Dee Lomas
@deelomas.bsky.social
A carefully curated account of political and humorous shite. Prone to outbursts about Brexit and Tory corruption
Just realised that my emergency contact is my husband. This is the same person who can’t find his keys, the butter in the fridge, wouldn’t know his doctors name and certainly wouldn’t answer a call from an unknown number…
Hmmm!
Hmmm!
November 12, 2025 at 1:33 PM
Just realised that my emergency contact is my husband. This is the same person who can’t find his keys, the butter in the fridge, wouldn’t know his doctors name and certainly wouldn’t answer a call from an unknown number…
Hmmm!
Hmmm!
A woman was sure her husband was cheating on her with the maid so she laid a trap.
She gave the maid the weekend off without telling her husband. That night when they went to bed the husband gave the old story, “My stomach aches. I have to go to the bathroom.”
The wife promptly got into the maids
She gave the maid the weekend off without telling her husband. That night when they went to bed the husband gave the old story, “My stomach aches. I have to go to the bathroom.”
The wife promptly got into the maids
November 11, 2025 at 4:50 PM
A woman was sure her husband was cheating on her with the maid so she laid a trap.
She gave the maid the weekend off without telling her husband. That night when they went to bed the husband gave the old story, “My stomach aches. I have to go to the bathroom.”
The wife promptly got into the maids
She gave the maid the weekend off without telling her husband. That night when they went to bed the husband gave the old story, “My stomach aches. I have to go to the bathroom.”
The wife promptly got into the maids
Husband: You are negative.
Me: And you are a stubborn, arrogant, only care about yourself, insensitive and you only care about yourself.
My husband: I’m just telling you that your Covid test is negative.
Me: 👀😱
Me: And you are a stubborn, arrogant, only care about yourself, insensitive and you only care about yourself.
My husband: I’m just telling you that your Covid test is negative.
Me: 👀😱
November 11, 2025 at 9:57 AM
Husband: You are negative.
Me: And you are a stubborn, arrogant, only care about yourself, insensitive and you only care about yourself.
My husband: I’m just telling you that your Covid test is negative.
Me: 👀😱
Me: And you are a stubborn, arrogant, only care about yourself, insensitive and you only care about yourself.
My husband: I’m just telling you that your Covid test is negative.
Me: 👀😱
I love it when I’m on here with you lot and I don’t have to pretend to be a nice person.
That shit is exhausting!
That shit is exhausting!
November 11, 2025 at 9:07 AM
I love it when I’m on here with you lot and I don’t have to pretend to be a nice person.
That shit is exhausting!
That shit is exhausting!
There are an enormous number of ‘outraged’ posts from @loriagne.bsky.social and, tbh, I’m here for each and every one of them!
You go girl!!
You go girl!!
SEE HOW RIGHT WING FASCISM WORKS IN UK. OFCOM DENYING REFORM DO ANYTHING WRONG PRESENTING GB NEWS? DAMAGE IT HAS CAUSED IS ALL OVER OUR STREETS. ITS THE GO TO FOR BRAINWASHED GULLIBLE FARAGE MORONS. GET IT OFF AIR
November 10, 2025 at 7:18 PM
There are an enormous number of ‘outraged’ posts from @loriagne.bsky.social and, tbh, I’m here for each and every one of them!
You go girl!!
You go girl!!
I hate Kuenssberg. I really fucking do.
November 10, 2025 at 7:15 PM
I hate Kuenssberg. I really fucking do.
Friends…can you help???
It cannot possibly be that two reasonably intelligent adults cannot do the homework of a 7 year old child…can it?
Now, I’ve ’come up with’ 13 words but 2 of them are dubious to say the least…
It cannot possibly be that two reasonably intelligent adults cannot do the homework of a 7 year old child…can it?
Now, I’ve ’come up with’ 13 words but 2 of them are dubious to say the least…
November 10, 2025 at 6:47 PM
Friends…can you help???
It cannot possibly be that two reasonably intelligent adults cannot do the homework of a 7 year old child…can it?
Now, I’ve ’come up with’ 13 words but 2 of them are dubious to say the least…
It cannot possibly be that two reasonably intelligent adults cannot do the homework of a 7 year old child…can it?
Now, I’ve ’come up with’ 13 words but 2 of them are dubious to say the least…
If I could give you just one thing in life, it would be the ability to see yourself through my eyes.
Only then would you realise what a feckin cvnt you are…
Only then would you realise what a feckin cvnt you are…
November 10, 2025 at 2:56 PM
If I could give you just one thing in life, it would be the ability to see yourself through my eyes.
Only then would you realise what a feckin cvnt you are…
Only then would you realise what a feckin cvnt you are…
Do you think anyone has thought of sending this pair in…
👀😂
👀😂
November 10, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Do you think anyone has thought of sending this pair in…
👀😂
👀😂
Them: How do you pronounce that?
Me: What?
Them: Bourgeois…bourgeoisie
Me: With hatred…with fvcking hatred!
Me: What?
Them: Bourgeois…bourgeoisie
Me: With hatred…with fvcking hatred!
November 10, 2025 at 2:46 PM
Them: How do you pronounce that?
Me: What?
Them: Bourgeois…bourgeoisie
Me: With hatred…with fvcking hatred!
Me: What?
Them: Bourgeois…bourgeoisie
Me: With hatred…with fvcking hatred!
I’ve had a very sociable weekend and whilst I can still party like a total legend it turns out I can’t recover like one…
November 10, 2025 at 2:43 PM
I’ve had a very sociable weekend and whilst I can still party like a total legend it turns out I can’t recover like one…
On my way to the shops this morning, I spotted an albino Dalmatian.
