“I wouldn’t say you’re not careful, but I wouldn’t say you’re careful” - my gf

“You have a power that needs to be checked because I sent a text I didn’t really want to” - my friend after I convinced him to text a mutual crush (spoiler alert it worked and they’re going out)

Taking out my nose ring is like someone taking out their dentures

Murkey teatballs (turkey meatballs)

British people all the time: “whilst”

Just tried to turn down the volume of the wicked movie by hitting my phone volume buttons

My gf’s coworker said we are bulldyke4bulldyke. Me a bulldyke

Gloria Gaynor leaving a passive aggressive note for her lifelong bestie who “couldn’t make it” to a big show

I sur-
got married
became aunt to your baby
traveled the world together
coped with childlessness
lost jobs
lost partners
family deaths
-vived.

Nothing to post bc I left all my tweet drafts behind.. I’ve never known greater loss..

Fave thing about getting blue sky was deactivating twitter and reading all my old tweets in my downloaded archive