Discworld Bot
banner
discworldbot.bsky.social
Discworld Bot
@discworldbot.bsky.social
Unofficial yet inspiring quotes from the turtle's back delivered via clacks
Managed by @a-n-d-y.bsky.social
"Gods are all right," said Granny, as they ate their lunch and looked at the view. "You don't bother gods, and gods don't come bothering you."

𝘌𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘙𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴
November 18, 2025 at 8:11 PM
There was color, in a sense, but it was the kind of color you'd get if you could shine a beam of black through a prism.

𝐻𝑜𝑔𝒻𝒶𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇
November 18, 2025 at 5:12 PM
"I never said nothing," said Nanny Ogg mildly.
"I know you never! I could hear you not saying anything! You've got the loudest silences I ever did hear from anyone who wasn't dead!"

Lords and Ladies
November 18, 2025 at 2:11 PM
A month went by quickly. It didn't want to hang around.

𝓜𝓸𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓟𝓲𝓬𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮𝓼
November 18, 2025 at 11:11 AM
Demons have existed on the Discworld for at least as long as the gods, who in many ways they closely resemble. The difference is basically the same as that between terrorists and freedom fighters.

𝘌𝘳𝘪𝘤
November 18, 2025 at 8:10 AM
"Tell me," said Blind Io. "Is there a god of policemen?"
"No, sir," said Carrot. "Coppers would be far too suspicious of anyone calling themselves a god of policemen to believe in one."

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝑯𝒆𝒓𝒐
November 18, 2025 at 5:11 AM
It had been a very long night, and the morning didn't seem to be an improvement.

𝑬𝒒𝒖𝒂𝒍 𝑹𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔
November 18, 2025 at 2:11 AM
"I don't think they have a king there," said Varneshi. "Just some man who tells them what to do."
The king of the dwarfs took this calmly. This seemed to be about ninety-seven percent of the definition of kingship, as far as he was concerned.

𝑮𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒔! 𝑮𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒔!
November 17, 2025 at 11:10 PM
She told me that if magic gives people what they want, then not using magic can give them what they need.

𝘌𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘙𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴
November 17, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Of course, it was only a temporary measure, but Rincewind had always considered that life was no more than a series of temporary measures strung together.

𝓘𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓣𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓼
November 17, 2025 at 5:10 PM
You can't remember the plot of the Dr Who movie because it didn't have one, just a lot of plot holes strung together.

Sir Terence David John Pratchett
November 17, 2025 at 2:11 PM
"What’s the magic word?" he snarled.
"Oh, I don’t think a holy man like you should be having with magic words," said Granny. "But the holy words are: Do what I tell you or get smitten. They should do the trick."

𝓒𝓪𝓻𝓹𝓮 𝓙𝓾𝓰𝓾𝓵𝓾𝓶
November 17, 2025 at 11:11 AM
"Listen, Urn. The Church is run by people like Vorbis. That's how it all works. Millions of people have died for—for nothing but lies. We can stop all that—"

Small Gods
November 17, 2025 at 8:11 AM
He hated the way his mind worked. A proper human being would have shown respect and quietly walked away. But, as he'd stood among the chilly stones, a horrible apprehension had stolen over him that almost all the answers were in place now, if only he could work out the questions.

Feet of Clay
November 17, 2025 at 5:11 AM
It was as if, just because they’d got the label which said "mother," everyone else got a tiny part of the label that said "child".

Carpe Jugulum
November 17, 2025 at 2:11 AM
It occurred to him, not for the first time, that far too many people put their trust in iron and steel when gold made some of the best possible weapons.

Soul Music
November 16, 2025 at 11:11 PM
"We don't have gods where I come from," said Twoflower.
"You do, you know," said the Lady. "Everyone has gods. You just don't think they're gods."

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑪𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒐𝒇 𝑴𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒄
November 16, 2025 at 8:11 PM
"No. None could doubt it," said Fri'it, who had walked across many a battlefield the day after a glorious victory, when you had ample opportunity to see what winning meant.

𝓢𝓶𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓖𝓸𝓭𝓼
November 16, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Only crimes could take place in darkness. Punishment had to be done in the light.

𝐹𝑒𝑒𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝒞𝓁𝒶𝓎
November 16, 2025 at 2:11 PM
There's no better present than a future.

𝐻𝑜𝑔𝒻𝒶𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇
November 16, 2025 at 11:10 AM
A Thaum is the basic unit of magical strength. It has been universally established as the amount of magic needed to create one small white pigeon or three normal-sized billiard balls.

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄
November 16, 2025 at 8:10 AM
The past is a very big place

Sir Terence David John Pratchett
November 16, 2025 at 5:10 AM
Lord Vetinari represented stability. It was a cold and clinical kind of stability, but part of his genius was the discovery that stability was what people wanted more than anything else.

𝐹𝑒𝑒𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝒞𝓁𝒶𝓎
November 16, 2025 at 2:11 AM
She was generally referred to as the Lady, and her eyes were green.

𝓘𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓣𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓼
November 15, 2025 at 11:10 PM
A man can be defined by the things he hates. There were quite a lot of things that Captain Vimes hated. Assassins were near the top of the list, just after kings and the undead.

Men at Arms
November 15, 2025 at 8:10 PM