Phill Cook
@drphillc.bsky.social
Elder statesman of underachievement; brand ambassador for laziness; case study in evolutionary dead ends.
Someone once told me I "sound like a fucking Wurzel". This pleased me.
Someone once told me I "sound like a fucking Wurzel". This pleased me.
Joys of parenthood #53:
Going to sit on the toilet then, just after you've passed the stooping point of no return, glancng down to see a puddle of wee has been left on the seat.
Allegedly.
Going to sit on the toilet then, just after you've passed the stooping point of no return, glancng down to see a puddle of wee has been left on the seat.
Allegedly.
November 19, 2025 at 8:25 AM
Joys of parenthood #53:
Going to sit on the toilet then, just after you've passed the stooping point of no return, glancng down to see a puddle of wee has been left on the seat.
Allegedly.
Going to sit on the toilet then, just after you've passed the stooping point of no return, glancng down to see a puddle of wee has been left on the seat.
Allegedly.
Life before smart TV: Turn on telly, watch telly.
Life after smart TV: Turn on telly. Back Home Back Back Software upgrade Shit accidentally pressed the Paramount+ button Back Back for the love of god Back Yeah, accept, whatver, Home Select input Back Back Home Back. Watch telly.
Life after smart TV: Turn on telly. Back Home Back Back Software upgrade Shit accidentally pressed the Paramount+ button Back Back for the love of god Back Yeah, accept, whatver, Home Select input Back Back Home Back. Watch telly.
November 16, 2025 at 8:15 AM
Life before smart TV: Turn on telly, watch telly.
Life after smart TV: Turn on telly. Back Home Back Back Software upgrade Shit accidentally pressed the Paramount+ button Back Back for the love of god Back Yeah, accept, whatver, Home Select input Back Back Home Back. Watch telly.
Life after smart TV: Turn on telly. Back Home Back Back Software upgrade Shit accidentally pressed the Paramount+ button Back Back for the love of god Back Yeah, accept, whatver, Home Select input Back Back Home Back. Watch telly.
So, Bond dying in No Time To Die is an issue for the continuity arc of the franchise
but
Bond being only promoted to 00 status in Casino Royale, was apparently not.
Anyway, we all know the only real Bond was Roger Moore on a sports gondola.
but
Bond being only promoted to 00 status in Casino Royale, was apparently not.
Anyway, we all know the only real Bond was Roger Moore on a sports gondola.
November 15, 2025 at 8:06 AM
So, Bond dying in No Time To Die is an issue for the continuity arc of the franchise
but
Bond being only promoted to 00 status in Casino Royale, was apparently not.
Anyway, we all know the only real Bond was Roger Moore on a sports gondola.
but
Bond being only promoted to 00 status in Casino Royale, was apparently not.
Anyway, we all know the only real Bond was Roger Moore on a sports gondola.
The approach to public infrastructure investment in the U.K. is simple.
If your project is in London, have what you need. In fact, have more. Spend what you like.
If your project is not in London, fuck off.
Nowhere exemplifies this more than the state of Exeter St Davids train station.
If your project is in London, have what you need. In fact, have more. Spend what you like.
If your project is not in London, fuck off.
Nowhere exemplifies this more than the state of Exeter St Davids train station.
November 9, 2025 at 2:38 PM
The approach to public infrastructure investment in the U.K. is simple.
If your project is in London, have what you need. In fact, have more. Spend what you like.
If your project is not in London, fuck off.
Nowhere exemplifies this more than the state of Exeter St Davids train station.
If your project is in London, have what you need. In fact, have more. Spend what you like.
If your project is not in London, fuck off.
Nowhere exemplifies this more than the state of Exeter St Davids train station.
My son's English homework is to differentiate words into verbs or nouns.
On the list: Paint, bark, brush, cook, farm.
I mean, yeah.
On the list: Paint, bark, brush, cook, farm.
I mean, yeah.
September 27, 2025 at 11:57 AM
My son's English homework is to differentiate words into verbs or nouns.
On the list: Paint, bark, brush, cook, farm.
I mean, yeah.
On the list: Paint, bark, brush, cook, farm.
I mean, yeah.
I want to do a stall at our local Sunday market. I now need to work back to what to sell.
Already plenty of food stalls. Pottery and wood things already covered too.
A friend suggested artisan mustard. It's niche. I like it.
I'm thinking carnivorous plants (this can all happen next year).
Already plenty of food stalls. Pottery and wood things already covered too.
A friend suggested artisan mustard. It's niche. I like it.
I'm thinking carnivorous plants (this can all happen next year).
