Ian
@crayman.bsky.social
Coming to you live from an abandoned radio tower deep within the Ultra Low Emissions Zone
My one sentence horror story -
"Oh, I only read non-fiction."
"Oh, I only read non-fiction."
December 8, 2025 at 11:15 AM
My one sentence horror story -
"Oh, I only read non-fiction."
"Oh, I only read non-fiction."
Didn’t they teach paragraphs at Quantico Scully?
November 23, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Didn’t they teach paragraphs at Quantico Scully?
France Review:
Eiffel Tower 3/5 - Long wait for lifts.
Chateau Versailles - 4/5 Biggest and fanciest place. Tourists there suck tho
Trianon - 5/5 - Secret best bit
Louvre 4/5 - Getting inside is terrible even with timed ticket
Notre Dam 5/5
Sacré-Cœur - 2/5 - Area is full of aggressive scammers
Eiffel Tower 3/5 - Long wait for lifts.
Chateau Versailles - 4/5 Biggest and fanciest place. Tourists there suck tho
Trianon - 5/5 - Secret best bit
Louvre 4/5 - Getting inside is terrible even with timed ticket
Notre Dam 5/5
Sacré-Cœur - 2/5 - Area is full of aggressive scammers
November 16, 2025 at 2:51 PM
France Review:
Eiffel Tower 3/5 - Long wait for lifts.
Chateau Versailles - 4/5 Biggest and fanciest place. Tourists there suck tho
Trianon - 5/5 - Secret best bit
Louvre 4/5 - Getting inside is terrible even with timed ticket
Notre Dam 5/5
Sacré-Cœur - 2/5 - Area is full of aggressive scammers
Eiffel Tower 3/5 - Long wait for lifts.
Chateau Versailles - 4/5 Biggest and fanciest place. Tourists there suck tho
Trianon - 5/5 - Secret best bit
Louvre 4/5 - Getting inside is terrible even with timed ticket
Notre Dam 5/5
Sacré-Cœur - 2/5 - Area is full of aggressive scammers
First attempt at speaking to someone in France -
Me: “Bonjour! Parlez-vous anglais?”
Them: “What?”
Me: “Bonjour! Parlez-vous anglais?”
Them: “What?”
November 14, 2025 at 3:23 PM
First attempt at speaking to someone in France -
Me: “Bonjour! Parlez-vous anglais?”
Them: “What?”
Me: “Bonjour! Parlez-vous anglais?”
Them: “What?”
<- helpfully carries someone's suitcase
"You can use the roly wheels"
"Honestly I prefer to just carry it."
"But the wheels..."
"I really find them annoying and it's not that heavy"
"But you can just drag it with the wheels?"
"I hate the wheels!"
"JUST USE THE WHEELS"
"I WOULD RATHER DIE"
"You can use the roly wheels"
"Honestly I prefer to just carry it."
"But the wheels..."
"I really find them annoying and it's not that heavy"
"But you can just drag it with the wheels?"
"I hate the wheels!"
"JUST USE THE WHEELS"
"I WOULD RATHER DIE"
November 6, 2025 at 9:20 PM
<- helpfully carries someone's suitcase
"You can use the roly wheels"
"Honestly I prefer to just carry it."
"But the wheels..."
"I really find them annoying and it's not that heavy"
"But you can just drag it with the wheels?"
"I hate the wheels!"
"JUST USE THE WHEELS"
"I WOULD RATHER DIE"
"You can use the roly wheels"
"Honestly I prefer to just carry it."
"But the wheels..."
"I really find them annoying and it's not that heavy"
"But you can just drag it with the wheels?"
"I hate the wheels!"
"JUST USE THE WHEELS"
"I WOULD RATHER DIE"
In the ticket description write a list of the Functional and Non-Functional smoothies
October 28, 2025 at 12:45 PM
In the ticket description write a list of the Functional and Non-Functional smoothies
Remember: Spring back, Fall forward
October 24, 2025 at 11:28 AM
Remember: Spring back, Fall forward
I'm pretty good at figuring out when people accidentally write 'not' meaning 'now' (Eg. "It's not working"), and other way around. It's basically a superpower.
October 23, 2025 at 10:53 AM
I'm pretty good at figuring out when people accidentally write 'not' meaning 'now' (Eg. "It's not working"), and other way around. It's basically a superpower.
As a reasonably Uncle-coded person, I aspire to live up to the definition from DHMIS
DHMIS Lily Explains what an Uncle is | Episode 3 Family
YouTube video by Cortez Dragon
www.youtube.com
October 19, 2025 at 3:06 PM
As a reasonably Uncle-coded person, I aspire to live up to the definition from DHMIS
I'm doing some good harbinging today, so watch out for that
October 16, 2025 at 1:20 PM
I'm doing some good harbinging today, so watch out for that
Local saying: A stopped clock is 25-minutes fast twice a day.
