Connor Daly
@dasconnor.bsky.social
🔧 Engineering better social systems
🤝 Writing about friendship, community & personal growth
🌱 Always learning, always building
🤝 Writing about friendship, community & personal growth
🌱 Always learning, always building
Building relationships isn’t about being charming.
It’s about having a system.
Meet people → Make their day a little better → See them again.
That’s the only networking system you’ll ever need.
It’s about having a system.
Meet people → Make their day a little better → See them again.
That’s the only networking system you’ll ever need.
April 18, 2025 at 3:47 AM
Building relationships isn’t about being charming.
It’s about having a system.
Meet people → Make their day a little better → See them again.
That’s the only networking system you’ll ever need.
It’s about having a system.
Meet people → Make their day a little better → See them again.
That’s the only networking system you’ll ever need.
I'm done with my Lawful Good era.
We're going full-send Chaotic Good.
LinkedIn won't be ready...
We're going full-send Chaotic Good.
LinkedIn won't be ready...
March 24, 2025 at 4:28 PM
I'm done with my Lawful Good era.
We're going full-send Chaotic Good.
LinkedIn won't be ready...
We're going full-send Chaotic Good.
LinkedIn won't be ready...
Early friendship building is about giving: offering value, invitations, and warmth.
But deeper intimacy comes when you switch from being a giver to a requestor.
Asking for help isn't being a "taker;" it's an act of trust inviting the other person into your inner world.
But deeper intimacy comes when you switch from being a giver to a requestor.
Asking for help isn't being a "taker;" it's an act of trust inviting the other person into your inner world.
March 20, 2025 at 3:40 PM
Early friendship building is about giving: offering value, invitations, and warmth.
But deeper intimacy comes when you switch from being a giver to a requestor.
Asking for help isn't being a "taker;" it's an act of trust inviting the other person into your inner world.
But deeper intimacy comes when you switch from being a giver to a requestor.
Asking for help isn't being a "taker;" it's an act of trust inviting the other person into your inner world.
Most people completely wing their social approaches.
And that's why they so often fail.
A thread on the 3 hidden variables in every successful social interaction 🧵
And that's why they so often fail.
A thread on the 3 hidden variables in every successful social interaction 🧵
February 14, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Most people completely wing their social approaches.
And that's why they so often fail.
A thread on the 3 hidden variables in every successful social interaction 🧵
And that's why they so often fail.
A thread on the 3 hidden variables in every successful social interaction 🧵
5 pieces of an effective anchor event:
• Regular cadence (weekly/monthly)
• Clear activity or purpose
• Beginner friendly
• Easy to bring friends
• It's fun for you regardless of who shows up
Create this structure and watch your social life transform ⚡️
• Regular cadence (weekly/monthly)
• Clear activity or purpose
• Beginner friendly
• Easy to bring friends
• It's fun for you regardless of who shows up
Create this structure and watch your social life transform ⚡️
February 10, 2025 at 11:00 PM
5 pieces of an effective anchor event:
• Regular cadence (weekly/monthly)
• Clear activity or purpose
• Beginner friendly
• Easy to bring friends
• It's fun for you regardless of who shows up
Create this structure and watch your social life transform ⚡️
• Regular cadence (weekly/monthly)
• Clear activity or purpose
• Beginner friendly
• Easy to bring friends
• It's fun for you regardless of who shows up
Create this structure and watch your social life transform ⚡️
Have trouble starting conversations with strangers?
Practice in situations where people expect to be approached!
Parties, happy hours, and meet ups are great for this!
The grocery store is not.
Practice in situations where people expect to be approached!
Parties, happy hours, and meet ups are great for this!
The grocery store is not.
February 10, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Have trouble starting conversations with strangers?
Practice in situations where people expect to be approached!
Parties, happy hours, and meet ups are great for this!
The grocery store is not.
Practice in situations where people expect to be approached!
Parties, happy hours, and meet ups are great for this!
The grocery store is not.
For my event hosts:
Your first 3 gatherings might feel:
• Awkward
• Under-attended
• Imperfect
That's normal! Mine did too.
By gathering 4, you'll have regulars. By 6, you'll have momentum. By 10, you'll have a community.
Trust the process 🌱
Your first 3 gatherings might feel:
• Awkward
• Under-attended
• Imperfect
That's normal! Mine did too.