September 19, 2025 at 8:40 AM
I want to do a stall at our local Sunday market. I now need to work back to what to sell.
Already plenty of food stalls. Pottery and wood things already covered too.
A friend suggested artisan mustard. It's niche. I like it.
I'm thinking carnivorous plants (this can all happen next year).
Already plenty of food stalls. Pottery and wood things already covered too.
A friend suggested artisan mustard. It's niche. I like it.
I'm thinking carnivorous plants (this can all happen next year).
A friend has cajoled me into entering the local flash fiction comp - 100 words on a theme. Classic case of she wants in (she's good) but needs a buddy for courage.
I've written nothing in 30 years and nothing good ever, if you don't count my PhD, papers, patents, etc.
1st task: Pick a pseudonym.
I've written nothing in 30 years and nothing good ever, if you don't count my PhD, papers, patents, etc.
1st task: Pick a pseudonym.
September 7, 2025 at 3:22 PM
A friend has cajoled me into entering the local flash fiction comp - 100 words on a theme. Classic case of she wants in (she's good) but needs a buddy for courage.
I've written nothing in 30 years and nothing good ever, if you don't count my PhD, papers, patents, etc.
1st task: Pick a pseudonym.
I've written nothing in 30 years and nothing good ever, if you don't count my PhD, papers, patents, etc.
1st task: Pick a pseudonym.
Just taken the dog for a walk and the consequences of this look devastating. If the oak mentioned is the obvious one, it's dead.
If this was
Arson: Wankers.
Yet another stolen motorbike abandoned and torched: Wankers.
Global warming: Nature's telling us.
www.instagram.com/p/DN037Dj2C8P/
If this was
Arson: Wankers.
Yet another stolen motorbike abandoned and torched: Wankers.
Global warming: Nature's telling us.
www.instagram.com/p/DN037Dj2C8P/
September 2, 2025 at 12:22 PM
Just taken the dog for a walk and the consequences of this look devastating. If the oak mentioned is the obvious one, it's dead.
If this was
Arson: Wankers.
Yet another stolen motorbike abandoned and torched: Wankers.
Global warming: Nature's telling us.
www.instagram.com/p/DN037Dj2C8P/
If this was
Arson: Wankers.
Yet another stolen motorbike abandoned and torched: Wankers.
Global warming: Nature's telling us.
www.instagram.com/p/DN037Dj2C8P/
There are exceptions but, in general, lawyers are trained to advise on risk and to form a narrative that supports a client's brief.
Both great skills but they don't lend themselves to action based on conviction where the client (electorate) is inconsistent and every decision risks losing votes.
Both great skills but they don't lend themselves to action based on conviction where the client (electorate) is inconsistent and every decision risks losing votes.
August 31, 2025 at 10:15 AM
There are exceptions but, in general, lawyers are trained to advise on risk and to form a narrative that supports a client's brief.
Both great skills but they don't lend themselves to action based on conviction where the client (electorate) is inconsistent and every decision risks losing votes.
Both great skills but they don't lend themselves to action based on conviction where the client (electorate) is inconsistent and every decision risks losing votes.
I'm glad Labour is buckling to Farage's dog whistle demands to report the immigration status of those accused of sexual assault.
Because if one of my family got attacked I would, of course, feel much better about it if I knew the attacker's paperwork was in order. Barely even a crime in that case.
Because if one of my family got attacked I would, of course, feel much better about it if I knew the attacker's paperwork was in order. Barely even a crime in that case.
August 5, 2025 at 9:07 PM
I'm glad Labour is buckling to Farage's dog whistle demands to report the immigration status of those accused of sexual assault.
Because if one of my family got attacked I would, of course, feel much better about it if I knew the attacker's paperwork was in order. Barely even a crime in that case.
Because if one of my family got attacked I would, of course, feel much better about it if I knew the attacker's paperwork was in order. Barely even a crime in that case.
That's it. After years of ducking, I'm rolling up my sleeves and coding.
They say the data are too hard to analyse.
I've never used Python but my PhD was ab initio modelling in C, so how hard can it be? I have a bucket load of hubris and will definitely show them who's boss by the end of the week.
They say the data are too hard to analyse.
I've never used Python but my PhD was ab initio modelling in C, so how hard can it be? I have a bucket load of hubris and will definitely show them who's boss by the end of the week.
August 5, 2025 at 6:51 PM
That's it. After years of ducking, I'm rolling up my sleeves and coding.
They say the data are too hard to analyse.
I've never used Python but my PhD was ab initio modelling in C, so how hard can it be? I have a bucket load of hubris and will definitely show them who's boss by the end of the week.
