eugene
@eugene290390.bsky.social
And I must not forget, we must not forget, that we are human beings.
George W. Bush Celebrates No Longer Having Launched Dumbest War in U.S. History
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
George W. Bush Celebrates No Longer Having Launched Dumbest War in U.S. History
CRAWFORD, TEXAS (The Borowitz Report)—Stating, “I never dreamed this day would come,” former President George W.
open.substack.com
January 7, 2026 at 1:26 AM
George W. Bush Celebrates No Longer Having Launched Dumbest War in U.S. History
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Trump Cuts Ticket Prices at Kennedy Center 5000%
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com
January 1, 2026 at 12:36 PM
Trump Cuts Ticket Prices at Kennedy Center 5000%
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
He Kept Me Sane This Year
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
He Kept Me Sane This Year
And that wasn’t easy.
open.substack.com
December 30, 2025 at 12:23 PM
He Kept Me Sane This Year
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Trump was one of Epstein's main procurers...their "falling out" was when women were "stolen": "He took people, I say 'don't do it anymore', you know they work for me... beyond that, he took some others, once he did that, that was the end of him."
Notably, one of these was the late Virginia Giuffre.
Notably, one of these was the late Virginia Giuffre.
December 28, 2025 at 11:40 PM
Trump was one of Epstein's main procurers...their "falling out" was when women were "stolen": "He took people, I say 'don't do it anymore', you know they work for me... beyond that, he took some others, once he did that, that was the end of him."
Notably, one of these was the late Virginia Giuffre.
Notably, one of these was the late Virginia Giuffre.
Bari Weiss Declares CBS Will Have Zero Tolerance for News
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Bari Weiss Declares CBS Will Have Zero Tolerance for News
“Someone tried to slip some news into this past Sunday’s episode of ‘60 Minutes,’” Weiss said. “Fortunately, I was able to catch it in time.”
open.substack.com
December 24, 2025 at 12:16 PM
Bari Weiss Declares CBS Will Have Zero Tolerance for News
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
The Best Political Cartoons of 2025
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
The Best Political Cartoons of 2025
From a two-time Pulitzer winner.
open.substack.com
December 23, 2025 at 1:47 PM
The Best Political Cartoons of 2025
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
The Best Thing That Happened in 2025
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
The Best Thing That Happened in 2025
A genuine cause for celebration.
open.substack.com
December 22, 2025 at 12:18 PM
The Best Thing That Happened in 2025
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Borders can only have one of two possible functions...to keep people in...or to keep people out.
In either case, our most fundamental freedom, that of movement, is fatally injured.
In the first, it enables nothing less than slavery.
In the latter, it is rationalization of nothing less than bigotry.
In either case, our most fundamental freedom, that of movement, is fatally injured.
In the first, it enables nothing less than slavery.
In the latter, it is rationalization of nothing less than bigotry.
December 21, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Borders can only have one of two possible functions...to keep people in...or to keep people out.
In either case, our most fundamental freedom, that of movement, is fatally injured.
In the first, it enables nothing less than slavery.
In the latter, it is rationalization of nothing less than bigotry.
In either case, our most fundamental freedom, that of movement, is fatally injured.
In the first, it enables nothing less than slavery.
In the latter, it is rationalization of nothing less than bigotry.
The Mahabharata is an amazing epic whose story is a tapestry woven from thousands of interconnected threads.
At its center is the Bhagavad Gita, the singularity whose essential revelation is that these thousands of threads are but the smallest strands amidst the uncountable and unfathomable.
At its center is the Bhagavad Gita, the singularity whose essential revelation is that these thousands of threads are but the smallest strands amidst the uncountable and unfathomable.
December 21, 2025 at 10:02 PM
The Mahabharata is an amazing epic whose story is a tapestry woven from thousands of interconnected threads.
At its center is the Bhagavad Gita, the singularity whose essential revelation is that these thousands of threads are but the smallest strands amidst the uncountable and unfathomable.
At its center is the Bhagavad Gita, the singularity whose essential revelation is that these thousands of threads are but the smallest strands amidst the uncountable and unfathomable.
I thought MAGA was allergic to black....
December 21, 2025 at 5:08 PM
I thought MAGA was allergic to black....
If this were really his "memorial" we could forgive the outrage!
December 19, 2025 at 9:41 PM
If this were really his "memorial" we could forgive the outrage!