By gathering 4, you'll have regulars. By 6, you'll have momentum. By 10, you'll have a community.
Trust the process 🌱
February 9, 2025 at 1:00 PM
For my event hosts:
Your first 3 gatherings might feel:
• Awkward
• Under-attended
• Imperfect
That's normal! Mine did too.
By gathering 4, you'll have regulars. By 6, you'll have momentum. By 10, you'll have a community.
Trust the process 🌱
Your first 3 gatherings might feel:
• Awkward
• Under-attended
• Imperfect
That's normal! Mine did too.
By gathering 4, you'll have regulars. By 6, you'll have momentum. By 10, you'll have a community.
Trust the process 🌱
One of my favorite Kevin Kelly quotes:
"In so many ways a friend with a boat is better than owning a boat."
"In so many ways a friend with a boat is better than owning a boat."
February 8, 2025 at 1:00 PM
One of my favorite Kevin Kelly quotes:
"In so many ways a friend with a boat is better than owning a boat."
"In so many ways a friend with a boat is better than owning a boat."
Weekend energy check:
Stuck in the 'maybe something will happen' mindset?
Not today.
Not this weekend.
Not anymore.
Pick ONE social action and make it happen.
Send that text. Make those plans.
Stuck in the 'maybe something will happen' mindset?
Not today.
Not this weekend.
Not anymore.
Pick ONE social action and make it happen.
Send that text. Make those plans.
February 7, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Weekend energy check:
Stuck in the 'maybe something will happen' mindset?
Not today.
Not this weekend.
Not anymore.
Pick ONE social action and make it happen.
Send that text. Make those plans.
Stuck in the 'maybe something will happen' mindset?
Not today.
Not this weekend.
Not anymore.
Pick ONE social action and make it happen.
Send that text. Make those plans.
Your network isn't your net worth—it's better.
A thread on why friendship outperforms every other investment:
A thread on why friendship outperforms every other investment:
February 7, 2025 at 1:53 PM
Your network isn't your net worth—it's better.
A thread on why friendship outperforms every other investment:
A thread on why friendship outperforms every other investment:
How to build a social life in a new city:
1. Commit to hosting a housewarming party
2. Join 2-3 recurring meetups
3. Say yes to every invitation
4. After good conversations, mention your party
5. Once you have 15 contacts, send the invites
🎉 Now you have a social circle
1. Commit to hosting a housewarming party
2. Join 2-3 recurring meetups
3. Say yes to every invitation
4. After good conversations, mention your party
5. Once you have 15 contacts, send the invites
🎉 Now you have a social circle
February 6, 2025 at 11:00 PM
How to build a social life in a new city:
1. Commit to hosting a housewarming party
2. Join 2-3 recurring meetups
3. Say yes to every invitation
4. After good conversations, mention your party
5. Once you have 15 contacts, send the invites
🎉 Now you have a social circle
1. Commit to hosting a housewarming party
2. Join 2-3 recurring meetups
3. Say yes to every invitation
4. After good conversations, mention your party
5. Once you have 15 contacts, send the invites
🎉 Now you have a social circle
3 ways to make your next gathering more connective:
• Everyone wears nametags
• Mix up conversations hourly
• Create small group moments
The best hosts don't just invite people. They engineer opportunities for connection.
• Everyone wears nametags
• Mix up conversations hourly
• Create small group moments
The best hosts don't just invite people. They engineer opportunities for connection.
February 6, 2025 at 1:00 PM
3 ways to make your next gathering more connective:
• Everyone wears nametags
• Mix up conversations hourly
• Create small group moments
The best hosts don't just invite people. They engineer opportunities for connection.
• Everyone wears nametags
• Mix up conversations hourly
• Create small group moments
The best hosts don't just invite people. They engineer opportunities for connection.
3 reasons you're not meeting new people:
1. You're waiting for the perfect time
2. You only go to familiar places
3. You expect others to make the first move
The truth? There's no perfect time.
There's just today.
Start by committing to ONE social event per week.
1. You're waiting for the perfect time
2. You only go to familiar places
3. You expect others to make the first move
The truth? There's no perfect time.
There's just today.
Start by committing to ONE social event per week.
February 5, 2025 at 11:00 PM
3 reasons you're not meeting new people:
1. You're waiting for the perfect time
2. You only go to familiar places
3. You expect others to make the first move
The truth? There's no perfect time.
There's just today.
