@craigk328.bsky.social
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Fish fingers, chips & beans four nights in a row. No regrets.
February 15, 2026 at 8:20 PM
Fish fingers, chips & beans four nights in a row. No regrets.
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I'm really annoyed that the 3 digit code on my new debit card is 666 but I obviously can't tell anyone.
February 15, 2026 at 7:20 PM
I'm really annoyed that the 3 digit code on my new debit card is 666 but I obviously can't tell anyone.
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Got caught up in a romance scam. Second date, the scammers sent a different girl but I was so desperate for the company I went along with it.
February 15, 2026 at 12:20 PM
Got caught up in a romance scam. Second date, the scammers sent a different girl but I was so desperate for the company I went along with it.
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Twenty years ago I slept with my best mate's wife, my boss, my wife's cousin and the fit bar-maid from the pub. Thought I was the bee's knees when actually I ruined my life in the space of five months.
February 15, 2026 at 1:20 PM
Twenty years ago I slept with my best mate's wife, my boss, my wife's cousin and the fit bar-maid from the pub. Thought I was the bee's knees when actually I ruined my life in the space of five months.
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I've got my Politics A Level exam this summer and I'm dreading having to write about how elections are won because of a combination of common sense factors while being totally aware it's more because of tinfoil hat-levels of conspiring by stupid rich people
February 15, 2026 at 3:20 PM
I've got my Politics A Level exam this summer and I'm dreading having to write about how elections are won because of a combination of common sense factors while being totally aware it's more because of tinfoil hat-levels of conspiring by stupid rich people
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21yrs old, leaving a pub, and a laughing drunk man punched me randomly. I had no idea how to fight, but threw a wild punch back that he stepped right into and was knocked out. I had a strong feral urge to piss on him. Didn't but still think about how we're just monkeys in shoes.
February 15, 2026 at 5:20 PM
21yrs old, leaving a pub, and a laughing drunk man punched me randomly. I had no idea how to fight, but threw a wild punch back that he stepped right into and was knocked out. I had a strong feral urge to piss on him. Didn't but still think about how we're just monkeys in shoes.
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I rang in sick for work, not because I was ill, but because our cat, who has never once given me a second of affection, fell asleep tucked into my lap. There was no way I was moving anywhere.
February 15, 2026 at 4:20 PM
I rang in sick for work, not because I was ill, but because our cat, who has never once given me a second of affection, fell asleep tucked into my lap. There was no way I was moving anywhere.
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"Fuck cows."
Thanks but we'll pass on that. It plays havoc with your back apparently.
Thanks but we'll pass on that. It plays havoc with your back apparently.
February 14, 2026 at 8:27 PM
"Fuck cows."
Thanks but we'll pass on that. It plays havoc with your back apparently.
Thanks but we'll pass on that. It plays havoc with your back apparently.
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I work in a boutique. A male customer wanted us to gift wrap a scarf and lingerie separately, with cards addressed to different women's names. Nothing new to us. But he'd parked a Tesla, so just before sealing up the boxes I switched the two cards. Serve him right.
February 14, 2026 at 11:20 PM
I work in a boutique. A male customer wanted us to gift wrap a scarf and lingerie separately, with cards addressed to different women's names. Nothing new to us. But he'd parked a Tesla, so just before sealing up the boxes I switched the two cards. Serve him right.
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I have two personas: with my mates I'm a laddish, in my job I'm posh & corporate. It came to a head at a charity ball. I was there with work, & mates there with their work. Had to Mrs Doubtfire it, one minute I'm "hello you cunt", the next I'm "that's a fine Sauvignon, Karen"
February 15, 2026 at 9:20 AM
I have two personas: with my mates I'm a laddish, in my job I'm posh & corporate. It came to a head at a charity ball. I was there with work, & mates there with their work. Had to Mrs Doubtfire it, one minute I'm "hello you cunt", the next I'm "that's a fine Sauvignon, Karen"
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I once lost a job even though I did well at the interview, because when I left the lady said 'see you anon', and I'd never heard that before so I said 'sorry what?' and she said 'anon' and I said 'a what?' and she said 'a...never mind' and then they went with the other candidate.
