Ed Wiley
@edwiley.bsky.social
Stand-up comedian. Married with 6 kids. Accidental goat farmer. Jesus follower.
https://edwileycomedy.com
https://edwileycomedy.com
As a dad raising six kids I've said "no" so many times that my face now permanently looks like I'm about to say "no"
November 18, 2025 at 1:26 AM
As a dad raising six kids I've said "no" so many times that my face now permanently looks like I'm about to say "no"
The band who sang "I would walk five hundred miles and I would walk five hundred more" is from Scotland, a country which uses the metric system, but still uses miles for road distances, which is appropriate, because no man would walk five hundred "kilometers"
November 4, 2025 at 1:28 PM
The band who sang "I would walk five hundred miles and I would walk five hundred more" is from Scotland, a country which uses the metric system, but still uses miles for road distances, which is appropriate, because no man would walk five hundred "kilometers"
Lord, give me the confidence of a child who wears a Harry Potter costume to a Baptist fall festival.
October 30, 2025 at 1:44 AM
Lord, give me the confidence of a child who wears a Harry Potter costume to a Baptist fall festival.
We have a pet rabbit named Banjo, so when I asked my wife, "Do you know anything about this controversy with Bad Bunny?", Banjo was all ears
September 29, 2025 at 1:27 PM
We have a pet rabbit named Banjo, so when I asked my wife, "Do you know anything about this controversy with Bad Bunny?", Banjo was all ears
Our rural county doesn't have trash pickup. We drive our trash miles away to the dump. But Walmart does same-day delivery to our house for free. It costs us less to buy a pack of gum than it does to throw it away. To save money, I'm having gum delivered directly to the landfill.
September 16, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Our rural county doesn't have trash pickup. We drive our trash miles away to the dump. But Walmart does same-day delivery to our house for free. It costs us less to buy a pack of gum than it does to throw it away. To save money, I'm having gum delivered directly to the landfill.
Just got an ad for an app that claims to help deal with the most normalized addiction in our society: the phone. An app to deal with phone addiction... on my phone? Fight fire with fire? App with app? Meth with meth? I don't think this will work unless the app installs on a stone tablet.
August 20, 2025 at 1:38 PM
Just got an ad for an app that claims to help deal with the most normalized addiction in our society: the phone. An app to deal with phone addiction... on my phone? Fight fire with fire? App with app? Meth with meth? I don't think this will work unless the app installs on a stone tablet.
economy's so bad my 12yo is selling his minecraft inventory on facebook marketplace
August 1, 2025 at 6:12 PM
economy's so bad my 12yo is selling his minecraft inventory on facebook marketplace
hello to everyone in a relationship who paused mid-argument to look at their phone and is now reading this
August 1, 2025 at 6:12 PM
hello to everyone in a relationship who paused mid-argument to look at their phone and is now reading this
Nothing today reminds me of my 80s childhood more than this year's Atlanta Braves
July 18, 2025 at 12:07 AM
Nothing today reminds me of my 80s childhood more than this year's Atlanta Braves
My teenage son and I walked into O'Reilly Auto Parts to buy new headlights for the van. I opened the cross-reference book hanging from the shelf. My son said, "Dad, we didn't come in here with animal skins and clubs. Use your phone." I found the lights before he did.
July 9, 2025 at 1:59 PM
My teenage son and I walked into O'Reilly Auto Parts to buy new headlights for the van. I opened the cross-reference book hanging from the shelf. My son said, "Dad, we didn't come in here with animal skins and clubs. Use your phone." I found the lights before he did.
Idea: A podcast where the hosts react to podcasts about how to start a podcast
July 9, 2025 at 1:42 PM
Idea: A podcast where the hosts react to podcasts about how to start a podcast
One of my comedian friends said I need to take more risks on stage, so in the middle of my next show I'll be buying bitcoin while also... doing standup comedy full-time
July 9, 2025 at 1:42 PM
One of my comedian friends said I need to take more risks on stage, so in the middle of my next show I'll be buying bitcoin while also... doing standup comedy full-time
Hello, my name is Ed Wiley and I do standup comedy professionally. Here is a clip of me doing that. Thank you for your time.
www.youtube.com/shorts/TSKks...
www.youtube.com/shorts/TSKks...
The Dollar General Experience is unmatched #standup #comedy #funny #dollargeneral
YouTube video by Ed Wiley
www.youtube.com
June 9, 2025 at 1:55 PM
Hello, my name is Ed Wiley and I do standup comedy professionally. Here is a clip of me doing that. Thank you for your time.
www.youtube.com/shorts/TSKks...
www.youtube.com/shorts/TSKks...
