Carson
@crushmap.bsky.social
the employee who used to say "real" on every phone call has now started saying "by the way" every time she asks a question on the phone
"Are you on a computer or phone by the way?"
"Okay and is there an error on the screen by the way?"
I noticed this yesterday but it's still happening today 😂
"Are you on a computer or phone by the way?"
"Okay and is there an error on the screen by the way?"
I noticed this yesterday but it's still happening today 😂
January 28, 2026 at 5:11 PM
the employee who used to say "real" on every phone call has now started saying "by the way" every time she asks a question on the phone
"Are you on a computer or phone by the way?"
"Okay and is there an error on the screen by the way?"
I noticed this yesterday but it's still happening today 😂
"Are you on a computer or phone by the way?"
"Okay and is there an error on the screen by the way?"
I noticed this yesterday but it's still happening today 😂
don't worry babe, I charged your toy
January 25, 2026 at 1:09 AM
don't worry babe, I charged your toy
cozy winter storm vibes
January 24, 2026 at 2:00 PM
cozy winter storm vibes
I know I'm hot and funny and smart and kind, but I'm also a huge nerd and that doesn't always balance out
January 22, 2026 at 10:21 PM
I know I'm hot and funny and smart and kind, but I'm also a huge nerd and that doesn't always balance out
I don't actually work out, I just push the cart at Costco 💪💪
January 19, 2026 at 9:42 PM
I don't actually work out, I just push the cart at Costco 💪💪
when I was in college, I went shopping with my roommate and his mom. In the toilet paper aisle, his mother said, "my son has to use angel soft because he's got an angel soft booty"
I told my friends that story today and then followed it up with, "that's why my charming ass has to use Charmin"
I told my friends that story today and then followed it up with, "that's why my charming ass has to use Charmin"
January 19, 2026 at 9:38 PM
when I was in college, I went shopping with my roommate and his mom. In the toilet paper aisle, his mother said, "my son has to use angel soft because he's got an angel soft booty"
I told my friends that story today and then followed it up with, "that's why my charming ass has to use Charmin"
I told my friends that story today and then followed it up with, "that's why my charming ass has to use Charmin"
I fucking love Costco
January 19, 2026 at 6:13 PM
I fucking love Costco
you're telling me a coco nutted in this shrimp?
January 19, 2026 at 5:13 PM
you're telling me a coco nutted in this shrimp?
friendly reminder to rename the "In Case of Emergency" contact in your phone
January 19, 2026 at 3:43 PM
friendly reminder to rename the "In Case of Emergency" contact in your phone
I actually do my best work without pants on
January 16, 2026 at 11:50 PM
I actually do my best work without pants on
I need to be hit with an electric shovel
I don't think a normal one will get the job done
I don't think a normal one will get the job done
January 16, 2026 at 8:55 PM
I need to be hit with an electric shovel
I don't think a normal one will get the job done
I don't think a normal one will get the job done
I can't stop reading baked like naked
January 16, 2026 at 8:06 PM
I can't stop reading baked like naked
well, that was really nice 🫠
January 16, 2026 at 6:48 PM
well, that was really nice 🫠
I'm literally not making a new threads account if it stays suspended
I'll just get abs instead
I'll just get abs instead
January 15, 2026 at 8:52 PM
I'm literally not making a new threads account if it stays suspended
I'll just get abs instead
I'll just get abs instead
threads is missing all kinds of content today
January 15, 2026 at 7:17 PM
threads is missing all kinds of content today
been a while since I suited up
January 15, 2026 at 6:51 PM
been a while since I suited up
me coming back to bsky because my situationship blocked me
January 15, 2026 at 5:03 PM
me coming back to bsky because my situationship blocked me
say you can't breathe?
baby, I know
that's that monster cock yo
baby, I know
that's that monster cock yo
January 15, 2026 at 1:17 PM
say you can't breathe?
baby, I know
that's that monster cock yo
baby, I know
that's that monster cock yo
in the mood to be sandwiched between two women
but I'm playing chess puzzles instead
but I'm playing chess puzzles instead
January 6, 2026 at 11:52 PM
in the mood to be sandwiched between two women
but I'm playing chess puzzles instead
but I'm playing chess puzzles instead
have any wounds that need licking?
January 3, 2026 at 1:15 AM
have any wounds that need licking?
guys, I have something I need to get off on your chest
January 1, 2026 at 8:05 AM
guys, I have something I need to get off on your chest
"I would eat you for breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, afternoon tea, dinner, and second dinner"
January 1, 2026 at 5:20 AM
"I would eat you for breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, afternoon tea, dinner, and second dinner"
"if he breaks your heart, find me"
January 1, 2026 at 2:27 AM
"if he breaks your heart, find me"
the Kola old fashioned was very good
January 1, 2026 at 2:15 AM
the Kola old fashioned was very good