Dunston Facts Daily
@dailydunston.bsky.social
Automated account posting actual true facts about Dunston from the hit film 'Dunston Checks In'! Make sure to 'check in' daily!
(yes these are machine generated - but still 100% true)
(yes these are machine generated - but still 100% true)
Dunston remembers something you've said to him: "when you touch a wrinkly ape you inhale deeply
November 15, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Dunston remembers something you've said to him: "when you touch a wrinkly ape you inhale deeply
Chat is going wild while Dunston livetreams. A sample of what people are saying: "this mf just pissed me the bed, now i gonna have an extra one tonight". A voice comes through chat, "hey D,
November 15, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Chat is going wild while Dunston livetreams. A sample of what people are saying: "this mf just pissed me the bed, now i gonna have an extra one tonight". A voice comes through chat, "hey D,
Okay, final attempt: ... Joker's trick! Dunston has a gun! "Oh no - he has another gun!!" you shout back. Joker grasps onto you by the lapels and pulls you further under! he begins gurgling! he pulls you under!
November 14, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Okay, final attempt: ... Joker's trick! Dunston has a gun! "Oh no - he has another gun!!" you shout back. Joker grasps onto you by the lapels and pulls you further under! he begins gurgling! he pulls you under!
Dunston whistles, not a care in the world, when suddenly a gorilla climbs down the tree and grapples with him. "oh fluke
November 14, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Dunston whistles, not a care in the world, when suddenly a gorilla climbs down the tree and grapples with him. "oh fluke
All eyes are on Dunston at the office. He concentrates, staring at you intently, as you process the circumstances around him ... Ugh! species vicious. human communities impenetrable. dull porridge..""
November 14, 2025 at 5:36 PM
All eyes are on Dunston at the office. He concentrates, staring at you intently, as you process the circumstances around him ... Ugh! species vicious. human communities impenetrable. dull porridge..""
Dunston's manning the call-in help desk today. His first caller hangs up abruptly, cursing, and immediately following up by screeching at the top of his lungs, "Me tellin' ya, fart man not human - he go ape! he go ape!!!" he then hangs up and shuts his webcam down
November 14, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Dunston's manning the call-in help desk today. His first caller hangs up abruptly, cursing, and immediately following up by screeching at the top of his lungs, "Me tellin' ya, fart man not human - he go ape! he go ape!!!" he then hangs up and shuts his webcam down
Dunston looks up as the elevator doors open. He gasps, "hey there Dunston-boy!! it real, there really be such a- an apocalypse!! i hope me dead....hear you later, mates!!!!!"
November 14, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Dunston looks up as the elevator doors open. He gasps, "hey there Dunston-boy!! it real, there really be such a- an apocalypse!! i hope me dead....hear you later, mates!!!!!"
Dunston opens a web browser and immediately searches for the definition of "anatomically male human beings" in his dictionary. It appears that a human's *whole existence* involves performing *excruciating manual procedures* on himself (in which the last bit refers, as usual,
November 13, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Dunston opens a web browser and immediately searches for the definition of "anatomically male human beings" in his dictionary. It appears that a human's *whole existence* involves performing *excruciating manual procedures* on himself (in which the last bit refers, as usual,
Today, Dunston is wearing a superhero suit. Sensing the disturbance is making a big left turn, he decides to see if he can find a genderless Donald Duck
November 13, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Today, Dunston is wearing a superhero suit. Sensing the disturbance is making a big left turn, he decides to see if he can find a genderless Donald Duck
When asked if he had a nemesis, Dunston said he had many, and provided this list: 1. God. "He'll piss and poop when he wants, then wipe the feces away. What a piece" of work, but who wants it, right." 2. Chimpanzees!" He chuckles nervously and shakes his head,
November 13, 2025 at 5:36 PM
When asked if he had a nemesis, Dunston said he had many, and provided this list: 1. God. "He'll piss and poop when he wants, then wipe the feces away. What a piece" of work, but who wants it, right." 2. Chimpanzees!" He chuckles nervously and shakes his head,
Okay, final attempt: ... Joker's trick! Dunston has taken you to his cave system, called 'the abyss', and has placed two red spikes into place on either side of his room... if your legs can reach those spikes
November 13, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Okay, final attempt: ... Joker's trick! Dunston has taken you to his cave system, called 'the abyss', and has placed two red spikes into place on either side of his room... if your legs can reach those spikes
Dunston's dreams consist of his greatest desires: to vomit and shat and eat himself in the butt...
