Ira Lieman
@danceswvowels.bsky.social
Professional something-or-other.
Things I like: data 📊, dad jokes 🤡, music 🎹, baseball ⚾ (#LGM 🍎), traffic lights 🚥 but only when they're green ❇️, and emojis🕺!
I'm with the resistance Ω.
Things I like: data 📊, dad jokes 🤡, music 🎹, baseball ⚾ (#LGM 🍎), traffic lights 🚥 but only when they're green ❇️, and emojis🕺!
I'm with the resistance Ω.
I want to cancel my cable internet service because I will be moving (and renting out the house I will still own). Their retention department said I should keep it for $10/month and then transfer the service to the eventual renters. What is wrong with flipping the switch to cancel service?
November 13, 2025 at 6:38 PM
I want to cancel my cable internet service because I will be moving (and renting out the house I will still own). Their retention department said I should keep it for $10/month and then transfer the service to the eventual renters. What is wrong with flipping the switch to cancel service?
Nick Offerman for President for real this time.
November 13, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Nick Offerman for President for real this time.
Picked up my guitar in between meetings and started strumming four chords in a row. D, G, Em, A. Thought it sounded different. D, G, Em, A. Yeah, I don't think I ever heard that before. D, G, Em, A. Wait. Nope, it was "It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies.
November 5, 2025 at 9:04 PM
Picked up my guitar in between meetings and started strumming four chords in a row. D, G, Em, A. Thought it sounded different. D, G, Em, A. Yeah, I don't think I ever heard that before. D, G, Em, A. Wait. Nope, it was "It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies.
So hear me out. Cuomo, in losing, wants to move to Florida. Ron DeSantis, the current governor, is term limited. Cuomo already had Trump's backing for NYC Mayor. So, even though Cuomo is an ass, he's not NYC's problem anymore and can be Trump's choice for Florida Governor in 2026!
November 5, 2025 at 3:42 AM
So hear me out. Cuomo, in losing, wants to move to Florida. Ron DeSantis, the current governor, is term limited. Cuomo already had Trump's backing for NYC Mayor. So, even though Cuomo is an ass, he's not NYC's problem anymore and can be Trump's choice for Florida Governor in 2026!
If your Stratocaster has a whammy bar, don't miss the opportunity to call it a Fender bender.
October 20, 2025 at 3:17 PM
If your Stratocaster has a whammy bar, don't miss the opportunity to call it a Fender bender.
Technologists are generally not good at speaking to groups about their technologies. Finding a good speaker that can talk about the key points, answer questions from the audience, and get into examples for illustration is like finding an atom on a needle in a haystack.
October 16, 2025 at 6:31 PM
Technologists are generally not good at speaking to groups about their technologies. Finding a good speaker that can talk about the key points, answer questions from the audience, and get into examples for illustration is like finding an atom on a needle in a haystack.
It's a wonderful time to plan a mental health day 😵💫
October 15, 2025 at 12:56 AM
It's a wonderful time to plan a mental health day 😵💫
I will not turn the heat on until the 15th.
I will not turn the heat on until the 15th.
I will not turn the heat on until the 15th.
I will not turn the heat on until the 15th.
I will not turn the heat on until the 15th.
I will not turn the heat on until the 15th.
I will not turn the heat on until the 15th.
I will not turn the heat on until the 15th.
I will not turn the heat on until the 15th.
October 10, 2025 at 5:55 PM
I will not turn the heat on until the 15th.
I will not turn the heat on until the 15th.
I will not turn the heat on until the 15th.
I will not turn the heat on until the 15th.
I will not turn the heat on until the 15th.
I will not turn the heat on until the 15th.
I will not turn the heat on until the 15th.
I will not turn the heat on until the 15th.
I will not turn the heat on until the 15th.
"Stand clear of the closing doors, bing bong."
September 25, 2025 at 8:07 PM
"Stand clear of the closing doors, bing bong."
Man, I wish I were Jimmy Kimmel today. Jimmy has a good personal brand, lots of friends, significant means, and as of this week zero corporate oversight. Sure the "suspension" of his show sucks for his dozens of employees, but he now has the opportunity to lead his audience anywhere he wants to.
September 20, 2025 at 1:42 PM
Man, I wish I were Jimmy Kimmel today. Jimmy has a good personal brand, lots of friends, significant means, and as of this week zero corporate oversight. Sure the "suspension" of his show sucks for his dozens of employees, but he now has the opportunity to lead his audience anywhere he wants to.
Google wants me to see Morrissey tonight I guess.
September 16, 2025 at 11:40 PM
Google wants me to see Morrissey tonight I guess.
How long does it take for a former owner not to get mail at their former house? I've been here almost 5 years and the owner before me was here 3 years since the recipient of today's piece of mail sold.
September 16, 2025 at 10:58 PM
How long does it take for a former owner not to get mail at their former house? I've been here almost 5 years and the owner before me was here 3 years since the recipient of today's piece of mail sold.
On an internal conference call. "After this system is updated, it's going to be so wonderful."
Me: "From your mouth to god's ears."
21 people start laughing.
Me: "From your mouth to god's ears."
21 people start laughing.
September 15, 2025 at 7:29 PM
On an internal conference call. "After this system is updated, it's going to be so wonderful."
Me: "From your mouth to god's ears."
21 people start laughing.
Me: "From your mouth to god's ears."
21 people start laughing.
They want to penalize us for the short week. It's not a Wednesday, it's a Tuesday with knives.
September 3, 2025 at 10:11 PM
They want to penalize us for the short week. It's not a Wednesday, it's a Tuesday with knives.
Whoever needs to hear this: Jokes are funnier when all the words in the post are spelled correctly.
August 28, 2025 at 12:06 PM
Whoever needs to hear this: Jokes are funnier when all the words in the post are spelled correctly.
E6 = extra Montas. 😒
August 9, 2025 at 11:53 PM
E6 = extra Montas. 😒
It's not the pitching. Looking at 2025 overall the #Mets are still "above average" offensively as a team however since mid-June they've cratered. A whole-team slump for roughly 2 months. And although good relievers are nice we're not going to advance in the playoffs if the bats don't show up.
August 7, 2025 at 1:03 PM
It's not the pitching. Looking at 2025 overall the #Mets are still "above average" offensively as a team however since mid-June they've cratered. A whole-team slump for roughly 2 months. And although good relievers are nice we're not going to advance in the playoffs if the bats don't show up.
I've been taking out student loans for my 3 kids since 2017. My youngest starts college in the fall. It's a comical amount of money that is involved. And the best part is when I have to spend hours on the phone with the college to click a button on their end as if they've never done it before.
August 6, 2025 at 2:21 PM
I've been taking out student loans for my 3 kids since 2017. My youngest starts college in the fall. It's a comical amount of money that is involved. And the best part is when I have to spend hours on the phone with the college to click a button on their end as if they've never done it before.
Hear me out: Shake Shack Shakshuka
August 5, 2025 at 12:24 AM
Hear me out: Shake Shack Shakshuka
Holy crap it's August?
August 1, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Holy crap it's August?
As a delivery leader, I don't make commission for the work I help sell. The sales people are counting on me to present a proposal because they can't make the client meeting. I wonder if I should send them a Venmo invoice when I do their job for them.
July 31, 2025 at 5:14 PM
As a delivery leader, I don't make commission for the work I help sell. The sales people are counting on me to present a proposal because they can't make the client meeting. I wonder if I should send them a Venmo invoice when I do their job for them.
Those guys in the band Toto have had a great career but it was great business sense getting into bathroom fixtures.
July 27, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Those guys in the band Toto have had a great career but it was great business sense getting into bathroom fixtures.