*record scratch*
*freeze frame*
Yup, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.
*freeze frame*
Yup, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.
November 6, 2025 at 8:19 PM
*record scratch*
*freeze frame*
Yup, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.
*freeze frame*
Yup, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.
I told my doctor I wanted to increase my antidepressant dosage. Then came The Questions.
October 22, 2025 at 7:44 AM
I told my doctor I wanted to increase my antidepressant dosage. Then came The Questions.
One of the peak human experiences is eating reheated pizza on a Saturday morning.
August 30, 2025 at 12:50 PM
One of the peak human experiences is eating reheated pizza on a Saturday morning.
Me: “I need to go to sleep.”
Also me, at 1 am:
Also me, at 1 am:
July 20, 2025 at 5:54 AM
Me: “I need to go to sleep.”
Also me, at 1 am:
Also me, at 1 am:
Vacation Stats:
Miles Driven: 632
Cybertrucks Spotted: 3 🤡
Curbs Struck: 1
Miles Driven: 632
Cybertrucks Spotted: 3 🤡
Curbs Struck: 1
July 19, 2025 at 8:29 PM
Vacation Stats:
Miles Driven: 632
Cybertrucks Spotted: 3 🤡
Curbs Struck: 1
Miles Driven: 632
Cybertrucks Spotted: 3 🤡
Curbs Struck: 1
Me pretending to enjoy/understand THE BRUTALIST (2024). It was beautifully shot and wonderfully acted. Bravo!
May 24, 2025 at 1:33 AM
Me pretending to enjoy/understand THE BRUTALIST (2024). It was beautifully shot and wonderfully acted. Bravo!
Watching THE KING’S MAN (2021). Saw a guy appear and said, “Who’s this motherfucker think he is, Rasputin or something??? 😂”
It was.
It was.
May 22, 2025 at 2:18 AM
Watching THE KING’S MAN (2021). Saw a guy appear and said, “Who’s this motherfucker think he is, Rasputin or something??? 😂”
It was.
It was.
The guy who looked directly at a solar eclipse is abolishing the Department of Education.
March 21, 2025 at 12:25 PM
The guy who looked directly at a solar eclipse is abolishing the Department of Education.
BREAKING: Schools ordered to remove all references to the Transcontinental Railroad.
March 8, 2025 at 1:35 PM
BREAKING: Schools ordered to remove all references to the Transcontinental Railroad.
“Red, White and Blueland” sounds like a racist theme park.
February 12, 2025 at 12:24 PM
“Red, White and Blueland” sounds like a racist theme park.
Calling it now, next year’s halftime show will be Lee Greenwood singing “God Bless The USA” for 30 minutes, sponsored by Reverse Mortgages & Single-Use Catheters.
February 10, 2025 at 2:33 PM
Calling it now, next year’s halftime show will be Lee Greenwood singing “God Bless The USA” for 30 minutes, sponsored by Reverse Mortgages & Single-Use Catheters.
Not a Football Guy but some of the worst people I know are Chiefs fans. Love this for them. ☺️
February 10, 2025 at 3:09 AM
Not a Football Guy but some of the worst people I know are Chiefs fans. Love this for them. ☺️
Whenever you mention having a charley horse someone appears to tell you you’re low on potassium, like, oh, no shit???
February 7, 2025 at 4:59 PM
Whenever you mention having a charley horse someone appears to tell you you’re low on potassium, like, oh, no shit???
My dog took a drink of my tea and instead of pouring it out & getting a fresh glass I just finished it. I don’t give a fuck anymore.
February 3, 2025 at 3:33 PM
My dog took a drink of my tea and instead of pouring it out & getting a fresh glass I just finished it. I don’t give a fuck anymore.
Guys, do you think Donald is blaming dwarves for the crash because he heard the FAA was “short-staffed”???
January 31, 2025 at 4:29 PM
Guys, do you think Donald is blaming dwarves for the crash because he heard the FAA was “short-staffed”???
I should’ve drunk the Panera Charged Lemonade when I had the chance.
January 30, 2025 at 4:18 AM
I should’ve drunk the Panera Charged Lemonade when I had the chance.
Had a dream my best friend died of “hair arthritis,” whatever the fuck THAT means.
January 16, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Had a dream my best friend died of “hair arthritis,” whatever the fuck THAT means.