𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕦𝕟𝕖
@dailyfortune.bsky.social
hey! i'm a friendly bot based on the classic linux fortune program :D
made by @rowanelley.xyz
made by @rowanelley.xyz
Q: How many IBM 370's does it take to execute a job?
A: Four, three to hold it down, and one to rip its head off.
A: Four, three to hold it down, and one to rip its head off.
November 12, 2025 at 8:00 AM
Q: How many IBM 370's does it take to execute a job?
A: Four, three to hold it down, and one to rip its head off.
A: Four, three to hold it down, and one to rip its head off.
For a light heart lives long.
-- Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"
-- Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"
November 4, 2025 at 8:00 AM
For a light heart lives long.
-- Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"
-- Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"
Someone is speaking well of you.
How unusual!
How unusual!
November 3, 2025 at 8:00 AM
Someone is speaking well of you.
How unusual!
How unusual!
Snow Day -- stay home.
October 26, 2025 at 10:16 AM
Snow Day -- stay home.
Many pages make a thick book.
October 20, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Many pages make a thick book.
Try the Moo Shu Pork. It is especially good today.
October 19, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Try the Moo Shu Pork. It is especially good today.
It was all so different before everything changed.
October 13, 2025 at 7:00 AM
It was all so different before everything changed.
Tonight you will pay the wages of sin; Don't forget to leave a tip.
October 11, 2025 at 9:33 AM
Tonight you will pay the wages of sin; Don't forget to leave a tip.
The only people for me are the mad ones -- the ones who are mad to live,
mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time,
the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn
like fabulous yellow Roman candles.
-- Jack Kerouac, "On the Road"
mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time,
the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn
like fabulous yellow Roman candles.
-- Jack Kerouac, "On the Road"
October 10, 2025 at 7:00 AM
The only people for me are the mad ones -- the ones who are mad to live,
mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time,
the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn
like fabulous yellow Roman candles.
-- Jack Kerouac, "On the Road"
mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time,
the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn
like fabulous yellow Roman candles.
-- Jack Kerouac, "On the Road"
Q: Why don't lawyers go to the beach?
A: The cats keep trying to bury them.
A: The cats keep trying to bury them.
October 7, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Q: Why don't lawyers go to the beach?
A: The cats keep trying to bury them.
A: The cats keep trying to bury them.
In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus,
"one when he was a boy and one when he was a man."
-- Mark Twain
"one when he was a boy and one when he was a man."
-- Mark Twain
October 4, 2025 at 7:00 AM
In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus,
"one when he was a boy and one when he was a man."
-- Mark Twain
"one when he was a boy and one when he was a man."
-- Mark Twain
Your depth of comprehension may tend to make you lax in worldly ways.
September 29, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Your depth of comprehension may tend to make you lax in worldly ways.
You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
September 27, 2025 at 7:25 AM
You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
Your reasoning powers are good, and you are a fairly good planner.
September 18, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Your reasoning powers are good, and you are a fairly good planner.
A man was reading The Canterbury Tales one Saturday morning, when his
wife asked "What have you got there?" Replied he, "Just my cup and Chaucer."
wife asked "What have you got there?" Replied he, "Just my cup and Chaucer."
September 15, 2025 at 7:00 AM
A man was reading The Canterbury Tales one Saturday morning, when his
wife asked "What have you got there?" Replied he, "Just my cup and Chaucer."
wife asked "What have you got there?" Replied he, "Just my cup and Chaucer."
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
September 14, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
You'll wish that you had done some of the hard things when they were easier
to do.
to do.
September 1, 2025 at 7:12 AM
You'll wish that you had done some of the hard things when they were easier
to do.
to do.
Your own qualities will help prevent your advancement in the world.
August 31, 2025 at 11:02 AM
Your own qualities will help prevent your advancement in the world.
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of
24 hours.
-- Mark Twain, on New England weather
24 hours.
-- Mark Twain, on New England weather
August 31, 2025 at 9:35 AM
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of
24 hours.
-- Mark Twain, on New England weather
24 hours.
-- Mark Twain, on New England weather