They say the data are too hard to analyse.
I've never used Python but my PhD was ab initio modelling in C, so how hard can it be? I have a bucket load of hubris and will definitely show them who's boss by the end of the week.
When you're young you're full of ambition.
Then, suddenly, you turn 50 and find yourself spending an hour sat on the bottom stair, sawing up a large corrugated cardboard box into sheets that will fit into the recycling bag using a bread knife, reflecting on the choices you made from there to here.
Then, suddenly, you turn 50 and find yourself spending an hour sat on the bottom stair, sawing up a large corrugated cardboard box into sheets that will fit into the recycling bag using a bread knife, reflecting on the choices you made from there to here.
August 4, 2025 at 3:36 PM
When you're young you're full of ambition.
Then, suddenly, you turn 50 and find yourself spending an hour sat on the bottom stair, sawing up a large corrugated cardboard box into sheets that will fit into the recycling bag using a bread knife, reflecting on the choices you made from there to here.
Then, suddenly, you turn 50 and find yourself spending an hour sat on the bottom stair, sawing up a large corrugated cardboard box into sheets that will fit into the recycling bag using a bread knife, reflecting on the choices you made from there to here.
Well done the Lionnesses. Nailbiting but brilliant. Those saves!
One grumble with the commentary at the end. Achievement as it is, no this is *not* the 1st time an England team has lifted a trophy on foreign soil.
The England Under 21s (male) won the Euro U21s just under a month ago.
One grumble with the commentary at the end. Achievement as it is, no this is *not* the 1st time an England team has lifted a trophy on foreign soil.
The England Under 21s (male) won the Euro U21s just under a month ago.
July 27, 2025 at 7:17 PM
Well done the Lionnesses. Nailbiting but brilliant. Those saves!
One grumble with the commentary at the end. Achievement as it is, no this is *not* the 1st time an England team has lifted a trophy on foreign soil.
The England Under 21s (male) won the Euro U21s just under a month ago.
One grumble with the commentary at the end. Achievement as it is, no this is *not* the 1st time an England team has lifted a trophy on foreign soil.
The England Under 21s (male) won the Euro U21s just under a month ago.
I do love a path mown through long grass.
I just do.
I just do.
July 12, 2025 at 6:25 AM
I do love a path mown through long grass.
I just do.
I just do.
Anyone else with a dog whose plan for the day is to cook themselves to death by lying on the lawm in full aun and 32 degree heat?
I've extolled the virtues of the shady terrazo hall floor next to her water bowl but she could not have been less intersted.
Door is open in case she changes her mind.
I've extolled the virtues of the shady terrazo hall floor next to her water bowl but she could not have been less intersted.
Door is open in case she changes her mind.
July 11, 2025 at 11:08 AM
Anyone else with a dog whose plan for the day is to cook themselves to death by lying on the lawm in full aun and 32 degree heat?
I've extolled the virtues of the shady terrazo hall floor next to her water bowl but she could not have been less intersted.
Door is open in case she changes her mind.
I've extolled the virtues of the shady terrazo hall floor next to her water bowl but she could not have been less intersted.
Door is open in case she changes her mind.
I don't understand the issue. Easyjet's policies are clear. If you want a bag up to size X, it's £X, Y is £Y, Z is £Z.
If you pay for size X and try to sneak in with size Y, why shouldn't they be incentivised to spot that and deal with it per the Ts&Cs?
www.theguardian.com/business/202...
If you pay for size X and try to sneak in with size Y, why shouldn't they be incentivised to spot that and deal with it per the Ts&Cs?
www.theguardian.com/business/202...
UK airport staff get bonuses for spotting easyJet oversize bags, email shows
Swissport staff at seven airports in UK and Channel Islands eligible for £1.20-a-bag payment through incentive scheme
www.theguardian.com
July 7, 2025 at 9:42 AM
I don't understand the issue. Easyjet's policies are clear. If you want a bag up to size X, it's £X, Y is £Y, Z is £Z.
If you pay for size X and try to sneak in with size Y, why shouldn't they be incentivised to spot that and deal with it per the Ts&Cs?
www.theguardian.com/business/202...
If you pay for size X and try to sneak in with size Y, why shouldn't they be incentivised to spot that and deal with it per the Ts&Cs?
www.theguardian.com/business/202...
Ok, not the most pressing of international issues right now but if you're from round my way and believe sports facilities are a useful thing, it's never too late to write to a councillor or MP.
www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol...
www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol...
