Evan Nichols
@evannichols.bsky.social
Writer. Ex-IT Professional. Progressive. Diurnal. Fond of Unicorns and Penguins. He/Him
#PSA - Disco Fever can be treated with antibiotics, but Saturday Night Fever requires antivirals.
#ForBoogieFeverJustDanceItOut #TheMoreYouKnow
#ForBoogieFeverJustDanceItOut #TheMoreYouKnow
December 3, 2025 at 8:02 PM
#PSA - Disco Fever can be treated with antibiotics, but Saturday Night Fever requires antivirals.
#ForBoogieFeverJustDanceItOut #TheMoreYouKnow
#ForBoogieFeverJustDanceItOut #TheMoreYouKnow
December 2, 2025 at 6:11 PM
December 2, 2025 at 1:57 AM
I wish our Senators and Congresspersons wanted to do the right thing as passionately as Avi Loeb wants interstellar comets to be aliens.
#IfWishesWereSpaceships
#IfWishesWereSpaceships
November 11, 2025 at 9:00 PM
I wish our Senators and Congresspersons wanted to do the right thing as passionately as Avi Loeb wants interstellar comets to be aliens.
#IfWishesWereSpaceships
#IfWishesWereSpaceships
#ModernSolution - Everyone should put their street address on their house right above where packages are delivered so the proof-of-delivery photos show exactly what address they were delivered to.
#Genius
#Genius
November 9, 2025 at 10:06 PM
#ModernSolution - Everyone should put their street address on their house right above where packages are delivered so the proof-of-delivery photos show exactly what address they were delivered to.
#Genius
#Genius
I'll remember Dick Cheney as a heartless cyborg, kept alive at the end by Science and his insatiable drive to spread evil in the world.
#WillNotBeMissed
#WillNotBeMissed
November 4, 2025 at 5:26 PM
I'll remember Dick Cheney as a heartless cyborg, kept alive at the end by Science and his insatiable drive to spread evil in the world.
#WillNotBeMissed
#WillNotBeMissed
The news that Dick Cheney is dead does not make me mad.
November 4, 2025 at 4:19 PM
The news that Dick Cheney is dead does not make me mad.
#PressRelease - Going forward, he will be known as The Windsor Formerly Known As Prince Andrew.
#NoActualPunishmentTho
#NoActualPunishmentTho
October 30, 2025 at 11:37 PM
#PressRelease - Going forward, he will be known as The Windsor Formerly Known As Prince Andrew.
#NoActualPunishmentTho
#NoActualPunishmentTho
What if T-Rexs had poetry and they would bellow mournful poems about how having to eat other dinosaurs made them really sad?
#EmoRex
#DespondentApexPredator
#EmoRex
#DespondentApexPredator
October 26, 2025 at 6:36 PM
What if T-Rexs had poetry and they would bellow mournful poems about how having to eat other dinosaurs made them really sad?
#EmoRex
#DespondentApexPredator
#EmoRex
#DespondentApexPredator
Now might be the time to open a small shop specializing in Guillotine Sales and Service.
#FreeSharpeningForATerm
#FreeSharpeningForATerm
October 25, 2025 at 4:09 PM
Now might be the time to open a small shop specializing in Guillotine Sales and Service.
#FreeSharpeningForATerm
#FreeSharpeningForATerm
So sad every time I hear that someone from my past has died because that’s one less person on whom I can get revenge.
#AtLeastTheyWillBurnInHell
#SomeConsolation
#AtLeastTheyWillBurnInHell
#SomeConsolation
October 20, 2025 at 8:58 PM
So sad every time I hear that someone from my past has died because that’s one less person on whom I can get revenge.
#AtLeastTheyWillBurnInHell
#SomeConsolation
#AtLeastTheyWillBurnInHell
#SomeConsolation
Imagine being on an ocean liner and the captain has decided to scuttle it so it’s sinking and you and half the other passengers are actively trying to warn everyone and save it and the other half are mocking them for it.
#ItsAMetaphor
#FuckYouMAGAAssholes
#ItsAMetaphor
#FuckYouMAGAAssholes
October 19, 2025 at 7:32 PM
Imagine being on an ocean liner and the captain has decided to scuttle it so it’s sinking and you and half the other passengers are actively trying to warn everyone and save it and the other half are mocking them for it.
#ItsAMetaphor
#FuckYouMAGAAssholes
#ItsAMetaphor
#FuckYouMAGAAssholes
Q: What's the difference between chillin' and illin'?
A: ch
#FunniestJokeOfTheYearContender
#TellThisJokeToYourKids
A: ch
#FunniestJokeOfTheYearContender
#TellThisJokeToYourKids
October 14, 2025 at 6:26 PM
Q: What's the difference between chillin' and illin'?
A: ch
#FunniestJokeOfTheYearContender
#TellThisJokeToYourKids
A: ch
#FunniestJokeOfTheYearContender
#TellThisJokeToYourKids
If you’re bothered by pronouns, immigrants and LGBTQ people, you can take direct action to make the world a better place by learning compassion for people who aren’t like you!
