choices, but it's peaceful."
November 19, 2025 at 9:45 PM
This afternoon on Out Of Context Theater:
"I'm currently living in an Airbnb that smells like lavender and other people's choices, but it's peaceful."
"I'm currently living in an Airbnb that smells like lavender and other people's choices, but it's peaceful."
Walmart's gone from Walton Goggins to Dr. Suess' Whos from Whoville as spokesbeings. This has given me severe pop cultural whiplash...
November 19, 2025 at 9:23 PM
Walmart's gone from Walton Goggins to Dr. Suess' Whos from Whoville as spokesbeings. This has given me severe pop cultural whiplash...
So Dale says to Roy, she says, "Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?"
November 19, 2025 at 4:21 PM
So Dale says to Roy, she says, "Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?"
So the Angolite librarian says to the guy, he says, "It has its prose and cons."
November 18, 2025 at 11:27 AM
So the Angolite librarian says to the guy, he says, "It has its prose and cons."
So Sir Cumference says to the Questing Beast, he says, "Too much π."
November 17, 2025 at 11:41 AM
So Sir Cumference says to the Questing Beast, he says, "Too much π."
The pornograph was invented by Swiss engineer Jaques Mehoff in 1869. Early models where were powered by a hand crank.
November 16, 2025 at 11:16 AM
The pornograph was invented by Swiss engineer Jaques Mehoff in 1869. Early models where were powered by a hand crank.
So the used record store clerk says to the guy, she says, "All sales are vinyl."
November 16, 2025 at 11:15 AM
So the used record store clerk says to the guy, she says, "All sales are vinyl."
I'm so mean I once shot myself for snoring.
November 15, 2025 at 3:17 PM
I'm so mean I once shot myself for snoring.
So the museum ship tour guide says to the group, she says, "Please keep your voices down, this is a place of warship."
November 15, 2025 at 1:13 PM
So the museum ship tour guide says to the group, she says, "Please keep your voices down, this is a place of warship."
So the police detective says to the spatchcocker, she says, "We suspect fowl play."
November 14, 2025 at 11:24 AM
So the police detective says to the spatchcocker, she says, "We suspect fowl play."
This afternoon on Out Of Context Theater:
"When you're wearing rose colored glasses red flags just look like flags."
"When you're wearing rose colored glasses red flags just look like flags."
November 13, 2025 at 10:20 PM
This afternoon on Out Of Context Theater:
"When you're wearing rose colored glasses red flags just look like flags."
"When you're wearing rose colored glasses red flags just look like flags."
So Wally/Waldo says to Carmen, he says, "Because I don't want to be spotted."
November 13, 2025 at 10:20 PM
So Wally/Waldo says to Carmen, he says, "Because I don't want to be spotted."
So the Earthwoman says to the Vegan, she says, "Almond milk? That's just nuts!"
November 12, 2025 at 10:24 AM
So the Earthwoman says to the Vegan, she says, "Almond milk? That's just nuts!"
The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
November 11, 2025 at 6:04 PM
The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.