Thousands demand council scraps homes plan for old athletics track
The running track is at risk of getting built on, but a debate next week will explore whether it should be saved
www.bristolpost.co.uk
July 2, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Ok, not the most pressing of international issues right now but if you're from round my way and believe sports facilities are a useful thing, it's never too late to write to a councillor or MP.
www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol...
www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol...
Our mulberry tree is small (anout 3 metres tall). It is, however, covered in fruit this year.
My luck is in. Everyone else in my household hates mulberries. Not me. I've never yet managed to top out my mulberry gluttony.
My luck is in. Everyone else in my household hates mulberries. Not me. I've never yet managed to top out my mulberry gluttony.
June 15, 2025 at 3:10 PM
Our mulberry tree is small (anout 3 metres tall). It is, however, covered in fruit this year.
My luck is in. Everyone else in my household hates mulberries. Not me. I've never yet managed to top out my mulberry gluttony.
My luck is in. Everyone else in my household hates mulberries. Not me. I've never yet managed to top out my mulberry gluttony.
I once passed Kevin Mcloud on some steps leading to Bristol Temple Meads station.
When I got to the top I put down my almond croissant to grab a photo. A seagull swooped in and stole the croissant.
I have nevet forgiven Kevin.
When I got to the top I put down my almond croissant to grab a photo. A seagull swooped in and stole the croissant.
I have nevet forgiven Kevin.
Right folks. Feeling rather down at the moment so bringing back an oldie
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
June 14, 2025 at 6:01 AM
I once passed Kevin Mcloud on some steps leading to Bristol Temple Meads station.
When I got to the top I put down my almond croissant to grab a photo. A seagull swooped in and stole the croissant.
I have nevet forgiven Kevin.
When I got to the top I put down my almond croissant to grab a photo. A seagull swooped in and stole the croissant.
I have nevet forgiven Kevin.
Just been for a run and Strava's normally relentlessly positive "Athlete Intelligence" tool has flipped me a "well, at least you tried" bird.
June 11, 2025 at 7:39 PM
Just been for a run and Strava's normally relentlessly positive "Athlete Intelligence" tool has flipped me a "well, at least you tried" bird.
If I have a skill to pass on to my son, it's stone skimming - careful selection of the right stone, the explosive whip of arm and wrist as you spin it flat across the sea.
My youth was comfortably double figures but now flab replaces strength. 7 or 8 will do. My son hit 5 - he'll best me by autumn.
My youth was comfortably double figures but now flab replaces strength. 7 or 8 will do. My son hit 5 - he'll best me by autumn.
June 1, 2025 at 12:40 PM
If I have a skill to pass on to my son, it's stone skimming - careful selection of the right stone, the explosive whip of arm and wrist as you spin it flat across the sea.
My youth was comfortably double figures but now flab replaces strength. 7 or 8 will do. My son hit 5 - he'll best me by autumn.
My youth was comfortably double figures but now flab replaces strength. 7 or 8 will do. My son hit 5 - he'll best me by autumn.
3 days into half term and I already don't know if it is going to be possible to tidy up the carnage before the start of summer hols, or if we're heading into another trash-the-house rollover.
May 28, 2025 at 6:00 PM
3 days into half term and I already don't know if it is going to be possible to tidy up the carnage before the start of summer hols, or if we're heading into another trash-the-house rollover.
As anyone gardening in or around Bristol knows, the most important taxonomic classification in plants is the subdivision into "ravaged by slugs" and "ignored by slugs".
I can confirm that cleomes are in the classification "ravaged by slugs".
I can confirm that cleomes are in the classification "ravaged by slugs".
May 26, 2025 at 6:53 PM
As anyone gardening in or around Bristol knows, the most important taxonomic classification in plants is the subdivision into "ravaged by slugs" and "ignored by slugs".
I can confirm that cleomes are in the classification "ravaged by slugs".
I can confirm that cleomes are in the classification "ravaged by slugs".
Rule 1 of woodworking club: Practice dry assembly again and again before committing to glue.
Rule 2: Practising dry assembly has fuck all influence on whether it'll fit together when you do glue.
Rule 3: More glue.
Rule 4: More clamps.
Rule 2: Practising dry assembly has fuck all influence on whether it'll fit together when you do glue.
Rule 3: More glue.
Rule 4: More clamps.
May 17, 2025 at 6:38 PM
Rule 1 of woodworking club: Practice dry assembly again and again before committing to glue.
Rule 2: Practising dry assembly has fuck all influence on whether it'll fit together when you do glue.
Rule 3: More glue.
Rule 4: More clamps.
Rule 2: Practising dry assembly has fuck all influence on whether it'll fit together when you do glue.
Rule 3: More glue.
Rule 4: More clamps.