Biden Eagerly Anticipating Jake Tapper’s Book About Trump’s Mental Decline
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Biden Eagerly Anticipating Jake Tapper’s Book About Trump’s Mental Decline
“Jake must be writing one helluva long book," the former president said.
open.substack.com
December 17, 2025 at 12:12 PM
Biden Eagerly Anticipating Jake Tapper’s Book About Trump’s Mental Decline
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Republicans Finally Unveil Healthcare Plan: ‘Americans Must Move to Canada’
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Republicans Finally Unveil Healthcare Plan: ‘Americans Must Move to Canada’
“Under this plan, the American people will receive full access to the doctors, hospitals, and medications they deserve,” House Speaker Mike Johnson declared.
open.substack.com
December 15, 2025 at 12:22 PM
Republicans Finally Unveil Healthcare Plan: ‘Americans Must Move to Canada’
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Hegseth Seizes Scottish Tanker Carrying Whiskey
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Hegseth Seizes Scottish Tanker Carrying Whiskey
“Despite my repeated demands, the tanker refused to deliver its cargo to me,” Hegseth said.
open.substack.com
December 12, 2025 at 12:38 AM
Hegseth Seizes Scottish Tanker Carrying Whiskey
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
The Land of the Free, Part 2
www.theguardian.com/global-devel...
www.theguardian.com/global-devel...
Meta shuts down global accounts linked to abortion advice and queer content
More than 50 organisations report sites being restricted or removed, with abortion hotlines blocked and posts showing non-explicit nudity triggering warnings
www.theguardian.com
December 11, 2025 at 1:43 PM
The Land of the Free, Part 2
www.theguardian.com/global-devel...
www.theguardian.com/global-devel...
The Land of the Free
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
Tourists to US would have to reveal five years of social media activity under new Trump plan
Plan would apply to countries not currently required to get visas to the US, including Britain and France
www.theguardian.com
December 11, 2025 at 1:42 PM
The Land of the Free
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
Trump Enraged After Gold Paint Peels off FIFA Peace Prize
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Trump Enraged After Gold Paint Peels Off FIFA Peace Prize
The incident sent Trump into a fury, White House sources revealed.
open.substack.com
December 11, 2025 at 12:22 PM
Trump Enraged After Gold Paint Peels off FIFA Peace Prize
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Immigrants Say They Have Been Scared Away From US by Kristi Noem’s Face
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Immigrants Say They Have Been Scared Away From US by Kristi Noem’s Face
DHS touted Noem’s face as the nation's number one weapon against immigration.
open.substack.com
December 10, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Immigrants Say They Have Been Scared Away From US by Kristi Noem’s Face
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Profile in Awfulness: Tom Cotton
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Profile in Awfulness: Tom Cotton
The senator from Arkansas is a firehose of lies.
open.substack.com
December 9, 2025 at 12:36 PM
Profile in Awfulness: Tom Cotton
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Hegseth Orders Strike on Notorious Drug Traffickers
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Hegseth Orders Strike on Notorious Drug Traffickers
The narcoterrorists were posing as seven stranded castaways.
open.substack.com
December 8, 2025 at 12:14 PM
Hegseth Orders Strike on Notorious Drug Traffickers
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Somalis Express No Interest in Immigrating to Country with Shithole President
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Somalis Express No Interest in Immigrating to Country with Shithole President
“When I travel abroad, I don’t have to be embarrassed when people ask me where I’m from," one Somali said.
open.substack.com
December 4, 2025 at 12:27 PM
Somalis Express No Interest in Immigrating to Country with Shithole President
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Trump Boasts That International Criminal Court in The Hague Has Invited Him to Receive Award
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Trump Boasts That International Criminal Court in The Hague Has Invited Him to Receive Award
“They said it was in response to things I’ve done as president,” Trump told reporters.
open.substack.com
December 3, 2025 at 12:16 PM
Trump Boasts That International Criminal Court in The Hague Has Invited Him to Receive Award
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Snopes rated true!
And this is one of the main reasons why we will never see anything near the complete files, they've all been scrubbed clean or destroyed.
Nearly 1000 agents, looking for any mention of Trump...for months on months.
www.snopes.com/fact-check/f...
And this is one of the main reasons why we will never see anything near the complete files, they've all been scrubbed clean or destroyed.
Nearly 1000 agents, looking for any mention of Trump...for months on months.
www.snopes.com/fact-check/f...
FBI paid nearly $1M in overtime to redact Epstein files, documents show
Bloomberg reporter Jason Leopold sued the FBI and DOJ for the files as part of a Freedom of Information Act request.
www.snopes.com
December 2, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Snopes rated true!
And this is one of the main reasons why we will never see anything near the complete files, they've all been scrubbed clean or destroyed.
Nearly 1000 agents, looking for any mention of Trump...for months on months.
www.snopes.com/fact-check/f...
And this is one of the main reasons why we will never see anything near the complete files, they've all been scrubbed clean or destroyed.
Nearly 1000 agents, looking for any mention of Trump...for months on months.
www.snopes.com/fact-check/f...
Dozy Don: A Pictorial History
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Dozy Don: A Pictorial History
Years of snoozing on the job.
open.substack.com
December 2, 2025 at 12:32 PM
Dozy Don: A Pictorial History
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...