Dale Tudge? Humor!
@daletudgehumor.bsky.social
Humourist and storyteller, but not necessarily both at the same time, or either at any time. Retired ghostwriter.
I've lent my pen to the likes of Steve Martin, National Lampoon, Ripley's Believe It or Not!
https://daletudge.substack.com/
I've lent my pen to the likes of Steve Martin, National Lampoon, Ripley's Believe It or Not!
https://daletudge.substack.com/
I'm not one to offer unsolicited #writing advice, but I'll offer you this, unsolicited: take my advice. If you're a #writer traveling abroad, carry a copy of Roget's International Thesaurus. Yes, the international one in case you haven't guessed.
And I continue...
1/2 #prose #verse #monologue
And I continue...
1/2 #prose #verse #monologue
November 23, 2025 at 3:31 AM
I'm not one to offer unsolicited #writing advice, but I'll offer you this, unsolicited: take my advice. If you're a #writer traveling abroad, carry a copy of Roget's International Thesaurus. Yes, the international one in case you haven't guessed.
And I continue...
1/2 #prose #verse #monologue
And I continue...
1/2 #prose #verse #monologue
The sidewinder gave me the #side-eye. Snakes don't have eyelids, so every stare carries unblinking judgment. The skunk gave me the stink-eye, though any eye from a skunk carries an implicit threat. The mystic called me "round-eye," which seemed less observation than accusation.
#blueskyrelay
#blueskyrelay
Looking for an emerging poet to host #BlueSkyRelay for the week beginning 3rd December.
The "how" is well-documented. Previous hosts are there for you! Reply to this post with interest!
So. The #BlueSkyRelay #prompt for 22nd November 2025 is #sideeye / #side-eye —
Hashtags, alt text, show&tell svp.
The "how" is well-documented. Previous hosts are there for you! Reply to this post with interest!
So. The #BlueSkyRelay #prompt for 22nd November 2025 is #sideeye / #side-eye —
Hashtags, alt text, show&tell svp.
November 22, 2025 at 10:26 PM
The sidewinder gave me the #side-eye. Snakes don't have eyelids, so every stare carries unblinking judgment. The skunk gave me the stink-eye, though any eye from a skunk carries an implicit threat. The mystic called me "round-eye," which seemed less observation than accusation.
#blueskyrelay
#blueskyrelay
Melody, a muse.
But for music, not for words.
We were out of tune.
#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #writing #poem
But for music, not for words.
We were out of tune.
#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #writing #poem
November 22, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Melody, a muse.
But for music, not for words.
We were out of tune.
#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #writing #poem
But for music, not for words.
We were out of tune.
#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #writing #poem
Cardigan? Sweater?
Possibly a sweater vest?
In vest I #invest.
#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #writing #poem
Possibly a sweater vest?
In vest I #invest.
#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #writing #poem
November 22, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Cardigan? Sweater?
Possibly a sweater vest?
In vest I #invest.
#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #writing #poem
Possibly a sweater vest?
In vest I #invest.
#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #writing #poem
The tomato sat in the lift like trouble in a red dress. I #measured the situation—classic gateway pun trap. Not the first time. Wilde found an aubergine in a dumbwaiter once, Thurber got caught by kumquats in pneumatic tubes. Tomatoes in elevators require immediate narrative intervention.
#vss365
#vss365
November 22, 2025 at 7:09 PM
The children asked for a "meerkitten," assuming it was a baby cat. It was painful, but necessary, to explain that a meerkat—baby or otherwise—is not a cat at all, but a #ferocious sand ferret with issues, one that would hunt down and destroy all their toys. They said that sounded "fun."
#emoetry
#emoetry
November 22, 2025 at 6:10 PM
The children asked for a "meerkitten," assuming it was a baby cat. It was painful, but necessary, to explain that a meerkat—baby or otherwise—is not a cat at all, but a #ferocious sand ferret with issues, one that would hunt down and destroy all their toys. They said that sounded "fun."
#emoetry
#emoetry
It has been heard by those to whom it was said, but by fewer and fewer each year, because most are dead. It makes no difference to anyone still around—it's harder and harder to remember what you had for breakfast than what you #read at the Subscription Library and may never read again.
#vss
#vss
November 22, 2025 at 4:49 AM
The Library of Alexandria wasn't destroyed—it decayed. Centuries of neglect reduced philosophy, astronomy, medicine to dust. But patrons with overdue #books? Accidental heroes (or thieves, per your librarian). No late fees. Why didn't they have a scroll to protect the other scrolls?
#vss #writing
#vss #writing
November 22, 2025 at 4:18 AM
I was pulled over for speeding.
"Surely there's been some mistake, officer," I said, proffering a laminated Monopoly "Get Out of Jail #Free" card.
He examined it briefly. "This wouldn't apply—speeding's only a fine."
