Dave Powers
@davepowers.bsky.social
Writer of code and humor.
🏠 https://davepowers.me/
🐘 https://mastodon.social/@davepowers
❌ https://twitter.com/dave_powers
🏠 https://davepowers.me/
🐘 https://mastodon.social/@davepowers
❌ https://twitter.com/dave_powers
I know people may be preoccupied with other news tonight, but I would like to humbly share that I ran a ~6:30 donut mile this evening (my first of this such event). 🍩🏃
September 11, 2025 at 12:28 AM
I know people may be preoccupied with other news tonight, but I would like to humbly share that I ran a ~6:30 donut mile this evening (my first of this such event). 🍩🏃
Reposted by Dave Powers
Imagine being named FRANK Kafka
July 20, 2025 at 1:19 AM
Imagine being named FRANK Kafka
Coldplay's Chris Martin has a rich history of philanthropy, which is why he should cover that tech CEO's forthcoming divorce attorney fees as an act of good faith.
July 18, 2025 at 1:26 AM
Coldplay's Chris Martin has a rich history of philanthropy, which is why he should cover that tech CEO's forthcoming divorce attorney fees as an act of good faith.
Halfway through my good friend’s wedding and I’ve already sweated through my Men’s Wearhouse dress shirt rental to the point that I’m concerned they will deem it a total loss.
July 6, 2025 at 12:16 AM
Halfway through my good friend’s wedding and I’ve already sweated through my Men’s Wearhouse dress shirt rental to the point that I’m concerned they will deem it a total loss.
Did you know that a major bank in America (🏦 of 🇺🇸, 👀) has a client-side validation on their appointment scheduling form to censor profanity?
(Actual results)
Before:
"Hello, I would like to move some assets"
After:
"####o, I would like to move some ###ets"
What other terms are banned, you ask?
(Actual results)
Before:
"Hello, I would like to move some assets"
After:
"####o, I would like to move some ###ets"
What other terms are banned, you ask?
June 24, 2025 at 1:24 PM
Did you know that a major bank in America (🏦 of 🇺🇸, 👀) has a client-side validation on their appointment scheduling form to censor profanity?
(Actual results)
Before:
"Hello, I would like to move some assets"
After:
"####o, I would like to move some ###ets"
What other terms are banned, you ask?
(Actual results)
Before:
"Hello, I would like to move some assets"
After:
"####o, I would like to move some ###ets"
What other terms are banned, you ask?
My Karen Read trial thoughts (as someone following the story since the day it broke):
- heaps and heaps of reasonable doubt
- Sue O’Connell of NBC10 is a legend
- please do not let this show get renewed for a third season
- heaps and heaps of reasonable doubt
- Sue O’Connell of NBC10 is a legend
- please do not let this show get renewed for a third season
June 13, 2025 at 6:42 PM
My Karen Read trial thoughts (as someone following the story since the day it broke):
- heaps and heaps of reasonable doubt
- Sue O’Connell of NBC10 is a legend
- please do not let this show get renewed for a third season
- heaps and heaps of reasonable doubt
- Sue O’Connell of NBC10 is a legend
- please do not let this show get renewed for a third season
An Ocean's film series-style "getting the gang back together" montage but it's you re-enlisting your original groomsmen for your post-divorce second wedding
May 29, 2025 at 5:42 PM
An Ocean's film series-style "getting the gang back together" montage but it's you re-enlisting your original groomsmen for your post-divorce second wedding
"It's honestly pretty easy once you get down to five."
- My friend who was dog sitting seven dogs earlier in the day and had since dropped off two of them
- My friend who was dog sitting seven dogs earlier in the day and had since dropped off two of them
May 26, 2025 at 6:22 PM
"It's honestly pretty easy once you get down to five."
- My friend who was dog sitting seven dogs earlier in the day and had since dropped off two of them
- My friend who was dog sitting seven dogs earlier in the day and had since dropped off two of them
Like getting added as an authorized user to someone's credit card to try and boost your score, except it's getting added to group Airbnb trips to generate ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ reviews that bury the ones claiming you left noodles on the floor.
May 19, 2025 at 2:45 AM
Like getting added as an authorized user to someone's credit card to try and boost your score, except it's getting added to group Airbnb trips to generate ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ reviews that bury the ones claiming you left noodles on the floor.
