Daniel Spenser
@danielspenser.bsky.social
Cartoons, graphics, comedy stuff for TV. Write jokes. I also make music and I'm sorry.
https://danielspenser.com/
https://danielspenser.com/
my favorite thing about working from home is drinking a big ol' glass of water and being real sloppy with it.
February 17, 2026 at 8:26 PM
my favorite thing about working from home is drinking a big ol' glass of water and being real sloppy with it.
This event is insane
February 16, 2026 at 10:09 PM
This event is insane
It's not nice to tell someone you hate their guts but apparently it's also weird to tell someone you love their guts?? Staying guts-neutrals from here on out.
February 12, 2026 at 10:40 PM
It's not nice to tell someone you hate their guts but apparently it's also weird to tell someone you love their guts?? Staying guts-neutrals from here on out.
Me: How about sandwiches for lunch?
Co-worker who watched a documentary last night: "Wow, this is just like the Morrill Land-Grant Act of 1862."
Co-worker who watched a documentary last night: "Wow, this is just like the Morrill Land-Grant Act of 1862."
February 10, 2026 at 7:54 PM
Me: How about sandwiches for lunch?
Co-worker who watched a documentary last night: "Wow, this is just like the Morrill Land-Grant Act of 1862."
Co-worker who watched a documentary last night: "Wow, this is just like the Morrill Land-Grant Act of 1862."
In the time before man, hogs from the Seven Kingdoms roamed the earth. Groundhog, Skyhog, Seahog and Spacehog lived together in harmony to create the seasons. Now only one groundhog remains and must bear this burden.
February 3, 2026 at 10:26 AM
In the time before man, hogs from the Seven Kingdoms roamed the earth. Groundhog, Skyhog, Seahog and Spacehog lived together in harmony to create the seasons. Now only one groundhog remains and must bear this burden.
The only "Big Game" I care about is the ten feet tall deer with a human head who ruled over the woods connected to my backyard when I was a kid, am I right?
February 3, 2026 at 10:16 AM
The only "Big Game" I care about is the ten feet tall deer with a human head who ruled over the woods connected to my backyard when I was a kid, am I right?
Hello my name is Dan Spenser and I'm reading for the part of Skeletor the skeleton in Masters of the Universe...
"NYEHHHH!"
Thanks so much, appreciate the opportunity
"NYEHHHH!"
Thanks so much, appreciate the opportunity
January 30, 2026 at 9:23 PM
Hello my name is Dan Spenser and I'm reading for the part of Skeletor the skeleton in Masters of the Universe...
"NYEHHHH!"
Thanks so much, appreciate the opportunity
"NYEHHHH!"
Thanks so much, appreciate the opportunity
Writing a Harry Potter show is the easiest thing in the world it's 98% people exclaiming "WELL DONE 'ARRY."
January 28, 2026 at 3:34 PM
Writing a Harry Potter show is the easiest thing in the world it's 98% people exclaiming "WELL DONE 'ARRY."
My favorite part of Hamnet is when Shakespeare says "I am inspired to invent a way to order hams online" and then he grabs his Macbook Air and starts coding furiously.
January 27, 2026 at 7:03 PM
My favorite part of Hamnet is when Shakespeare says "I am inspired to invent a way to order hams online" and then he grabs his Macbook Air and starts coding furiously.
Only thing you gotta know about me is i love stunning visuals
January 27, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Only thing you gotta know about me is i love stunning visuals
As we speak some horror auteur in Hollywood is coming up with a new kind of ghoul. I shudder to think!!
January 21, 2026 at 6:33 PM
As we speak some horror auteur in Hollywood is coming up with a new kind of ghoul. I shudder to think!!
Huge career news I was the bluefin tuna that fetched a record $3.2m at a Tokyo auction.
January 6, 2026 at 9:32 PM
Huge career news I was the bluefin tuna that fetched a record $3.2m at a Tokyo auction.
One day they will invent a computer powerful enough to sing "AI Slop" to the tune of "dirty pop" but until that day I am forced to do it myself.
January 6, 2026 at 11:42 AM
One day they will invent a computer powerful enough to sing "AI Slop" to the tune of "dirty pop" but until that day I am forced to do it myself.
What you don’t seem to understand is that these bags exist in a liminal space between messenger and tote. Over the shoulder, yes, but also large.