October 11, 2025 at 7:55 PM
Local saying: A stopped clock is 25-minutes fast twice a day.
Not sure star wars should have wicker
October 6, 2025 at 7:59 AM
Not sure star wars should have wicker
Old plan: Less anime
New plan: More anime
New plan: More anime
September 29, 2025 at 10:20 AM
Old plan: Less anime
New plan: More anime
New plan: More anime
Fun tip:
Replace a few of your commonly used items with identical versions but in different colours. Enjoy the sense of unease that follows where you wonder if you've slipped into an alternate dimension. Ask your friends if they know how you can get back to the 'Blue backpack dimension'
Replace a few of your commonly used items with identical versions but in different colours. Enjoy the sense of unease that follows where you wonder if you've slipped into an alternate dimension. Ask your friends if they know how you can get back to the 'Blue backpack dimension'
September 26, 2025 at 4:09 PM
Fun tip:
Replace a few of your commonly used items with identical versions but in different colours. Enjoy the sense of unease that follows where you wonder if you've slipped into an alternate dimension. Ask your friends if they know how you can get back to the 'Blue backpack dimension'
Replace a few of your commonly used items with identical versions but in different colours. Enjoy the sense of unease that follows where you wonder if you've slipped into an alternate dimension. Ask your friends if they know how you can get back to the 'Blue backpack dimension'
Earlier this year I stayed somewhere with a close view of golf happening. I was struck by how little anyone seemed to be enjoying it. Just a bunch of people seemingly grumpy about how their golf is going.
September 26, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Earlier this year I stayed somewhere with a close view of golf happening. I was struck by how little anyone seemed to be enjoying it. Just a bunch of people seemingly grumpy about how their golf is going.
Normal occurrences in Paternoster Square
September 23, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Normal occurrences in Paternoster Square
Getting in your car after the garage guy drove it, and the seat is so low you can only really see the sky. He wasn't that tall!
September 22, 2025 at 1:27 PM
Getting in your car after the garage guy drove it, and the seat is so low you can only really see the sky. He wasn't that tall!
NowTV: Your home for those blue/yellow type shows. (Also, we can’t decide which of them is our second most favourite)
September 21, 2025 at 4:27 PM
NowTV: Your home for those blue/yellow type shows. (Also, we can’t decide which of them is our second most favourite)
Ooh, a 20 minute video on a disaster I've never heard of that sounds vaguely troubling.
"To truly understand the Bicester Windmill Disaster of 1993, we have to go back to Lord Millington-Forthsythe Brown who was born in 1723 and invented the gyrating sprocket. But first we must go to 121 BC when..."
"To truly understand the Bicester Windmill Disaster of 1993, we have to go back to Lord Millington-Forthsythe Brown who was born in 1723 and invented the gyrating sprocket. But first we must go to 121 BC when..."
September 18, 2025 at 3:44 PM
Ooh, a 20 minute video on a disaster I've never heard of that sounds vaguely troubling.
"To truly understand the Bicester Windmill Disaster of 1993, we have to go back to Lord Millington-Forthsythe Brown who was born in 1723 and invented the gyrating sprocket. But first we must go to 121 BC when..."
"To truly understand the Bicester Windmill Disaster of 1993, we have to go back to Lord Millington-Forthsythe Brown who was born in 1723 and invented the gyrating sprocket. But first we must go to 121 BC when..."
Every time I leave my flat, I walk down three identical staircases. Sometimes there are four flights, and sometimes just two. You may think it’s probably just related to my mental health at the time. But no, pretty sure it changes for real. Also my neighbours are demonic blob monsters.
September 15, 2025 at 6:25 PM
Every time I leave my flat, I walk down three identical staircases. Sometimes there are four flights, and sometimes just two. You may think it’s probably just related to my mental health at the time. But no, pretty sure it changes for real. Also my neighbours are demonic blob monsters.
No promises, grim portal.
September 14, 2025 at 9:22 AM
No promises, grim portal.
"Maybe it'll come in the second post?"
It never did
It never did
September 11, 2025 at 7:13 PM
"Maybe it'll come in the second post?"
It never did
It never did
Reposting this from 2017 to upset a new platform
September 11, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Reposting this from 2017 to upset a new platform
Meeting someone you know randomly on the tube always seems off. Oh so we just happened to be travelling at the exact same time and got on the same part of the same carriage of the same train? Yeah right. Bad writing coincidence bullshit. Went downhill after season 3.
September 2, 2025 at 8:21 AM
Meeting someone you know randomly on the tube always seems off. Oh so we just happened to be travelling at the exact same time and got on the same part of the same carriage of the same train? Yeah right. Bad writing coincidence bullshit. Went downhill after season 3.