Tbh, it was the least I could do for him…
Tbh, it was the least I could do for him…
November 10, 2025 at 2:41 PM
On my way to the shops this morning, I spotted an albino Dalmatian.
Tbh, it was the least I could do for him…
Tbh, it was the least I could do for him…
Old gals paradox #101
As I’ve aged, my eyesight has got poorer but my ability to see through other peoples bullshit has got much better…
As I’ve aged, my eyesight has got poorer but my ability to see through other peoples bullshit has got much better…
November 10, 2025 at 1:41 PM
Old gals paradox #101
As I’ve aged, my eyesight has got poorer but my ability to see through other peoples bullshit has got much better…
As I’ve aged, my eyesight has got poorer but my ability to see through other peoples bullshit has got much better…
My daughter: I need more toothpaste.
Me: okay. I’ll pick some up but it’ll have to go in your Christmas stocking…
Me: okay. I’ll pick some up but it’ll have to go in your Christmas stocking…
November 10, 2025 at 10:28 AM
My daughter: I need more toothpaste.
Me: okay. I’ll pick some up but it’ll have to go in your Christmas stocking…
Me: okay. I’ll pick some up but it’ll have to go in your Christmas stocking…
Today I learnt that the average adult drops 80-90 swear words a week.
Today, I also learnt that I’m above average at something…
Today, I also learnt that I’m above average at something…
November 9, 2025 at 9:44 PM
Today I learnt that the average adult drops 80-90 swear words a week.
Today, I also learnt that I’m above average at something…
Today, I also learnt that I’m above average at something…
Reposted by Dee Lomas
Just got my 6 monthly water bill. Useage is up 8% but the bill is up 43%!! All so we can pay - again - for the work the water companies should have been doing for the last 30 years but instead paid themselves bonuses while pouring sewage into our countryside.
Thanks Ofwat you absolute bellends.
Thanks Ofwat you absolute bellends.
November 8, 2025 at 2:58 PM
Just got my 6 monthly water bill. Useage is up 8% but the bill is up 43%!! All so we can pay - again - for the work the water companies should have been doing for the last 30 years but instead paid themselves bonuses while pouring sewage into our countryside.
Thanks Ofwat you absolute bellends.
Thanks Ofwat you absolute bellends.
Me (to my other mum friend): I’m done. I’m selling my child on eBay.
My friend: Don’t be silly. You made her. Sell her on Etsy
My friend: Don’t be silly. You made her. Sell her on Etsy
November 8, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Me (to my other mum friend): I’m done. I’m selling my child on eBay.
My friend: Don’t be silly. You made her. Sell her on Etsy
My friend: Don’t be silly. You made her. Sell her on Etsy
Them: sarcasm doesn’t get you anywhere.
Me: Well, it got me to the finals of the World Sarcasm Finals in Peru in ‘97.
Them: Really?
Me: 👀🙄
Me: Well, it got me to the finals of the World Sarcasm Finals in Peru in ‘97.
Them: Really?
Me: 👀🙄
November 7, 2025 at 6:25 PM
Them: sarcasm doesn’t get you anywhere.
Me: Well, it got me to the finals of the World Sarcasm Finals in Peru in ‘97.
Them: Really?
Me: 👀🙄
Me: Well, it got me to the finals of the World Sarcasm Finals in Peru in ‘97.
Them: Really?
Me: 👀🙄
My husband and I laugh at how competitive we both are.
But I laugh more…
But I laugh more…
November 7, 2025 at 6:23 PM
My husband and I laugh at how competitive we both are.
But I laugh more…
But I laugh more…
When you reach a certain age and the doctor says put ice on it where it hurts.
Me:
Me:
November 7, 2025 at 6:21 PM
When you reach a certain age and the doctor says put ice on it where it hurts.
Me:
Me:
My husband: Let’s go out and have some fun tonight!
Me: Okay. But if you get home before I do, leave the porch light on, please…
Me: Okay. But if you get home before I do, leave the porch light on, please…
November 7, 2025 at 6:18 PM
My husband: Let’s go out and have some fun tonight!
Me: Okay. But if you get home before I do, leave the porch light on, please…
Me: Okay. But if you get home before I do, leave the porch light on, please…
If you ask me, a worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early…
November 7, 2025 at 6:16 PM
If you ask me, a worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early…
Why would any republicans, including you steve, go to prison…unless of course you have done something illegal?
Anyway…here’s the new republican campaign slogan for 2028. Drumroll…
VOTE FOR ME OR I’LL GO TO PRISON
Sounds great, doesn’t it?
Anyway…here’s the new republican campaign slogan for 2028. Drumroll…
VOTE FOR ME OR I’LL GO TO PRISON
Sounds great, doesn’t it?
November 7, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Why would any republicans, including you steve, go to prison…unless of course you have done something illegal?
Anyway…here’s the new republican campaign slogan for 2028. Drumroll…
VOTE FOR ME OR I’LL GO TO PRISON
Sounds great, doesn’t it?
Anyway…here’s the new republican campaign slogan for 2028. Drumroll…
VOTE FOR ME OR I’LL GO TO PRISON
Sounds great, doesn’t it?
You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool which is the only true way of being cool.
This is called The Geezers Paradox.
This is called The Geezers Paradox.
November 7, 2025 at 8:02 AM
You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool which is the only true way of being cool.
This is called The Geezers Paradox.
This is called The Geezers Paradox.
What do you call a deaf gynaecologist?
A lip reader…
A lip reader…
November 6, 2025 at 9:17 PM
What do you call a deaf gynaecologist?
A lip reader…
A lip reader…