"Oh, I'm aware. I'm bribing you with vintage Parker Bros. memorabilia."
#whistpr
"Surely there's been some mistake, officer," I said, proffering a laminated Monopoly "Get Out of Jail #Free" card.
He examined it briefly. "This wouldn't apply—speeding's only a fine."
"Oh, I'm aware. I'm bribing you with vintage Parker Bros. memorabilia."
#whistpr
November 22, 2025 at 12:39 AM
The devil is in the details. He's got a red pen in each hand, he's cross-referencing hoofnotes to hoofnotes, and he's so deep in the marginalia he's starting to tread ink.
I won't bore you with the #specifics, Elvis—they'd probably use up too many Bluesky characters anyhow.
#vss365
I won't bore you with the #specifics, Elvis—they'd probably use up too many Bluesky characters anyhow.
#vss365
November 22, 2025 at 12:28 AM
The devil is in the details. He's got a red pen in each hand, he's cross-referencing hoofnotes to hoofnotes, and he's so deep in the marginalia he's starting to tread ink.
I won't bore you with the #specifics, Elvis—they'd probably use up too many Bluesky characters anyhow.
#vss365
I won't bore you with the #specifics, Elvis—they'd probably use up too many Bluesky characters anyhow.
#vss365
Blue? You're playing right into the poets' hands here, and what delicate hands they are—soft, smooth, always protected with a lovely pair of gloves.
The #poet uses #blue to reinforce their melancholy, heighten their sadness, and #write about the gloves they left on the Jubilee Line.
#blueskyrelay
The #poet uses #blue to reinforce their melancholy, heighten their sadness, and #write about the gloves they left on the Jubilee Line.
#blueskyrelay
November 21, 2025 at 9:39 PM
Blue? You're playing right into the poets' hands here, and what delicate hands they are—soft, smooth, always protected with a lovely pair of gloves.
The #poet uses #blue to reinforce their melancholy, heighten their sadness, and #write about the gloves they left on the Jubilee Line.
#blueskyrelay
The #poet uses #blue to reinforce their melancholy, heighten their sadness, and #write about the gloves they left on the Jubilee Line.
#blueskyrelay
If there's no #vssdaily word—an inspirational loss most keenly felt—I still feel inspired to write a #vss story all the same. Not #stories that are all the same, mind you, but stories with #words that might inspire others to #write stories, or #poems, or todo lists written in cursive.
#vssdaley
#vssdaley
November 21, 2025 at 9:28 PM
You need no education to start #reading, though reading inevitably #educates you—expanding vocabularies, refining thinking, widening perception through subtle graduation ceremonies. The #bookish mind continually learns its lessons, passes its tests, earns its degrees without ever applying.
#emoetry
#emoetry
November 21, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Red Rose figurines:
porcelain from tea-tin days—
Wade’s “Wade Whimsies” gleam.
#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #writing #poem
porcelain from tea-tin days—
Wade’s “Wade Whimsies” gleam.
#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #writing #poem
November 21, 2025 at 6:23 PM
Red Rose figurines:
porcelain from tea-tin days—
Wade’s “Wade Whimsies” gleam.
#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #writing #poem
porcelain from tea-tin days—
Wade’s “Wade Whimsies” gleam.
#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #writing #poem
The Oolong? Long gone.
That shipment of tea has sailed.
So long, Oolong ship.
#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #writing #poem
That shipment of tea has sailed.
So long, Oolong ship.
#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #writing #poem
November 21, 2025 at 4:48 PM
The Oolong? Long gone.
That shipment of tea has sailed.
So long, Oolong ship.
#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #writing #poem
That shipment of tea has sailed.
So long, Oolong ship.
#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #writing #poem
A general statement is a statement so general it warrants being called general, while a #specific remark possesses such specificity that you can't help but remark upon how specifically specific it is—though whether the specificity is generally specific remains unspecified—generally speaking.
#vss365
#vss365
November 21, 2025 at 4:44 PM
A broadside posted outside the Plymouth shipping office promised:
"FREE PASSAGE to the SOUTH PACIFIC—Adventure Awaits!"
The ambiguity was specific: no ship named, no master identified, no duration mentioned, no destination specified beyond half an ocean. Unlikely a pleasure cruise.
#vss365
"FREE PASSAGE to the SOUTH PACIFIC—Adventure Awaits!"
The ambiguity was specific: no ship named, no master identified, no duration mentioned, no destination specified beyond half an ocean. Unlikely a pleasure cruise.
#vss365
November 21, 2025 at 2:10 PM
A broadside posted outside the Plymouth shipping office promised:
"FREE PASSAGE to the SOUTH PACIFIC—Adventure Awaits!"
The ambiguity was specific: no ship named, no master identified, no duration mentioned, no destination specified beyond half an ocean. Unlikely a pleasure cruise.
#vss365
"FREE PASSAGE to the SOUTH PACIFIC—Adventure Awaits!"