Start by committing to ONE social event per week.
1. You're waiting for the perfect time
2. You only go to familiar places
3. You expect others to make the first move
The truth? There's no perfect time.
There's just today.
Start by committing to ONE social event per week.
Your most valuable friends won't be your clones.
They'll be the ones who:
• Think differently than you
• Live differently than you
• Know different people than you
Each difference multiplies what's possible in your life.
They'll be the ones who:
• Think differently than you
• Live differently than you
• Know different people than you
Each difference multiplies what's possible in your life.
February 5, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Your most valuable friends won't be your clones.
They'll be the ones who:
• Think differently than you
• Live differently than you
• Know different people than you
Each difference multiplies what's possible in your life.
They'll be the ones who:
• Think differently than you
• Live differently than you
• Know different people than you
Each difference multiplies what's possible in your life.
How making friends is like dating:
• Wondering who makes the first move
• Awkward first hangouts
• Fear of rejection
• "We should definitely hang out sometime!"
• Getting ghosted
At least with dating you have apps 😅
...with friendship you have my newsletter 😎
• Wondering who makes the first move
• Awkward first hangouts
• Fear of rejection
• "We should definitely hang out sometime!"
• Getting ghosted
At least with dating you have apps 😅
...with friendship you have my newsletter 😎
February 4, 2025 at 11:00 PM
How making friends is like dating:
• Wondering who makes the first move
• Awkward first hangouts
• Fear of rejection
• "We should definitely hang out sometime!"
• Getting ghosted
At least with dating you have apps 😅
...with friendship you have my newsletter 😎
• Wondering who makes the first move
• Awkward first hangouts
• Fear of rejection
• "We should definitely hang out sometime!"
• Getting ghosted
At least with dating you have apps 😅
...with friendship you have my newsletter 😎
Mini friendship experiment:
Next time you meet someone cool, don't just say "Let's get coffee sometime!"
Instead try: "I host/go to [activity] every [timeframe]. Would love to have you join!"
Specific invites beat vague intentions every time.
Next time you meet someone cool, don't just say "Let's get coffee sometime!"
Instead try: "I host/go to [activity] every [timeframe]. Would love to have you join!"
Specific invites beat vague intentions every time.
February 4, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Mini friendship experiment:
Next time you meet someone cool, don't just say "Let's get coffee sometime!"
Instead try: "I host/go to [activity] every [timeframe]. Would love to have you join!"
Specific invites beat vague intentions every time.
Next time you meet someone cool, don't just say "Let's get coffee sometime!"
Instead try: "I host/go to [activity] every [timeframe]. Would love to have you join!"
Specific invites beat vague intentions every time.
Your dream friends exist.
They go to events.
They want to connect.
They hope to meet you.
But they'll never show up in your living room.
You have to create the opportunities for paths to cross.
They go to events.
They want to connect.
They hope to meet you.
But they'll never show up in your living room.
You have to create the opportunities for paths to cross.
February 3, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Your dream friends exist.
They go to events.
They want to connect.
They hope to meet you.
But they'll never show up in your living room.
You have to create the opportunities for paths to cross.
They go to events.
They want to connect.
They hope to meet you.
But they'll never show up in your living room.
You have to create the opportunities for paths to cross.
The 3 Levels of Social Skills:
Level 1: Making conversation
Level 2: Creating opportunities
Level 3: Building communities
Most advice stops at Level 1.
That's why it doesn't work.
Level 1: Making conversation
Level 2: Creating opportunities
Level 3: Building communities
Most advice stops at Level 1.
That's why it doesn't work.
February 3, 2025 at 1:00 PM
The 3 Levels of Social Skills:
Level 1: Making conversation
Level 2: Creating opportunities
Level 3: Building communities
Most advice stops at Level 1.
That's why it doesn't work.
Level 1: Making conversation
Level 2: Creating opportunities
Level 3: Building communities
Most advice stops at Level 1.
That's why it doesn't work.
Quick social experiment:
Next time you're in public, notice:
• Who looks open to conversation?
• Who seems closed off?
• What makes the difference?
Learning to read these signals is your conversation starting superpower 💪
Next time you're in public, notice:
• Who looks open to conversation?
• Who seems closed off?
• What makes the difference?
Learning to read these signals is your conversation starting superpower 💪
February 2, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Quick social experiment:
Next time you're in public, notice:
• Who looks open to conversation?
