Errai
@errai.bsky.social
from me the dragon / bf @sumiaou.bsky.social / errai.tf
(showing the guy working at the deli counter that I set him as my emergency contact) I would trust you with my life
Deli guy: I will protect it as my own
Deli guy: I will protect it as my own
February 4, 2026 at 5:10 AM
(showing the guy working at the deli counter that I set him as my emergency contact) I would trust you with my life
Deli guy: I will protect it as my own
Deli guy: I will protect it as my own
Photos from tonight's walk home
February 4, 2026 at 3:45 AM
Photos from tonight's walk home
(passive-aggressive akkadian forum moderator) don't make me tap the stele
February 3, 2026 at 7:27 PM
(passive-aggressive akkadian forum moderator) don't make me tap the stele
Me: I feel like you guys only hang out with me because I release gas that gets you high when you squeeze me
My friend: (wrapping arm around me a little too tight) what are you talking about lol we love you man
His girlfriend: Give him a hug
My friend: (wrapping arm around me a little too tight) what are you talking about lol we love you man
His girlfriend: Give him a hug
February 3, 2026 at 6:01 AM
Me: I feel like you guys only hang out with me because I release gas that gets you high when you squeeze me
My friend: (wrapping arm around me a little too tight) what are you talking about lol we love you man
His girlfriend: Give him a hug
My friend: (wrapping arm around me a little too tight) what are you talking about lol we love you man
His girlfriend: Give him a hug
Lovely walk after the snow
February 3, 2026 at 2:24 AM
Lovely walk after the snow
Know how I always have to repeat to you what I tell the nurses? What if they're actually objects turned into people by a wizard but they revert to props when they step outside
Doctor: lmao dude
Doctor: So any chance you can take that warding amulet off
Me: no
Doctor: right on
Doctor: lmao dude
Doctor: So any chance you can take that warding amulet off
Me: no
Doctor: right on
February 3, 2026 at 1:14 AM
Know how I always have to repeat to you what I tell the nurses? What if they're actually objects turned into people by a wizard but they revert to props when they step outside
Doctor: lmao dude
Doctor: So any chance you can take that warding amulet off
Me: no
Doctor: right on
Doctor: lmao dude
Doctor: So any chance you can take that warding amulet off
Me: no
Doctor: right on
Lovecraft: hey check out these horrors (holds crayon drawing of a big squid)
Friend: I don't get it
Lovecraft: exactlyyy
Friend: I don't get it
Lovecraft: exactlyyy
February 2, 2026 at 8:03 PM
Lovecraft: hey check out these horrors (holds crayon drawing of a big squid)
Friend: I don't get it
Lovecraft: exactlyyy
Friend: I don't get it
Lovecraft: exactlyyy
They discovered lost media on Mars
February 2, 2026 at 6:57 PM
They discovered lost media on Mars
Me: I know my rights. I want my phone call
(the agents look at each other and reluctantly agree)
(dialing sex line number) hey beautiful what r u wearing
(the agents look at each other and reluctantly agree)
(dialing sex line number) hey beautiful what r u wearing
February 2, 2026 at 5:42 AM
Me: I know my rights. I want my phone call
(the agents look at each other and reluctantly agree)
(dialing sex line number) hey beautiful what r u wearing
(the agents look at each other and reluctantly agree)
(dialing sex line number) hey beautiful what r u wearing
(twitch streamer on deathbed) my only tier list of regrets is...
February 1, 2026 at 3:16 PM
(twitch streamer on deathbed) my only tier list of regrets is...
(training my kung fu disciple but he's visibly kicking my ass) Too slow. Focus (straight jab in the face) Predictable (getting suplexed) Sloppy
February 1, 2026 at 5:58 AM
(training my kung fu disciple but he's visibly kicking my ass) Too slow. Focus (straight jab in the face) Predictable (getting suplexed) Sloppy
Bounce light / Fire escape
February 1, 2026 at 12:58 AM
Bounce light / Fire escape
Tennis player that grunts whenever he sends a work email
February 1, 2026 at 12:24 AM
Tennis player that grunts whenever he sends a work email
(calling my lawyer) is horny jail real
January 31, 2026 at 4:10 AM
(calling my lawyer) is horny jail real
Reposted by Errai
Emergency exits are a comforting sign that you're nearing the end of an emergency
June 26, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Emergency exits are a comforting sign that you're nearing the end of an emergency
(excitedly showing Transformers to bartender) and this one actually turns into a dinosaur
Bartender: (with a dazzling smile) form meets function!
Guy sitting nearby: (slamming whiskey glass down) those are evil Autobots and I'm sick of people praising them
Bartender: (with a dazzling smile) form meets function!
Guy sitting nearby: (slamming whiskey glass down) those are evil Autobots and I'm sick of people praising them
January 31, 2026 at 12:08 AM
(excitedly showing Transformers to bartender) and this one actually turns into a dinosaur
Bartender: (with a dazzling smile) form meets function!
Guy sitting nearby: (slamming whiskey glass down) those are evil Autobots and I'm sick of people praising them
Bartender: (with a dazzling smile) form meets function!
Guy sitting nearby: (slamming whiskey glass down) those are evil Autobots and I'm sick of people praising them
(before the proverb was invented) I wish I knew what to do with all these goddamn lemons
January 30, 2026 at 6:23 PM
(before the proverb was invented) I wish I knew what to do with all these goddamn lemons
(writing in my diary) today was inconsequential to my mission
January 30, 2026 at 6:28 AM
(writing in my diary) today was inconsequential to my mission
Mosquito 1: I still can't shake the feeling that maybe we're inherently evil
Mosquito 2: (pausing blood sucking) Listen pal, we've been over this. There's no such thing as absolute sin or virtue. It's all relative
Mosquito 2: (pausing blood sucking) Listen pal, we've been over this. There's no such thing as absolute sin or virtue. It's all relative
January 29, 2026 at 8:27 PM
Mosquito 1: I still can't shake the feeling that maybe we're inherently evil
Mosquito 2: (pausing blood sucking) Listen pal, we've been over this. There's no such thing as absolute sin or virtue. It's all relative
Mosquito 2: (pausing blood sucking) Listen pal, we've been over this. There's no such thing as absolute sin or virtue. It's all relative
(catching up with my psychotic friend over dinner) So, any new theories lately
January 29, 2026 at 2:58 AM
(catching up with my psychotic friend over dinner) So, any new theories lately
(imparting the 10 commandments through a time machine) thou shalt n- hold on.. (distant) yeah.. no pepperoni for me, thanks. Ok I'm back
Moses: What is "pepperoni", God?
Me: Don't worry about it
Moses: May I try "pepperoni?"
Me: Thou shalt not covet! Absolutely no coveting!!
Moses: What is "pepperoni", God?
Me: Don't worry about it
Moses: May I try "pepperoni?"
Me: Thou shalt not covet! Absolutely no coveting!!
January 28, 2026 at 10:57 PM
(imparting the 10 commandments through a time machine) thou shalt n- hold on.. (distant) yeah.. no pepperoni for me, thanks. Ok I'm back
Moses: What is "pepperoni", God?
Me: Don't worry about it
Moses: May I try "pepperoni?"
Me: Thou shalt not covet! Absolutely no coveting!!
Moses: What is "pepperoni", God?
Me: Don't worry about it
Moses: May I try "pepperoni?"
Me: Thou shalt not covet! Absolutely no coveting!!
