Daphne ⓥ
@daphneottawa.bsky.social
Pinned
Daphne ⓥ
@daphneottawa.bsky.social
· Mar 20
✨ 2025 Special ✨
Make it a movie date for $100!
Example: 1.5 hour incall + whatever time at the movies = $500 + $100
Doesn’t matter if it’s a standard 90 minute flick or the LOTR extended version, the movie portion of the date will be a flat $100.
Terms apply ⬇️
Make it a movie date for $100!
Example: 1.5 hour incall + whatever time at the movies = $500 + $100
Doesn’t matter if it’s a standard 90 minute flick or the LOTR extended version, the movie portion of the date will be a flat $100.
Terms apply ⬇️
Meet Polly, my boobie cactus 🤭
November 13, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Meet Polly, my boobie cactus 🤭
“I don’t talk like that—I’m from Ottawa.”
September 29, 2025 at 6:18 PM
“I don’t talk like that—I’m from Ottawa.”
“I want to book [duration under lowest listed]”
“Do you offer [unpaid] social dates?”
“How much if I only want xyz?”
“I only have $___”
These are all haggling and negotiating. Don’t be disrespectful.
“Do you offer [unpaid] social dates?”
“How much if I only want xyz?”
“I only have $___”
These are all haggling and negotiating. Don’t be disrespectful.
September 29, 2025 at 12:18 AM
“I want to book [duration under lowest listed]”
“Do you offer [unpaid] social dates?”
“How much if I only want xyz?”
“I only have $___”
These are all haggling and negotiating. Don’t be disrespectful.
“Do you offer [unpaid] social dates?”
“How much if I only want xyz?”
“I only have $___”
These are all haggling and negotiating. Don’t be disrespectful.
Long time no see ✌️
September 23, 2025 at 2:15 PM
Long time no see ✌️
Don’t ask for bottled water if you’re just going to have one sip and decline taking it with you when you leave 😠
August 16, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Don’t ask for bottled water if you’re just going to have one sip and decline taking it with you when you leave 😠
Going to a busker festival without cash is like coming here with an account bio that says, “Just here for fun. I don’t pay for play.” 🤡
August 11, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Going to a busker festival without cash is like coming here with an account bio that says, “Just here for fun. I don’t pay for play.” 🤡
Devastated to learn that St. Elsewhere is permanently closing after August 31. 😭
August 3, 2025 at 8:53 PM
Devastated to learn that St. Elsewhere is permanently closing after August 31. 😭
I received Exotic Cancer’s ‘Nightshift’ board game today!
Wanna come over and play?
Wanna come over and play?
May 2, 2025 at 10:13 PM
I received Exotic Cancer’s ‘Nightshift’ board game today!
Wanna come over and play?
Wanna come over and play?
“Please give me a good rating,” says the Uber driver who held his phone to look up hockey updates while driving, tried to invite himself to my movie, and suggested picking me up after
April 8, 2025 at 1:46 AM
“Please give me a good rating,” says the Uber driver who held his phone to look up hockey updates while driving, tried to invite himself to my movie, and suggested picking me up after
I just realized some douchey Cybertruck owner might have sentry mode footage of me ranting about how dangerous trucks/SUVs are for pedestrians and me demonstrating how it would hit me in a front-end collision 🤷♀️
April 8, 2025 at 1:39 AM
I just realized some douchey Cybertruck owner might have sentry mode footage of me ranting about how dangerous trucks/SUVs are for pedestrians and me demonstrating how it would hit me in a front-end collision 🤷♀️
✨ 2025 Special ✨
Make it a movie date for $100!
Example: 1.5 hour incall + whatever time at the movies = $500 + $100
Doesn’t matter if it’s a standard 90 minute flick or the LOTR extended version, the movie portion of the date will be a flat $100.
Terms apply ⬇️
Make it a movie date for $100!
Example: 1.5 hour incall + whatever time at the movies = $500 + $100
Doesn’t matter if it’s a standard 90 minute flick or the LOTR extended version, the movie portion of the date will be a flat $100.