• Who seems closed off?
• What makes the difference?
Learning to read these signals is your conversation starting superpower 💪
Next time you're in public, notice:
• Who looks open to conversation?
• Who seems closed off?
• What makes the difference?
Learning to read these signals is your conversation starting superpower 💪
I've already published more words in January than I published in all of 2024.
LFG!!
LFG!!
February 1, 2025 at 1:00 PM
I've already published more words in January than I published in all of 2024.
LFG!!
LFG!!
3 unconventional party rules that work every time:
• Mandatory nametags (yes, even for you!)
• Write the most unhinged event description possible
• Drop surprise icebreakers to shuffle conversations
No more awkward standing around. Just natural connections ✨
• Mandatory nametags (yes, even for you!)
• Write the most unhinged event description possible
• Drop surprise icebreakers to shuffle conversations
No more awkward standing around. Just natural connections ✨
January 31, 2025 at 11:00 PM
3 unconventional party rules that work every time:
• Mandatory nametags (yes, even for you!)
• Write the most unhinged event description possible
• Drop surprise icebreakers to shuffle conversations
No more awkward standing around. Just natural connections ✨
• Mandatory nametags (yes, even for you!)
• Write the most unhinged event description possible
• Drop surprise icebreakers to shuffle conversations
No more awkward standing around. Just natural connections ✨
The hardest part of meeting new friends isn't starting conversations...
It's getting them to see you again. 🤝
I've developed a system that turns any great first interaction into a lasting connection.
❌ No awkward friend dates required!
Here's why it works and how to use it:
It's getting them to see you again. 🤝
I've developed a system that turns any great first interaction into a lasting connection.
❌ No awkward friend dates required!
Here's why it works and how to use it:
January 31, 2025 at 2:08 PM
The hardest part of meeting new friends isn't starting conversations...
It's getting them to see you again. 🤝
I've developed a system that turns any great first interaction into a lasting connection.
❌ No awkward friend dates required!
Here's why it works and how to use it:
It's getting them to see you again. 🤝
I've developed a system that turns any great first interaction into a lasting connection.
❌ No awkward friend dates required!
Here's why it works and how to use it:
Now's a great time to invite someone to join you for dinner one night this weekend.
January 30, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Now's a great time to invite someone to join you for dinner one night this weekend.
February is packed with social opportunities!
In the next few weeks, you can
• 🏈 Host a Super Bowl watch party
• ❤️ Throw a Galentines/Valentines gathering
• 🎮 Plan an indoor game night
• 🍜 Share a comfort food potlucks
The best way to stay warm is together!
In the next few weeks, you can
• 🏈 Host a Super Bowl watch party
• ❤️ Throw a Galentines/Valentines gathering
• 🎮 Plan an indoor game night
• 🍜 Share a comfort food potlucks
The best way to stay warm is together!
January 30, 2025 at 1:00 PM
February is packed with social opportunities!
In the next few weeks, you can
• 🏈 Host a Super Bowl watch party
• ❤️ Throw a Galentines/Valentines gathering
• 🎮 Plan an indoor game night
• 🍜 Share a comfort food potlucks
The best way to stay warm is together!
In the next few weeks, you can
• 🏈 Host a Super Bowl watch party
• ❤️ Throw a Galentines/Valentines gathering
• 🎮 Plan an indoor game night
• 🍜 Share a comfort food potlucks
The best way to stay warm is together!
Everyone's worried about the friend zone...
But you really should worry about the acquaintance zone 😅
"We should definitely hang out sometime!"
*never hangs out*
The cure?
Stop being vague. Make specific plans:
"I'm doing X on Y date, want to join?"
Works every time.
But you really should worry about the acquaintance zone 😅
"We should definitely hang out sometime!"
*never hangs out*
The cure?
Stop being vague. Make specific plans:
"I'm doing X on Y date, want to join?"
Works every time.
January 29, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Everyone's worried about the friend zone...
But you really should worry about the acquaintance zone 😅
"We should definitely hang out sometime!"
*never hangs out*
The cure?
Stop being vague. Make specific plans:
"I'm doing X on Y date, want to join?"
Works every time.
But you really should worry about the acquaintance zone 😅
"We should definitely hang out sometime!"
*never hangs out*
The cure?
Stop being vague. Make specific plans:
"I'm doing X on Y date, want to join?"
Works every time.