With the fourth pick of the 2025 NFL draft, the New England Patriots select the first white guy available.
April 25, 2025 at 12:38 AM
With the fourth pick of the 2025 NFL draft, the New England Patriots select the first white guy available.
Bon Iver Got Happy - and Sexy
Bon Iver Got Happy - and Sexy
Bon Iver Got Happy - and Sexy
Bon Iver Got Happy - and Sexy
Bon Iver Got Happy - an–
Bon Iver Got Happy - and Sexy
Bon Iver Got Happy - and Sexy
Bon Iver Got Happy - and Sexy
Bon Iver Got Happy - an–
April 15, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Bon Iver Got Happy - and Sexy
Bon Iver Got Happy - and Sexy
Bon Iver Got Happy - and Sexy
Bon Iver Got Happy - and Sexy
Bon Iver Got Happy - an–
Bon Iver Got Happy - and Sexy
Bon Iver Got Happy - and Sexy
Bon Iver Got Happy - and Sexy
Bon Iver Got Happy - an–
I got a new license and my photo has way too much headroom. I am fine with my tax dollars going to the Department of Motor Vehicles in support of additional framing and composition training.
April 1, 2025 at 6:22 PM
I got a new license and my photo has way too much headroom. I am fine with my tax dollars going to the Department of Motor Vehicles in support of additional framing and composition training.
Any chumps still on Facebook Marketplace are missing out on the real deals over on Freecycle.
Two Hats. Can't get any better than that, right?
Wrong!
Two More Hats. Right when you think the free hats have ended.
Two Hats. Can't get any better than that, right?
Wrong!
Two More Hats. Right when you think the free hats have ended.
March 3, 2025 at 2:26 AM
Any chumps still on Facebook Marketplace are missing out on the real deals over on Freecycle.
Two Hats. Can't get any better than that, right?
Wrong!
Two More Hats. Right when you think the free hats have ended.
Two Hats. Can't get any better than that, right?
Wrong!
Two More Hats. Right when you think the free hats have ended.
Peloton operating expenses:
- 10% rent for NYC studio space
- 15% salaries for fitness instructors
- 75% royalties paid to Papa Roach for the privilege of playing "Last Resort" during every class
- 10% rent for NYC studio space
- 15% salaries for fitness instructors
- 75% royalties paid to Papa Roach for the privilege of playing "Last Resort" during every class
February 20, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Peloton operating expenses:
- 10% rent for NYC studio space
- 15% salaries for fitness instructors
- 75% royalties paid to Papa Roach for the privilege of playing "Last Resort" during every class
- 10% rent for NYC studio space
- 15% salaries for fitness instructors
- 75% royalties paid to Papa Roach for the privilege of playing "Last Resort" during every class
Very pleased with the recent trend of having trailers for commercials, as well as sequels to commercials.
Normally, every 30-second advert, I have to ask myself "who are these characters? What is their backstory, their motivation?"
Now I will be prepared.
Normally, every 30-second advert, I have to ask myself "who are these characters? What is their backstory, their motivation?"
Now I will be prepared.
February 3, 2025 at 3:50 AM
Very pleased with the recent trend of having trailers for commercials, as well as sequels to commercials.
Normally, every 30-second advert, I have to ask myself "who are these characters? What is their backstory, their motivation?"
Now I will be prepared.
Normally, every 30-second advert, I have to ask myself "who are these characters? What is their backstory, their motivation?"
Now I will be prepared.
According to tradition, if the Bills lose to the Chiefs in the playoffs, there will be six more months of winter in Buffalo.
January 27, 2025 at 2:56 AM
According to tradition, if the Bills lose to the Chiefs in the playoffs, there will be six more months of winter in Buffalo.
My health insurance is changing for the new year so I think I'll carry both my old and new card tonight along with a "see other pocket if after midnight" note in case I get scooped up by EMTs and they try to bill the wrong plan.
December 31, 2024 at 10:48 PM
My health insurance is changing for the new year so I think I'll carry both my old and new card tonight along with a "see other pocket if after midnight" note in case I get scooped up by EMTs and they try to bill the wrong plan.