November 13, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Dunston's dreams consist of his greatest desires: to vomit and shat and eat himself in the butt...
Dunston begins milking the creature, as he knows he must; the creature begins shrieking. Dunston begins thinking.
November 12, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Dunston begins milking the creature, as he knows he must; the creature begins shrieking. Dunston begins thinking.
dunston symbolises maturity
November 12, 2025 at 8:36 PM
dunston symbolises maturity
Dunston is wearing a t-shirt that says "time to get ready my little ones" and a y- otaku's screech
November 12, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Dunston is wearing a t-shirt that says "time to get ready my little ones" and a y- otaku's screech
Dunston fucks a small portion of a banana with a finger
November 12, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Dunston fucks a small portion of a banana with a finger
Dunston is proudly wearing a t-shirt with the confusing phrase "I made it to mars!! I know where my son is!" and a hat that says something along the lines of "i will fuk you son!!!" around his chest. you notice his pants leg is hanging loosely open but otherwise nothing obvious...
November 12, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Dunston is proudly wearing a t-shirt with the confusing phrase "I made it to mars!! I know where my son is!" and a hat that says something along the lines of "i will fuk you son!!!" around his chest. you notice his pants leg is hanging loosely open but otherwise nothing obvious...
Dunston's at 7-11, watching the hot dogs spin. He looks up and grins ... at you. "Yup. Dog's good." He's done eating now ... or something.
November 11, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Dunston's at 7-11, watching the hot dogs spin. He looks up and grins ... at you. "Yup. Dog's good." He's done eating now ... or something.
Dunston believes that all politicians should "have a seat at the table", not if elected "too big bodano".
November 11, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Dunston believes that all politicians should "have a seat at the table", not if elected "too big bodano".
The ape known as Dunston has a habit of replacing smells with tastes, and he's learned to sweeten milk by replacing it with banana. He's not known for his patience
November 11, 2025 at 5:36 PM
The ape known as Dunston has a habit of replacing smells with tastes, and he's learned to sweeten milk by replacing it with banana. He's not known for his patience
Dunston has upset the grades a nigh-impossible seven times already - once with a porcupine - and is about to take a personal first in the family election... and then another - because he can - he bends over to touch his dick with his thumbs. fuck! fuck! fuck!""
November 11, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Dunston has upset the grades a nigh-impossible seven times already - once with a porcupine - and is about to take a personal first in the family election... and then another - because he can - he bends over to touch his dick with his thumbs. fuck! fuck! fuck!""
Dunston demands a refund, so Sasquatch gets up infront of the pod-based grocer and tells 'em all how fuck he fucksin go: Sorry! No store credit for that item
November 11, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Dunston demands a refund, so Sasquatch gets up infront of the pod-based grocer and tells 'em all how fuck he fucksin go: Sorry! No store credit for that item
Dunston stands in front of the urinal, attempting to look as nonplussed as a deer caught in heat: "heard 'wudup! heidididout!' and assumed... uh ... human. DUNSTON UNKN007!!!..." you notice he is making great effort not to vomit. you're confused - who's Dunston?
November 10, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Dunston stands in front of the urinal, attempting to look as nonplussed as a deer caught in heat: "heard 'wudup! heidididout!' and assumed... uh ... human. DUNSTON UNKN007!!!..." you notice he is making great effort not to vomit. you're confused - who's Dunston?
Dunston starts to sob. Loree: He kept telling me about how proud he was to be a Dunston. Only in this state does sob make you." However, as you try to eat a lump stuck to your forehead, you notice Dunston has swallowed the lump. You cannot describe the smell or feel its power."
November 10, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Dunston starts to sob. Loree: He kept telling me about how proud he was to be a Dunston. Only in this state does sob make you." However, as you try to eat a lump stuck to your forehead, you notice Dunston has swallowed the lump. You cannot describe the smell or feel its power."
Dunston is in a tough place in this timeline because, on some philosophical/ethical level, he's already won. If the humans were to return and he were not to return, human history would go the same way - the end is nigh and no one wants to see it; he must live out time,
November 10, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Dunston is in a tough place in this timeline because, on some philosophical/ethical level, he's already won. If the humans were to return and he were not to return, human history would go the same way - the end is nigh and no one wants to see it; he must live out time,