January 1, 2026 at 3:15 PM
What you don’t seem to understand is that these bags exist in a liminal space between messenger and tote. Over the shoulder, yes, but also large.
Last night I finally fulfilled my 2025 new year’s resolution (timed the dishwasher so it beeped exactly at midnight)
January 1, 2026 at 11:35 AM
Last night I finally fulfilled my 2025 new year’s resolution (timed the dishwasher so it beeped exactly at midnight)
December 31, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Getting my fool's errands out of the way first so I can do the smart guy's errands later.
December 26, 2025 at 8:08 PM
Getting my fool's errands out of the way first so I can do the smart guy's errands later.
Damn, Paddington knew the whole time
December 24, 2025 at 8:01 PM
Damn, Paddington knew the whole time
Ah yes, penguins. The Christmas flamingo.
December 23, 2025 at 9:26 AM
Ah yes, penguins. The Christmas flamingo.
Insane that Jack Black has made one movie where he teaches kids about rock music and like five where he is trapped in the jungle.
December 16, 2025 at 9:38 PM
Insane that Jack Black has made one movie where he teaches kids about rock music and like five where he is trapped in the jungle.
Gaston: "5 dozen eggs please."
Grocer: "Sorry, The Beast just came in and bought them all."
Gaston: "Then just gimme all of your chickens."
Grocer: "I don't have the chickens."
Gaston: {Panicking} "Okay then just gimme some eggs so I can make more chickens."
Grocer: "Buddy..."
Grocer: "Sorry, The Beast just came in and bought them all."
Gaston: "Then just gimme all of your chickens."
Grocer: "I don't have the chickens."
Gaston: {Panicking} "Okay then just gimme some eggs so I can make more chickens."
Grocer: "Buddy..."
I do not want Gaston backstory, I do not need Gaston backstory, I reject Gaston backstory
he is a fully formed oaf, consuming eggs by the dozen in one of the greatest villain songs ever written, and that is all we need of him
he is a fully formed oaf, consuming eggs by the dozen in one of the greatest villain songs ever written, and that is all we need of him
Disney Developing Live-Action ‘Gaston’ Movie From Writer Dave Callaham And Producer Michelle Rejwan
Disney is in early development on a new live-action pic centered on the Beauty and the Beast character Gaston.
deadline.com
December 16, 2025 at 10:20 AM
Gaston: "5 dozen eggs please."
Grocer: "Sorry, The Beast just came in and bought them all."
Gaston: "Then just gimme all of your chickens."
Grocer: "I don't have the chickens."
Gaston: {Panicking} "Okay then just gimme some eggs so I can make more chickens."
Grocer: "Buddy..."
Grocer: "Sorry, The Beast just came in and bought them all."
Gaston: "Then just gimme all of your chickens."
Grocer: "I don't have the chickens."
Gaston: {Panicking} "Okay then just gimme some eggs so I can make more chickens."
Grocer: "Buddy..."
{In the theater watching Atropia} Where the hell are the fox and the bunny?
December 16, 2025 at 10:11 AM
{In the theater watching Atropia} Where the hell are the fox and the bunny?
Spent all my Chanukah money on manuka honey. Truly a gift of the magi.
December 14, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Spent all my Chanukah money on manuka honey. Truly a gift of the magi.
If Bert is Bertram and Ernie is short for Ernest then Bernie should be short for Bertrarnest.
December 8, 2025 at 4:50 PM
If Bert is Bertram and Ernie is short for Ernest then Bernie should be short for Bertrarnest.
I have eaten
the marshmallows
that I bought
when I thought "fuck it, I'm buying marshmallows"
and which
you were probably
thinking
"a grown man should not eat that many marshmallows."
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and now I've simply to barf
the marshmallows
that I bought
when I thought "fuck it, I'm buying marshmallows"
and which
you were probably
thinking
"a grown man should not eat that many marshmallows."
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and now I've simply to barf
December 8, 2025 at 3:50 PM
I have eaten
the marshmallows
that I bought
when I thought "fuck it, I'm buying marshmallows"
and which
you were probably
thinking
"a grown man should not eat that many marshmallows."
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and now I've simply to barf
the marshmallows
that I bought
when I thought "fuck it, I'm buying marshmallows"
and which
you were probably
thinking
"a grown man should not eat that many marshmallows."
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and now I've simply to barf