For any organizations participating in this Giving Tuesday, add the following to your donation form to maximize your charitable impact:
☑️ Check this box to quadruple your contribution and never be contacted again
☑️ Check this box to quadruple your contribution and never be contacted again
December 3, 2024 at 2:42 PM
For any organizations participating in this Giving Tuesday, add the following to your donation form to maximize your charitable impact:
☑️ Check this box to quadruple your contribution and never be contacted again
☑️ Check this box to quadruple your contribution and never be contacted again
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.
The second best time was 19 years and 364 days ago.
The third best time was 19 years and 363 days ago.
The fourth best time was 19 years and 362 days ago.
The fifth best time was 19 years and 361 days ago.
The sixth best time was 19 years and –
The second best time was 19 years and 364 days ago.
The third best time was 19 years and 363 days ago.
The fourth best time was 19 years and 362 days ago.
The fifth best time was 19 years and 361 days ago.
The sixth best time was 19 years and –
November 25, 2024 at 2:58 PM
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.
The second best time was 19 years and 364 days ago.
The third best time was 19 years and 363 days ago.
The fourth best time was 19 years and 362 days ago.
The fifth best time was 19 years and 361 days ago.
The sixth best time was 19 years and –
The second best time was 19 years and 364 days ago.
The third best time was 19 years and 363 days ago.
The fourth best time was 19 years and 362 days ago.
The fifth best time was 19 years and 361 days ago.
The sixth best time was 19 years and –
Healthcare tip: lacking medical insurance? Buy a ticket for a local music festival and hit the first aid tent. You’ll get care for your ailments and might also catch some good tunes.
October 12, 2024 at 8:21 PM
Healthcare tip: lacking medical insurance? Buy a ticket for a local music festival and hit the first aid tent. You’ll get care for your ailments and might also catch some good tunes.
Hold on just a moment, I can't quite hear you. Let me just put in my Apple AirPods Pro 2 featuring a clinical-grade Hearing Aid.
*begins listening to a four-hour podcast episode of Hardcore History about the rise of Alexander the Great*
*begins listening to a four-hour podcast episode of Hardcore History about the rise of Alexander the Great*
September 9, 2024 at 11:26 PM
Hold on just a moment, I can't quite hear you. Let me just put in my Apple AirPods Pro 2 featuring a clinical-grade Hearing Aid.
*begins listening to a four-hour podcast episode of Hardcore History about the rise of Alexander the Great*
*begins listening to a four-hour podcast episode of Hardcore History about the rise of Alexander the Great*
Latest piece up now for Slackjaw! For all the LEGO lovers, parents and non-parents alike. 🧱
medium.com/slackjaw/sor...
medium.com/slackjaw/sor...
Sorry Son, But This Several-Hundred-Dollar LEGO Set Is Just For Daddy
Sure, building is fun, but the best part is displaying my creation knowing I spent half a grand on the LEGO Marvel Avengers Tower, plus tax.
medium.com
September 9, 2024 at 12:00 PM
Latest piece up now for Slackjaw! For all the LEGO lovers, parents and non-parents alike. 🧱
medium.com/slackjaw/sor...
medium.com/slackjaw/sor...
Had salmon for all three meals today
July 31, 2024 at 1:26 AM
Had salmon for all three meals today
In a good mood today and just firing out likes left and right on my Discover Weekly playlist.
June 3, 2024 at 4:26 PM
In a good mood today and just firing out likes left and right on my Discover Weekly playlist.
@lukevburns.bsky.social I am delighted to see that your classic "Snake Fight" piece is apparently baked into Google's generative AI feature.
If they're training on short humor, I hope querying for "when is decorative gourd season" returns a profanity-laden response.
discuss.systems/@ricci/11249...
If they're training on short humor, I hope querying for "when is decorative gourd season" returns a profanity-laden response.
discuss.systems/@ricci/11249...
Rob Ricci (@ricci@discuss.systems)
Attached: 1 image
At last, some information from Google that students can really use!
discuss.systems
May 27, 2024 at 4:18 PM
@lukevburns.bsky.social I am delighted to see that your classic "Snake Fight" piece is apparently baked into Google's generative AI feature.
If they're training on short humor, I hope querying for "when is decorative gourd season" returns a profanity-laden response.
discuss.systems/@ricci/11249...
If they're training on short humor, I hope querying for "when is decorative gourd season" returns a profanity-laden response.
discuss.systems/@ricci/11249...