Danny Fuckin’ Bland
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dannybland.bsky.social
Danny Fuckin’ Bland
@dannybland.bsky.social
Tour managerist/ Novelist / Haikuist
Rest in peace, Dick Cheney. Another senseless loss to autoerotic asphyxiation.
November 4, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Travel trip:
If you’re at the Portland airport and see someone carrying a box of Voodoo Donuts they are a member of the Nation Guard. Spit on them and scream baby-killer and you will receive free drink tickets and be able to board your flight first.
October 17, 2025 at 5:55 PM
Other than that, how was the debate?
September 10, 2025 at 9:51 PM
Rest in peace, Charlie Kirk. Another senseless loss to autoerotic asphyxiation.
September 10, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Rest in peace, James Dobson. Another senseless loss to autoerotic asphyxiation.
August 22, 2025 at 4:08 PM
Happy birthday to Charlie Watts’ singer.
July 26, 2025 at 5:34 PM
To be honest I’d be more embarrassed about being caught at a Coldplay show than having an affair.
July 18, 2025 at 7:53 PM
I’m just glad American flag bikini season is over.
July 5, 2025 at 2:59 PM
The only thing I like about the 4th of July is the song 4th of July by Dave Alvin.
July 4, 2025 at 6:54 PM
I’m in Pittsburgh. For lunch I had a sandwich that came with french fries on top of it. For dinner I had a salad that came with french fries on top of it. I mean, these motherfuckers know how to live.
July 4, 2025 at 12:41 AM
Rest in peace, Jimmy Swaggart. Another senseless loss to autoerotic asphyxiation.
July 1, 2025 at 8:12 PM
I’m tired of all these AI/computer generated sing-songy pop songs. I declare the Monster Mash to be the feel good hit of Summer 2025. Eat shit, Sabrina Carpenter
June 18, 2025 at 6:43 PM
I don’t mean to get all political on here but when I eat Belgian chocolate I am ashamed to be an American.
June 7, 2025 at 8:57 PM
House of Blues is the Cracker Barrel of rock clubs.
fight me
May 16, 2025 at 9:58 PM
HBO’s True Blood lead me to believe there would be a ton of hot vampire guys in this part of Louisiana but nope, just me.
April 24, 2025 at 7:24 PM
Rest in peace, Pope Francis.
Another senseless loss to autoerotic asphyxiation.

🙏🏻
April 21, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Reposted by Danny Fuckin’ Bland
I want to meet the man who was stuck with an entire warehouse full of extra large Hawaiian shirts in 1980 and decided that instead of burning it to the ground for the insurance he would convince fans of blues rock that this would be part of their uniform for the next 45 years plus. Pure evil genius
March 25, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Remember that time Nick Cave was mean to the Red Hot Chili Peppers? I miss that.
March 23, 2025 at 7:54 PM
Everyone on this Keeping the Blues Alive at Sea Cruise needs to know that if we get shipwrecked I will cannibalize them - and I don’t mean after starving for a month I mean as soon as I can get a good fire started. You’ve been warned.
March 21, 2025 at 9:21 PM
On this International Women’s Day if you see a bunch of ladies in black robes with 500 year old books and ceremonial knives go off into the woods - no you didn’t.
March 8, 2025 at 8:55 PM
I’m 33 today. Now let me pet your dog and play backgammon with me. You, not your dog. Unless your dog knows how to play backgammon then that’s even better. Thank you for all your help. xx
March 3, 2025 at 5:05 PM
ACAB includes the lady workin the door at Madame Lou’s tonight.
February 27, 2025 at 4:03 AM
Love you 🖤 Mean it
February 14, 2025 at 2:50 PM
February 11, 2025 at 2:33 AM