Top 5 American Pope Predictions
5. Popemobile races Talladega but they call it Masscar
4. Cameo on Real Nuns of Atlanta
3. Wears Jordans when issuing a papal bull
2. Decrees that offerings now include copays
1. Celebrates DoorDAsh Wednesday w/Chick-fil-A to Vatican (extra sauce for Swiss Guards)
5. Popemobile races Talladega but they call it Masscar
4. Cameo on Real Nuns of Atlanta
3. Wears Jordans when issuing a papal bull
2. Decrees that offerings now include copays
1. Celebrates DoorDAsh Wednesday w/Chick-fil-A to Vatican (extra sauce for Swiss Guards)
May 9, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Top 5 American Pope Predictions
5. Popemobile races Talladega but they call it Masscar
4. Cameo on Real Nuns of Atlanta
3. Wears Jordans when issuing a papal bull
2. Decrees that offerings now include copays
1. Celebrates DoorDAsh Wednesday w/Chick-fil-A to Vatican (extra sauce for Swiss Guards)
5. Popemobile races Talladega but they call it Masscar
4. Cameo on Real Nuns of Atlanta
3. Wears Jordans when issuing a papal bull
2. Decrees that offerings now include copays
1. Celebrates DoorDAsh Wednesday w/Chick-fil-A to Vatican (extra sauce for Swiss Guards)
On a positive note, maybe the tariffs will give Dollar General some time to get everything unpacked
May 7, 2025 at 2:17 AM
On a positive note, maybe the tariffs will give Dollar General some time to get everything unpacked
walmart curbside employee: hello sir how are you today, are you okay with the substitutions
me: am i being detained
walmart employee: it does have that energy doesn't it
me: am i being detained
walmart employee: it does have that energy doesn't it
April 28, 2025 at 1:56 AM
walmart curbside employee: hello sir how are you today, are you okay with the substitutions
me: am i being detained
walmart employee: it does have that energy doesn't it
me: am i being detained
walmart employee: it does have that energy doesn't it
teaching teenagers to drive is like showing your grandma how to use her phone camera, except if she does it wrong, everyone gets whiplash
April 27, 2025 at 4:35 AM
teaching teenagers to drive is like showing your grandma how to use her phone camera, except if she does it wrong, everyone gets whiplash
8 out of 10 Americans use social media every day. Be careful to not look up from your phone, or you might make eye contact with the 2 out of 10 judging you.
April 24, 2025 at 1:06 AM
8 out of 10 Americans use social media every day. Be careful to not look up from your phone, or you might make eye contact with the 2 out of 10 judging you.
we're not pentecostal, but every time another one of our kids reads harry potter they run around the house with a stick speaking in tongues
April 23, 2025 at 2:47 AM
we're not pentecostal, but every time another one of our kids reads harry potter they run around the house with a stick speaking in tongues
We attended a large Easter pageant put on at an area high school by local churches. One scene had live baby goats. But the goats started crying, then a baby in the audience starting crying... 1/2
April 19, 2025 at 3:23 AM
We attended a large Easter pageant put on at an area high school by local churches. One scene had live baby goats. But the goats started crying, then a baby in the audience starting crying... 1/2
UPS: your packages are neatly stacked on the doorstep
FedEx: your packages are in your chimney and your neighbor's tree
Postal Service: your packages are permanently in Jacksonville, FL
FedEx: your packages are in your chimney and your neighbor's tree
Postal Service: your packages are permanently in Jacksonville, FL
April 16, 2025 at 3:44 AM
UPS: your packages are neatly stacked on the doorstep
FedEx: your packages are in your chimney and your neighbor's tree
Postal Service: your packages are permanently in Jacksonville, FL
FedEx: your packages are in your chimney and your neighbor's tree
Postal Service: your packages are permanently in Jacksonville, FL
In the last week:
- Our oldest goat died
- We were all bedridden with covid
- A possum gave birth in our trash can
This feels like the Lord telling me to launch a country music career
- Our oldest goat died
- We were all bedridden with covid
- A possum gave birth in our trash can
This feels like the Lord telling me to launch a country music career
April 12, 2025 at 10:49 PM
In the last week:
- Our oldest goat died
- We were all bedridden with covid
- A possum gave birth in our trash can
This feels like the Lord telling me to launch a country music career
- Our oldest goat died
- We were all bedridden with covid
- A possum gave birth in our trash can
This feels like the Lord telling me to launch a country music career
After being bedridden with covid for a few days, it's great to check in on social media and see it remains 99.9% hot garbage
April 11, 2025 at 2:28 AM
After being bedridden with covid for a few days, it's great to check in on social media and see it remains 99.9% hot garbage
not sure how to tell y'all this true story, but last night a possum gave birth in our trash can, promising what i can only assume is six more weeks of tariffs
April 7, 2025 at 2:17 PM
not sure how to tell y'all this true story, but last night a possum gave birth in our trash can, promising what i can only assume is six more weeks of tariffs
if my kids ask what the 90s were like i'm gonna show them my 401k
April 7, 2025 at 4:51 AM
if my kids ask what the 90s were like i'm gonna show them my 401k