Terms apply ⬇️
March 20, 2025 at 2:06 PM
✨ 2025 Special ✨
Make it a movie date for $100!
Example: 1.5 hour incall + whatever time at the movies = $500 + $100
Doesn’t matter if it’s a standard 90 minute flick or the LOTR extended version, the movie portion of the date will be a flat $100.
Terms apply ⬇️
Make it a movie date for $100!
Example: 1.5 hour incall + whatever time at the movies = $500 + $100
Doesn’t matter if it’s a standard 90 minute flick or the LOTR extended version, the movie portion of the date will be a flat $100.
Terms apply ⬇️
Are you wearing green today? ☘️
March 17, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Are you wearing green today? ☘️
“Does your incall smell like cat?”
1. Rude.
2. He doesn’t live there. If he did, I’d disclose that because I’m not an entitled prick who lets an animal in their care jump on unsuspecting clients, roam free on multi-use pathways, or be loud in stores because “everyone must love them!!”
1. Rude.
2. He doesn’t live there. If he did, I’d disclose that because I’m not an entitled prick who lets an animal in their care jump on unsuspecting clients, roam free on multi-use pathways, or be loud in stores because “everyone must love them!!”
March 11, 2025 at 2:54 PM
“Does your incall smell like cat?”
1. Rude.
2. He doesn’t live there. If he did, I’d disclose that because I’m not an entitled prick who lets an animal in their care jump on unsuspecting clients, roam free on multi-use pathways, or be loud in stores because “everyone must love them!!”
1. Rude.
2. He doesn’t live there. If he did, I’d disclose that because I’m not an entitled prick who lets an animal in their care jump on unsuspecting clients, roam free on multi-use pathways, or be loud in stores because “everyone must love them!!”
Good morning! I’m available for last-minute appointments until 6pm today. 💘
March 10, 2025 at 3:46 PM
Good morning! I’m available for last-minute appointments until 6pm today. 💘
Happy Day of the Dude
March 6, 2025 at 1:45 PM
Happy Day of the Dude
My favourite movies from this awards season:
• Anora
• Flow
• It’s What’s Inside
• My Old Ass
• The Substance
• Wicked
What are yours?
• Anora
• Flow
• It’s What’s Inside
• My Old Ass
• The Substance
• Wicked
What are yours?
March 2, 2025 at 3:37 PM
My favourite movies from this awards season:
• Anora
• Flow
• It’s What’s Inside
• My Old Ass
• The Substance
• Wicked
What are yours?
• Anora
• Flow
• It’s What’s Inside
• My Old Ass
• The Substance
• Wicked
What are yours?
Lousy Smarch weather
March 1, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Lousy Smarch weather
“I don’t know. It just seems… seedy or something.”
February 28, 2025 at 6:46 PM
“I don’t know. It just seems… seedy or something.”
Text apps are a hard no. Don’t bother.
February 27, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Text apps are a hard no. Don’t bother.
Have the day you voted for 💛
(Photo from the 2019 federal election)
(Photo from the 2019 federal election)
February 27, 2025 at 1:17 PM
Have the day you voted for 💛
(Photo from the 2019 federal election)
(Photo from the 2019 federal election)
“Happy Friday!” says the out-of-touch white-collar worker to the bartender who’s likely working all weekend.
February 22, 2025 at 2:52 AM
“Happy Friday!” says the out-of-touch white-collar worker to the bartender who’s likely working all weekend.
Mikey Madison is vegan? As if she couldn’t get any better ❤️
February 12, 2025 at 1:25 AM
Mikey Madison is vegan? As if she couldn’t get any better ❤️
I watched ‘Babygirl’ the other day and I find it absolutely hilarious that I already have a plate of strawberry candies in my incall
February 10, 2025 at 12:51 AM
I watched ‘Babygirl’ the other day and I find it absolutely hilarious that I already have a plate of strawberry candies in my incall
“Mama always told me that I should play nice, but she didn’t know you when she gave me that advice”
February 9, 2025 at 8:19 PM
“Mama always told me that I should play nice, but she didn’t know you when she gave me that advice”