Dennis Heaton
@dennisheaton.bsky.social
cannibal-in-training.
will Purge For money.
will Purge For money.
I don't pay attention to football, so right now, I'm just going to go ahead and assume that Bad Bunny beat the Seahawks.
Is that right? It sounds right.
Congrats to Bad Bunny, the NFL superbowl champion of 2026.
Is that right? It sounds right.
Congrats to Bad Bunny, the NFL superbowl champion of 2026.
February 9, 2026 at 3:21 AM
I don't pay attention to football, so right now, I'm just going to go ahead and assume that Bad Bunny beat the Seahawks.
Is that right? It sounds right.
Congrats to Bad Bunny, the NFL superbowl champion of 2026.
Is that right? It sounds right.
Congrats to Bad Bunny, the NFL superbowl champion of 2026.
Ah, the Olympics... or as I like to call them, the hunger games without the fun.
February 6, 2026 at 11:57 PM
Ah, the Olympics... or as I like to call them, the hunger games without the fun.
Look, guys. I'm not trying to be unreasonable. But if you post a riddle and
1) Don't post the answer in the comments, or
2) get the actual wording of the riddle wrong.
I think it's fair for me to feed you to pigs.
Good talk.
Also, the man's name is Andrew.
1) Don't post the answer in the comments, or
2) get the actual wording of the riddle wrong.
I think it's fair for me to feed you to pigs.
Good talk.
Also, the man's name is Andrew.
February 4, 2026 at 5:49 PM
Look, guys. I'm not trying to be unreasonable. But if you post a riddle and
1) Don't post the answer in the comments, or
2) get the actual wording of the riddle wrong.
I think it's fair for me to feed you to pigs.
Good talk.
Also, the man's name is Andrew.
1) Don't post the answer in the comments, or
2) get the actual wording of the riddle wrong.
I think it's fair for me to feed you to pigs.
Good talk.
Also, the man's name is Andrew.
I'm a reasonable guy, but if I go looking for one more movie trailer only to get inundated with a million AI-slop-narrated "Entertainment Tonight" style news reports about when the trailer may come out and what it may show, I will have to blow up the planet.
February 4, 2026 at 1:07 AM
I'm a reasonable guy, but if I go looking for one more movie trailer only to get inundated with a million AI-slop-narrated "Entertainment Tonight" style news reports about when the trailer may come out and what it may show, I will have to blow up the planet.
Now that PP is back in place, we should spitball some new slogans for him that will have staying power for the next 3 to 8 years:
Sheriff the tariff.
Blarney to Carney.
Love me, Donald.
Sheriff the tariff.
Blarney to Carney.
Love me, Donald.
January 31, 2026 at 7:50 PM
Now that PP is back in place, we should spitball some new slogans for him that will have staying power for the next 3 to 8 years:
Sheriff the tariff.
Blarney to Carney.
Love me, Donald.
Sheriff the tariff.
Blarney to Carney.
Love me, Donald.
I will officially vote for whoever promises to put Catherine O'Hara on the five dollar bill.
January 31, 2026 at 6:43 AM
I will officially vote for whoever promises to put Catherine O'Hara on the five dollar bill.
Stunned to learn that Zzyzx Road may be dethroned as the lowest performing box office movie of all time this weekend.
Hollywood truly is a dream factory.
Hollywood truly is a dream factory.
January 28, 2026 at 9:56 PM
Stunned to learn that Zzyzx Road may be dethroned as the lowest performing box office movie of all time this weekend.
Hollywood truly is a dream factory.
Hollywood truly is a dream factory.
And that's how I learned I evolved from ducks.
January 27, 2026 at 9:57 PM
And that's how I learned I evolved from ducks.
Wow. Does Mac Tahoe ever look like ass.
January 25, 2026 at 9:45 PM
Wow. Does Mac Tahoe ever look like ass.
The text on the 30 km/h sign has turned to moss.
January 14, 2026 at 6:13 AM
The text on the 30 km/h sign has turned to moss.
A new TV spot for SCREAM 7 celebrates the slasher franchise's enduring legacy, while giving a sneak peek at the upcoming sequel.
New Look At SCREAM 7 Celebrates Ghostface’s Slasher Legacy
A new TV spot for SCREAM 7 celebrates the slasher franchise's enduring legacy, while giving a sneak peek at the upcoming sequel.
dlvr.it
January 13, 2026 at 6:45 PM
January 12, 2026 at 1:27 AM
The things you learn when you're researching a script:
January 10, 2026 at 9:10 PM
The things you learn when you're researching a script:
Are we at that stage of this Dystopia yet where I can resort to cannibalism?
Because I am peckish.
Because I am peckish.
January 8, 2026 at 4:21 AM
Are we at that stage of this Dystopia yet where I can resort to cannibalism?
Because I am peckish.
Because I am peckish.
I don't know about anyone else, but the Outer Limits' episode "The Architects Of Fear" is playing on repeat in my brain these days.
January 6, 2026 at 2:30 AM
I don't know about anyone else, but the Outer Limits' episode "The Architects Of Fear" is playing on repeat in my brain these days.
I smell a Perfect Strangers reboot...
December 29, 2025 at 1:11 AM
I smell a Perfect Strangers reboot...
When your pooch finally realizes your office couch is just as comfy.
December 28, 2025 at 7:34 PM
When your pooch finally realizes your office couch is just as comfy.
With the world in a state of turmoil we haven't experienced in decades, I think there's one thing that we -- as a planet -- can all agree on:
The Hayley Mills movie THE PARENT TRAP still slaps.
The Hayley Mills movie THE PARENT TRAP still slaps.
December 28, 2025 at 1:22 AM
With the world in a state of turmoil we haven't experienced in decades, I think there's one thing that we -- as a planet -- can all agree on:
The Hayley Mills movie THE PARENT TRAP still slaps.
The Hayley Mills movie THE PARENT TRAP still slaps.
This is the greatest example of how robots will treat humanity that I have ever seen.
another robot highlight for 2025: man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls
December 27, 2025 at 6:25 PM
This is the greatest example of how robots will treat humanity that I have ever seen.