Me when the barista precisely follows my stupid instructions
November 25, 2025 at 5:41 PM
Me when the barista precisely follows my stupid instructions
"When dealing with adversity (the doorbell rang), persistence is key (runaway)."
- Cat proverb
- Cat proverb
November 23, 2025 at 5:46 PM
"When dealing with adversity (the doorbell rang), persistence is key (runaway)."
- Cat proverb
- Cat proverb
Choose 3 contacts out your phone that will protect you. The rest will try to kill you.
November 23, 2025 at 3:29 AM
Choose 3 contacts out your phone that will protect you. The rest will try to kill you.
I love when I get a little report card from my energy company. Really makes me want to do better in my community by killing fucking billionaires 💕
November 20, 2025 at 11:17 PM
I love when I get a little report card from my energy company. Really makes me want to do better in my community by killing fucking billionaires 💕
Merry Christmas
November 20, 2025 at 11:15 PM
Merry Christmas
Walking into Discount Tire like
November 18, 2025 at 7:56 PM
Walking into Discount Tire like
God this must be so funny if you're fucking retarded
November 14, 2025 at 4:05 AM
God this must be so funny if you're fucking retarded
November 7, 2025 at 8:51 PM
Fucking over people talking on speakerphone in public.
Imma start saying my piece in the convo. I didn't ask to be a part of this, but Imma say something if you making me.
Imma start saying my piece in the convo. I didn't ask to be a part of this, but Imma say something if you making me.
November 6, 2025 at 4:42 PM
Fucking over people talking on speakerphone in public.
Imma start saying my piece in the convo. I didn't ask to be a part of this, but Imma say something if you making me.
Imma start saying my piece in the convo. I didn't ask to be a part of this, but Imma say something if you making me.
October 28, 2025 at 9:20 PM
Every coming-to-america story by white grandpas: "I snuck onto the boat and a nice family pretended I was their son when we got to Ellis Island"
The embarrassing descendants of that grandpa: "tHeY cAmE hErE iLlEgAlLy"
The embarrassing descendants of that grandpa: "tHeY cAmE hErE iLlEgAlLy"
October 25, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Every coming-to-america story by white grandpas: "I snuck onto the boat and a nice family pretended I was their son when we got to Ellis Island"
The embarrassing descendants of that grandpa: "tHeY cAmE hErE iLlEgAlLy"
The embarrassing descendants of that grandpa: "tHeY cAmE hErE iLlEgAlLy"
"Nobody wants to work anymore."
Yeah. That fucker stole $300 million from us to make a royalty play room.
I'm not really motivated to do my best rn
#trump #whitehouse #ballroom #letthemeatcake
Yeah. That fucker stole $300 million from us to make a royalty play room.
I'm not really motivated to do my best rn
#trump #whitehouse #ballroom #letthemeatcake
October 25, 2025 at 4:15 AM
"Nobody wants to work anymore."
Yeah. That fucker stole $300 million from us to make a royalty play room.
I'm not really motivated to do my best rn
#trump #whitehouse #ballroom #letthemeatcake
Yeah. That fucker stole $300 million from us to make a royalty play room.
I'm not really motivated to do my best rn
#trump #whitehouse #ballroom #letthemeatcake
Scribbling over a sign that helps people escape sex trafficking to sloppily dunk on Democrats?
I've never seen anything more poetically Republican.
#fuckrepublicans #fucknazis #fuckpedophiles #fucktrafficking
I've never seen anything more poetically Republican.
#fuckrepublicans #fucknazis #fuckpedophiles #fucktrafficking
October 21, 2025 at 12:37 AM
Scribbling over a sign that helps people escape sex trafficking to sloppily dunk on Democrats?
I've never seen anything more poetically Republican.
#fuckrepublicans #fucknazis #fuckpedophiles #fucktrafficking
I've never seen anything more poetically Republican.
#fuckrepublicans #fucknazis #fuckpedophiles #fucktrafficking
Gettin slobby knobby at hobby lobby
October 20, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Gettin slobby knobby at hobby lobby
Really kind of Balkanized countries to split the country name.
"Well, we're a bit left on the map, so we'll just take the first half of the word and you'll take the second half, fair?"
"Well, we're a bit left on the map, so we'll just take the first half of the word and you'll take the second half, fair?"
October 18, 2025 at 11:13 AM
Really kind of Balkanized countries to split the country name.
"Well, we're a bit left on the map, so we'll just take the first half of the word and you'll take the second half, fair?"
"Well, we're a bit left on the map, so we'll just take the first half of the word and you'll take the second half, fair?"
All basket no eggs
October 10, 2025 at 1:58 AM
All basket no eggs
Disco Elysium out here teaching me words I thought I knew
October 8, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Disco Elysium out here teaching me words I thought I knew
Me: I love eating macroplastics
Them: you'd be surprised how much is in your blood
SO: ...guys, he said MACROplastics
Me: one LEGO a day, like a vitamin
Them: you'd be surprised how much is in your blood
SO: ...guys, he said MACROplastics
Me: one LEGO a day, like a vitamin
October 6, 2025 at 5:31 PM
Me: I love eating macroplastics
Them: you'd be surprised how much is in your blood
SO: ...guys, he said MACROplastics
Me: one LEGO a day, like a vitamin
Them: you'd be surprised how much is in your blood
SO: ...guys, he said MACROplastics
Me: one LEGO a day, like a vitamin
"Taylor is obsessed with numbers!"
You know who else was obsessed with numbers?
Euler.
His numbers may have been imaginary, but his love for them was not.
You know who else was obsessed with numbers?
Euler.
His numbers may have been imaginary, but his love for them was not.
October 6, 2025 at 12:08 PM
"Taylor is obsessed with numbers!"
You know who else was obsessed with numbers?
Euler.
His numbers may have been imaginary, but his love for them was not.
You know who else was obsessed with numbers?
Euler.
His numbers may have been imaginary, but his love for them was not.
October 6, 2025 at 12:06 PM
Does #kevinhart even do comedy anymore....or is he just a full-time advertisement fuck now?
October 5, 2025 at 11:53 PM
Does #kevinhart even do comedy anymore....or is he just a full-time advertisement fuck now?
October 1, 2025 at 1:39 AM
Imagine being such a huge turd that the government has to make laughing at your death illegal
#charliekirk
#charliekirk
September 30, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Imagine being such a huge turd that the government has to make laughing at your death illegal
#charliekirk
#charliekirk