#YouMightLikeBeingABetterPerson
#YouMightLikeBeingABetterPerson
October 12, 2025 at 7:52 PM
If you’re bothered by pronouns, immigrants and LGBTQ people, you can take direct action to make the world a better place by learning compassion for people who aren’t like you!
#YouMightLikeBeingABetterPerson
#YouMightLikeBeingABetterPerson
October 11, 2025 at 3:29 AM
Seems that if you want to win a #NobelPeacePrize, it’s better to be an anti-fascist rather than a mendacious fascist autocrat.
#JustSaying #HeWontLearnTho 🏅
#JustSaying #HeWontLearnTho 🏅
October 10, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Seems that if you want to win a #NobelPeacePrize, it’s better to be an anti-fascist rather than a mendacious fascist autocrat.
#JustSaying #HeWontLearnTho 🏅
#JustSaying #HeWontLearnTho 🏅
#FunFact – Stephen Miller looks like the sort of person who would be convicted in a war-crimes tribunal!
#True #JustLookAtHim
#True #JustLookAtHim
October 9, 2025 at 7:38 PM
#FunFact – Stephen Miller looks like the sort of person who would be convicted in a war-crimes tribunal!
#True #JustLookAtHim
#True #JustLookAtHim
October 8, 2025 at 8:32 PM
October 7th is National Taco Day! If you're wondering what to have for lunch and dinner, I have a suggestion...
🌮 🌮 🌮 🌮 🌮 🌮
🌮 🌮 🌮 🌮 🌮 🌮
October 7, 2025 at 6:25 PM
October 7th is National Taco Day! If you're wondering what to have for lunch and dinner, I have a suggestion...
🌮 🌮 🌮 🌮 🌮 🌮
🌮 🌮 🌮 🌮 🌮 🌮
I suspect that the delightful nuance of my Smurf humor will not be fully appreciated during my lifetime.
#IWillBeFamousInTheFuture #PosthumosFame
#IWillBeFamousInTheFuture #PosthumosFame
October 6, 2025 at 4:31 PM
I suspect that the delightful nuance of my Smurf humor will not be fully appreciated during my lifetime.
#IWillBeFamousInTheFuture #PosthumosFame
#IWillBeFamousInTheFuture #PosthumosFame
#TwitFic - After he was bitten by Accursed Smurf, at every Blue Moon he would transform into... a WereSmurf!
#SmurfyHorror
#SmurfyHorror
October 6, 2025 at 1:54 PM
#TwitFic - After he was bitten by Accursed Smurf, at every Blue Moon he would transform into... a WereSmurf!
#SmurfyHorror
#SmurfyHorror
#FunFact – The “I was just following orders” defense was first used by Peter von Hagenbach in 1474 when on trial for atrocities. He was found guilty and beheaded!
#FoodForThought #CouldBeModernParallels
#FoodForThought #CouldBeModernParallels
October 5, 2025 at 4:19 PM
#FunFact – The “I was just following orders” defense was first used by Peter von Hagenbach in 1474 when on trial for atrocities. He was found guilty and beheaded!
#FoodForThought #CouldBeModernParallels
#FoodForThought #CouldBeModernParallels
We need a political party who will represent the 99% because they’re not funded by dark money from the 1%.
#BigMoneyOutOfPolitics #FeelFreeToStepUpDemocrats
#BigMoneyOutOfPolitics #FeelFreeToStepUpDemocrats
October 2, 2025 at 6:37 PM
We need a political party who will represent the 99% because they’re not funded by dark money from the 1%.
#BigMoneyOutOfPolitics #FeelFreeToStepUpDemocrats
#BigMoneyOutOfPolitics #FeelFreeToStepUpDemocrats
What we're learning from the Riyadh Comedy Festival is that a bunch of comedians actually don't mind suppression of their free speech if someone gives them a big bag of money.
#MoneyOverMorals #VenalThyNameIsComedian
#MoneyOverMorals #VenalThyNameIsComedian
October 1, 2025 at 7:33 PM
What we're learning from the Riyadh Comedy Festival is that a bunch of comedians actually don't mind suppression of their free speech if someone gives them a big bag of money.
#MoneyOverMorals #VenalThyNameIsComedian
#MoneyOverMorals #VenalThyNameIsComedian
If I had three Genie Wishes, I’d totally spend one wishing that I could make people smarter by punching them because there’s a whole lotta people who need upgrading.
#PunchThemUntilTheyUnderstandHowGovernmentWorks
#FunForEverybody
#PunchThemUntilTheyUnderstandHowGovernmentWorks
#FunForEverybody
September 27, 2025 at 5:03 PM
If I had three Genie Wishes, I’d totally spend one wishing that I could make people smarter by punching them because there’s a whole lotta people who need upgrading.
#PunchThemUntilTheyUnderstandHowGovernmentWorks
#FunForEverybody
#PunchThemUntilTheyUnderstandHowGovernmentWorks
#FunForEverybody