end times bacon
@endtimesbacon.bsky.social
FBI agents were told to flag any Epstein records with the word mushroom
Pinned
Due to rising tariffs, Trump bibles will only have 1 Corinthian.
“Give at least $100,000 and the President will personally give you cancer.“
February 13, 2026 at 3:46 AM
“Give at least $100,000 and the President will personally give you cancer.“
El Paso Airport temporarily closed, while Sean Duffy tries to take back high score on Donkey Kong.
February 11, 2026 at 8:54 PM
El Paso Airport temporarily closed, while Sean Duffy tries to take back high score on Donkey Kong.
Gallup, Inc. changes logo to a horse hiding behind a tree.
February 11, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Gallup, Inc. changes logo to a horse hiding behind a tree.
Republicans would dominate the Olympics, if there was an event for carrying water.
February 10, 2026 at 7:54 PM
Republicans would dominate the Olympics, if there was an event for carrying water.
RFK Jr says it was a young intern that looks like him who suggested keto could cure schizophrenia.
February 7, 2026 at 8:00 PM
RFK Jr says it was a young intern that looks like him who suggested keto could cure schizophrenia.
Lara Trump will sing during Super Bowl halftime show, unless NFL gives President one billion dollars.
February 6, 2026 at 9:27 PM
Lara Trump will sing during Super Bowl halftime show, unless NFL gives President one billion dollars.
New York Times: It was unclear if Mr. Vance was aware the couch did not have a human vagina.
February 6, 2026 at 6:02 PM
New York Times: It was unclear if Mr. Vance was aware the couch did not have a human vagina.
RFK Jr claims schizophrenia can be cured by drinking Dr Pepper at 10, 2 and 3:14.
February 6, 2026 at 2:28 PM
RFK Jr claims schizophrenia can be cured by drinking Dr Pepper at 10, 2 and 3:14.
“If they say I should be on Mt. Rushmore, that just means I made some lives better without shooting too many people.”
February 6, 2026 at 11:53 AM
“If they say I should be on Mt. Rushmore, that just means I made some lives better without shooting too many people.”
“Instead of being locked up, he could be scrubbing my kitchen.”
February 6, 2026 at 2:51 AM
“Instead of being locked up, he could be scrubbing my kitchen.”
HHS is making an AI tool to generate hypotheses on how vaccines killed JFK.
February 4, 2026 at 2:03 PM
HHS is making an AI tool to generate hypotheses on how vaccines killed JFK.
Senate powerhouse Mitch McConnell rushed to hospital after showing human emotions.
February 4, 2026 at 1:13 AM
Senate powerhouse Mitch McConnell rushed to hospital after showing human emotions.
Trump cancels Super Bowl for next two years during much needed renovations.
February 3, 2026 at 11:16 PM
Trump cancels Super Bowl for next two years during much needed renovations.
President wants to hold the midterms in Venezuela, where he can ensure their integrity.
February 3, 2026 at 6:35 PM
President wants to hold the midterms in Venezuela, where he can ensure their integrity.
To stay fit while lowering energy prices, Dr. Oz suggests seniors ride exercise bikes hooked in to the power grid.
February 3, 2026 at 5:47 PM
To stay fit while lowering energy prices, Dr. Oz suggests seniors ride exercise bikes hooked in to the power grid.
President says America will close for two years.
February 2, 2026 at 2:00 AM
President says America will close for two years.
Border Czar Tom Homan says ICE raids in Minnesota will only target residents and visitors of Minnesota.
January 29, 2026 at 4:16 PM
Border Czar Tom Homan says ICE raids in Minnesota will only target residents and visitors of Minnesota.
JD Vance says video clearly shows Minnesota protester was trying to run over CBP agents with his phone.
January 25, 2026 at 1:40 AM
JD Vance says video clearly shows Minnesota protester was trying to run over CBP agents with his phone.
DHS claims protester was using dangerous camera filter.
January 25, 2026 at 12:06 AM
DHS claims protester was using dangerous camera filter.
DHS says man shot by federal agents was standing near gun.
January 24, 2026 at 5:38 PM
DHS says man shot by federal agents was standing near gun.
Thankfully, the five-year-old did not accidentally smile at ICE.
January 23, 2026 at 5:03 PM
Thankfully, the five-year-old did not accidentally smile at ICE.
Everyone does not want to know.
January 23, 2026 at 12:22 PM
Everyone does not want to know.
Trump's Board of Peace to hold first meeting at Berlin State Opera during Jan 28 performance of Tosca.
January 22, 2026 at 2:06 PM
Trump's Board of Peace to hold first meeting at Berlin State Opera during Jan 28 performance of Tosca.
“Obviously, we’re not Nazis. Our uniforms are green.”
January 21, 2026 at 12:56 AM
“Obviously, we’re not Nazis. Our uniforms are green.”
Supreme Court announces John Roberts didn’t see his shadow today, so six more weeks of authoritarianism.
January 20, 2026 at 9:36 PM
Supreme Court announces John Roberts didn’t see his shadow today, so six more weeks of authoritarianism.