The ambiguity was specific: no ship named, no master identified, no duration mentioned, no destination specified beyond half an ocean. Unlikely a pleasure cruise.
#vss365
Sometimes you write the feeling of a thing rather than the thing itself. If the feeling you have about the thing you're writing lines up with the feeling the thing creates—that's a good thing.
#DogTags #PoemsAbout
@alanparrywriter.co.uk
@karenpgonzalez.bsky.social
@thebrokenspine.co.uk
#poem
#DogTags #PoemsAbout
@alanparrywriter.co.uk
@karenpgonzalez.bsky.social
@thebrokenspine.co.uk
#poem
November 21, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Sometimes you write the feeling of a thing rather than the thing itself. If the feeling you have about the thing you're writing lines up with the feeling the thing creates—that's a good thing.
#DogTags #PoemsAbout
@alanparrywriter.co.uk
@karenpgonzalez.bsky.social
@thebrokenspine.co.uk
#poem
#DogTags #PoemsAbout
@alanparrywriter.co.uk
@karenpgonzalez.bsky.social
@thebrokenspine.co.uk
#poem
The Maginot Line, yes—quite the line, the liniest of lines. A #defensive line that lined the land with line-like linearity. One cannot overstate its alignment, its delineation, its sheer linedness. If ever a line defined the line between lines, it was this line. Until when it wasn’t.
#emoetry #vss
#emoetry #vss
November 21, 2025 at 1:54 AM
The Maginot Line, yes—quite the line, the liniest of lines. A #defensive line that lined the land with line-like linearity. One cannot overstate its alignment, its delineation, its sheer linedness. If ever a line defined the line between lines, it was this line. Until when it wasn’t.
#emoetry #vss
#emoetry #vss
Evelyn insisted we'd "merely detour" from Djibouti to inspect Karnak's Temple of Amun. "Research purposes," he said. I suspected he'd confused Amun—the Egyptian deity—with #Amen, the #blessed cue to stop talking. The distinction was theological. Either way, it was "splendid material."
#inkmine #vss
#inkmine #vss
November 21, 2025 at 12:52 AM
For every #action (the Newtonian variety)—that is to say, action in the physical, not dramatic sense—an equal and opposite reaction must occur.
I sent a letter. She responded. I responded to her response. She replied. I've been trapped in this TwilightZonian postal loop for decades.
#vss365 #scifi
I sent a letter. She responded. I responded to her response. She replied. I've been trapped in this TwilightZonian postal loop for decades.
#vss365 #scifi
November 21, 2025 at 12:36 AM
We'd been canoeing through suspiciously peaceful water for too long. No birds. No insects. Just the rhythmic splash of our paddles.
Then—the rush of falling water, loud enough to drown all plausibility.
"It's behind the next #bend, isn't it?"
"It always is," said the universe.
#whistpr #vss
Then—the rush of falling water, loud enough to drown all plausibility.
"It's behind the next #bend, isn't it?"
"It always is," said the universe.
#whistpr #vss
November 21, 2025 at 12:18 AM
He chilled the glass with cryogenic vapour, added nine precise drops of neutron-lime, and floated a filament of liquid metal. The drink gleamed like quicksilver.
"How is your cocktail?"
"It’s a tad #mercurial."
He nodded, satisfied. "Yes, it's seventy-five percent mercury."
#blueskyrelay
"How is your cocktail?"
"It’s a tad #mercurial."
He nodded, satisfied. "Yes, it's seventy-five percent mercury."
#blueskyrelay
November 21, 2025 at 12:05 AM
He chilled the glass with cryogenic vapour, added nine precise drops of neutron-lime, and floated a filament of liquid metal. The drink gleamed like quicksilver.
"How is your cocktail?"
"It’s a tad #mercurial."
He nodded, satisfied. "Yes, it's seventy-five percent mercury."
#blueskyrelay
"How is your cocktail?"
"It’s a tad #mercurial."
He nodded, satisfied. "Yes, it's seventy-five percent mercury."
#blueskyrelay
The #mind is fragile
as frail as Humpty Dumpty,
now, a scrambled shell.
#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #writing #poem
#Nietzsche
as frail as Humpty Dumpty,
now, a scrambled shell.
#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #writing #poem
#Nietzsche
November 20, 2025 at 5:20 PM
The #mind is fragile
as frail as Humpty Dumpty,
now, a scrambled shell.
#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #writing #poem
#Nietzsche
as frail as Humpty Dumpty,
now, a scrambled shell.
#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #writing #poem
#Nietzsche
The plan was in #action, though no one was entirely sure which plan it was. But there was a plan. It might've been a plan within a plan—a parasitic sub-plan that latched onto the original plan, siphoned off its ideas, and then claimed them as its own—all part of the sub-plan's master plan.
#vss365
#vss365
November 20, 2025 at 4:23 PM