Emery Emery
@emeryemeryii.bsky.social
I'm a filmmaker and stand-up comedian. I'm known for "The Aristocrats" "Science Friction" and dirty jokes.
Today is national pet day. So make sure you get into some heavy petting.
April 11, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Today is national pet day. So make sure you get into some heavy petting.
Wouldn't it be nice if in the United States everybody agreed one night per year, every light would be turned off so we could see the sky in its natural state?
This idea came to me after watching Astro Alexandra's TikTok.
www.tiktok.com/t/ZT2GKhSVB/
This idea came to me after watching Astro Alexandra's TikTok.
www.tiktok.com/t/ZT2GKhSVB/
See the universe at @BigBendFarFlung … the Bug Bend region is one of the best places for stargazing and astrophotography in the WORLD. Finally see the Milky Way galaxy! #ad
TikTok video by ASTRO ALEXANDRA 🪐
www.tiktok.com
March 21, 2025 at 11:57 PM
Wouldn't it be nice if in the United States everybody agreed one night per year, every light would be turned off so we could see the sky in its natural state?
This idea came to me after watching Astro Alexandra's TikTok.
www.tiktok.com/t/ZT2GKhSVB/
This idea came to me after watching Astro Alexandra's TikTok.
www.tiktok.com/t/ZT2GKhSVB/
Can someone please explain this post to me?
February 26, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Can someone please explain this post to me?
First they came for the leftists, and I spoke out— then they arrested and killed me.
February 15, 2025 at 11:02 PM
First they came for the leftists, and I spoke out— then they arrested and killed me.
The definition of insanity is believing an example is a definition. In fact, if you think the previous sentence is a definition, I'm sorry, you are insane.
January 31, 2025 at 8:02 AM
The definition of insanity is believing an example is a definition. In fact, if you think the previous sentence is a definition, I'm sorry, you are insane.
Do you know what's insane? Believing an example is a definition.
January 31, 2025 at 7:46 AM
Do you know what's insane? Believing an example is a definition.
Wouldn't a zombie apocalypse be perfect right about now?
January 30, 2025 at 9:22 AM
Wouldn't a zombie apocalypse be perfect right about now?
I waited nearly 2 years to post this. Now everyone is going to say "too late".
January 23, 2025 at 9:13 PM
I waited nearly 2 years to post this. Now everyone is going to say "too late".
Our government did this.
January 19, 2025 at 5:09 AM
Our government did this.
I'm going to start a band called "For Lease". Just think of all the free advertising.
January 16, 2025 at 9:53 PM
I'm going to start a band called "For Lease". Just think of all the free advertising.
Why don't they make the entire house out of chimney material?
January 13, 2025 at 5:21 AM
Why don't they make the entire house out of chimney material?
Luigi Mangione should be sentenced to American healthcare without the possibility of appeal.
January 12, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Luigi Mangione should be sentenced to American healthcare without the possibility of appeal.
I wonder if the homeless are watching all this and thinking, "We sure picked the right time to not have a house"
January 12, 2025 at 1:59 AM
I wonder if the homeless are watching all this and thinking, "We sure picked the right time to not have a house"
If Trump deports 20 million illegals, who’s going to rebuild Los Angles?
January 11, 2025 at 9:17 PM
If Trump deports 20 million illegals, who’s going to rebuild Los Angles?
To all my friends and family who are worried about me. God is watching out for me because he made me too poor to live anywhere near the wildfires.
January 8, 2025 at 9:48 PM
To all my friends and family who are worried about me. God is watching out for me because he made me too poor to live anywhere near the wildfires.
I guess if you're gonna eat the rich first, you have to cook the rich.
January 8, 2025 at 5:12 AM
I guess if you're gonna eat the rich first, you have to cook the rich.
My memory is so bad I often forget how bad my memory is.
January 5, 2025 at 11:17 PM
My memory is so bad I often forget how bad my memory is.
I'm just gonna say it, Chris Hanson has a hard on for pedophiles.
January 5, 2025 at 1:27 AM
I'm just gonna say it, Chris Hanson has a hard on for pedophiles.
Why is my brain always trying to make me fat?
December 30, 2024 at 7:21 AM
Why is my brain always trying to make me fat?
I have never broken a New Year's resolution. When I was 13, I made my first and only New Year's resolution to never make another New Year's resolution.
December 29, 2024 at 8:03 PM
I have never broken a New Year's resolution. When I was 13, I made my first and only New Year's resolution to never make another New Year's resolution.
Is there anyone wrestling with imposter syndrome who actually is an impostor?
December 21, 2024 at 10:56 PM
Is there anyone wrestling with imposter syndrome who actually is an impostor?
Not you, Magic Johnson.
STAY POSITIVE!
December 18, 2024 at 2:18 AM
Not you, Magic Johnson.
The one time I met an incel, I made the embarrassing mistake of saying, "It's fine, you do you".
December 12, 2024 at 5:33 PM
The one time I met an incel, I made the embarrassing mistake of saying, "It's fine, you do you".
Tomorrow, Thursday night at the Improv if you'd like to see me do some comedy joke words.
improv.com/hollywood/ev...
improv.com/hollywood/ev...
December 12, 2024 at 4:16 AM
Tomorrow, Thursday night at the Improv if you'd like to see me do some comedy joke words.
improv.com/hollywood/ev...
improv.com/hollywood/ev...
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December 10, 2024 at 5:14 AM
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