If you’re helping because you expect thanks, you aren’t a good person.

How sad is it that after all these years, it seems like nothing has changed?

Think of how stupid the average American is and realize half of them are stupider than that. —George Carlin

$15 for a ream of paper got me fucked up.

The only thing that makes this lady feel alive seems to be struggling up the stairs in a buzzer-beater dash for the bathroom, listening to creaking 40-year-old shelves buckle while they hold up her weight, and narrowly avoiding a heart attack while she navigates the stairs.

Every Friday.

If you need June to roll around to remind you to be ally, go fuck yourself.

#pride

“It’s called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it”

I miss George Carlin.

When the hell was the Dog Warden assigned a police interceptor? Which breeds are domestic terrorists and who are illegal?

I’m proud to join the great Cyndi Lauper in the fight for women’s rights & healthcare. Go to www.bonfire.com/girlswantrights2025 to get a shirt and learn more about the #GirlsJustWantToHaveFundamentalRights Fund. @tidescommunity.bsky.social

Humans binging Tik Tok for an hour in a waiting room feels like as much of an affront to humanity as if she were smoking a cigarette in here.

“If I detect an OUNCE of ungratefulness, you WILL receive a spanking.” —Unknown mother to her three year old, while shopping the religion section.

“STOP.”

—Father of the year, to his screaming infant.