Dave Kayaks
@davekayaks.bsky.social
Baby-naming magnate, author of ‘Death by Halloween.” On Cinema, Dwarf Fortress, light trolling. I will NOT be discussing kayaking.
Pinned
Dave Kayaks
@davekayaks.bsky.social
· Jan 7
a man in a hot dog costume has the word wrong on the bottom right
ALT: a man in a hot dog costume has the word wrong on the bottom right
media.tenor.com
If I respond with this gif, I’m probably screwing around. That’s what the hotdog suit is meant to convey.
If I get salad dressing on my trackpad one more time, I’m walking to to the lake.
November 14, 2025 at 5:07 PM
If I get salad dressing on my trackpad one more time, I’m walking to to the lake.
Bit of doom and gloom today.
October 29, 2025 at 3:03 PM
Bit of doom and gloom today.
Release the Stoltz cut of Back to the Future!
October 23, 2025 at 1:17 PM
Release the Stoltz cut of Back to the Future!
I follow the parakeets around the park with my wife.
October 15, 2025 at 2:52 PM
I follow the parakeets around the park with my wife.
I feel like we missed our chance to eat the rich and now we’re doomed. Thought?
October 15, 2025 at 12:08 PM
I feel like we missed our chance to eat the rich and now we’re doomed. Thought?
We are so hooped.
September 25, 2025 at 3:03 PM
We are so hooped.
How can I get one of those cyanide teeth?
September 11, 2025 at 1:26 PM
How can I get one of those cyanide teeth?
Update for Dwarf Fortress of Bronzeshort: The first fortress-born child, known simply as "The Unclothed," has had his first encounter with nudity-based shame just 4 months into his 18th year. The shame was felt while socializing with his only non-family acquaintance and expedition leader, Buck.
September 6, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Update for Dwarf Fortress of Bronzeshort: The first fortress-born child, known simply as "The Unclothed," has had his first encounter with nudity-based shame just 4 months into his 18th year. The shame was felt while socializing with his only non-family acquaintance and expedition leader, Buck.
Big news from the nudist Dwarf Fortress, Bronzeshirt: first shame emotion has appeared in the second generation, felt by the 6th child, who is one year old. None of the other 5 children have ever appeared to feel shame at being uncovered in their collective 46 years of life (the oldest is 17).
August 31, 2025 at 10:53 PM
Big news from the nudist Dwarf Fortress, Bronzeshirt: first shame emotion has appeared in the second generation, felt by the 6th child, who is one year old. None of the other 5 children have ever appeared to feel shame at being uncovered in their collective 46 years of life (the oldest is 17).
Thank god my wife is watching this new season of Dexter. I desperately needed to hear Mikey Hall say “my dark passenger” one gabagoolian times.
August 30, 2025 at 12:57 AM
Thank god my wife is watching this new season of Dexter. I desperately needed to hear Mikey Hall say “my dark passenger” one gabagoolian times.
Is it the airshow in Toronto? I can’t tell.
August 29, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Is it the airshow in Toronto? I can’t tell.
I swear to god someone’s just out there twisting knobs.
August 29, 2025 at 6:20 PM
I swear to god someone’s just out there twisting knobs.
If you buy a visibly dented box of crackers, you’re asking for trouble. This is NOT a metaphor and shouldn’t be used as one.
August 25, 2025 at 4:13 PM
If you buy a visibly dented box of crackers, you’re asking for trouble. This is NOT a metaphor and shouldn’t be used as one.
This video’s pretty cool I guess, but it’d be better if there was a dumpy middle-aged man in the corner of the screen, mumbling his take.
August 21, 2025 at 6:45 PM
This video’s pretty cool I guess, but it’d be better if there was a dumpy middle-aged man in the corner of the screen, mumbling his take.
Wife just surprised me with Dwarf Fortress merch, so I guess we will be renewing our vows this weekend
August 20, 2025 at 12:35 AM
Wife just surprised me with Dwarf Fortress merch, so I guess we will be renewing our vows this weekend
Nudist Dwarf Fortress, founded in 128, finally has its first female baby, born in 153. She was born in the mines as her mother hauled green jade. This is good for the long-term heath of the fortress, which has a birth-only policy on new citizens.
August 18, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Nudist Dwarf Fortress, founded in 128, finally has its first female baby, born in 153. She was born in the mines as her mother hauled green jade. This is good for the long-term heath of the fortress, which has a birth-only policy on new citizens.
I find myself watching apocalyptic movies and feeling jealous that their apocalypses aren’t as dumb as ours.
August 17, 2025 at 5:22 PM
I find myself watching apocalyptic movies and feeling jealous that their apocalypses aren’t as dumb as ours.
Ready to feel old? If you were a teenager when the first Tom Cruise Mission Impossible movie came out, you are now Kurt Russell’s current age.
August 17, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Ready to feel old? If you were a teenager when the first Tom Cruise Mission Impossible movie came out, you are now Kurt Russell’s current age.
I get approached about my “Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace” shirt a lot. Strangely, it has even drawn attention from people unfamiliar with the show.
August 16, 2025 at 2:44 PM
I get approached about my “Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace” shirt a lot. Strangely, it has even drawn attention from people unfamiliar with the show.
Maybe I’m a prude, but it actually really pisses me off that people use the Dwarf Fortress Questions thread without liking it.
August 16, 2025 at 2:40 PM
Maybe I’m a prude, but it actually really pisses me off that people use the Dwarf Fortress Questions thread without liking it.
Is thinking you see bugs everywhere a natural part of aging, or is there something else going on with me?
August 15, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Is thinking you see bugs everywhere a natural part of aging, or is there something else going on with me?
Update on my nudist Dwarf Fortress: The population has swollen to 11 with the birth of the fourth child... another boy. For those counting, that is 10 men and 1 woman.
Since the last remaining fortress deity is female, standard naming convention has been foregone, and the boy has been named "Rock."
Since the last remaining fortress deity is female, standard naming convention has been foregone, and the boy has been named "Rock."
August 15, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Update on my nudist Dwarf Fortress: The population has swollen to 11 with the birth of the fourth child... another boy. For those counting, that is 10 men and 1 woman.
Since the last remaining fortress deity is female, standard naming convention has been foregone, and the boy has been named "Rock."
Since the last remaining fortress deity is female, standard naming convention has been foregone, and the boy has been named "Rock."
There’s only one Rambo, and that’s Frank Stallone
August 12, 2025 at 1:29 AM
There’s only one Rambo, and that’s Frank Stallone