February 15, 2026 at 11:20 AM
I once lost a job even though I did well at the interview, because when I left the lady said 'see you anon', and I'd never heard that before so I said 'sorry what?' and she said 'anon' and I said 'a what?' and she said 'a...never mind' and then they went with the other candidate.
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I work a job I hate. So to make it more bareable I wipe bogies on door handles & eagerly await people opening, I watch the offence happen, then wait a few minutes before examining the handle, if the bogey is gone, I get a dopamine hit knowing it's on the hand of a degenerate .
February 15, 2026 at 10:20 AM
I work a job I hate. So to make it more bareable I wipe bogies on door handles & eagerly await people opening, I watch the offence happen, then wait a few minutes before examining the handle, if the bogey is gone, I get a dopamine hit knowing it's on the hand of a degenerate .
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When showering in the gym, if my old chap has gone shy, I tug on it. It's a grower not a shower.
February 14, 2026 at 6:20 PM
When showering in the gym, if my old chap has gone shy, I tug on it. It's a grower not a shower.
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I've been listening to Van Morrison's music for over 40 years. Even have a couple of his CDs. It was only yesterday that I found out that "Van" was an abbreviation of his name "Ivan". For over 40 years, I thought it was part of his surname, like "Van Helsing".
February 14, 2026 at 7:20 PM
I've been listening to Van Morrison's music for over 40 years. Even have a couple of his CDs. It was only yesterday that I found out that "Van" was an abbreviation of his name "Ivan". For over 40 years, I thought it was part of his surname, like "Van Helsing".
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I work as crew on food TV shows and have done for years. We eat the food after it's been shown on camera. They always over salt it and never use enough pepper. Grinding pepper takes too long and is boring, so they just do two twists for show. I have a personal pepper grinder.
February 14, 2026 at 1:20 PM
I work as crew on food TV shows and have done for years. We eat the food after it's been shown on camera. They always over salt it and never use enough pepper. Grinding pepper takes too long and is boring, so they just do two twists for show. I have a personal pepper grinder.
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I let my grey parrot fly around the house when the windows are closed. Last week I was on a Teams call reviewing a £100m+ contract. He shat on my nose as I was talking my boss through one of the complex clauses.
February 14, 2026 at 3:20 PM
I let my grey parrot fly around the house when the windows are closed. Last week I was on a Teams call reviewing a £100m+ contract. He shat on my nose as I was talking my boss through one of the complex clauses.
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In the last 20 years of his life my Dad would bring me chocolate and or flowers the day after Valentine's Day ( fixed income, day after prices).
On this day I miss him the most of all days. Not because he gave me things but because he was thinking of me. Thinking of you today,Dad. 💝
On this day I miss him the most of all days. Not because he gave me things but because he was thinking of me. Thinking of you today,Dad. 💝
February 14, 2026 at 5:05 PM
In the last 20 years of his life my Dad would bring me chocolate and or flowers the day after Valentine's Day ( fixed income, day after prices).
On this day I miss him the most of all days. Not because he gave me things but because he was thinking of me. Thinking of you today,Dad. 💝
On this day I miss him the most of all days. Not because he gave me things but because he was thinking of me. Thinking of you today,Dad. 💝
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Twenty years ago, whilst heavily pregnant, my husband and I got a bit frisky before a family party. My Mum had a bit of an obsession with my bump, in front of 20 people she gave it a rub and a kiss, and then said "oh, you smell like Lily of the Valley." Sorry Mum, that's spunk.
February 13, 2026 at 12:20 PM
Twenty years ago, whilst heavily pregnant, my husband and I got a bit frisky before a family party. My Mum had a bit of an obsession with my bump, in front of 20 people she gave it a rub and a kiss, and then said "oh, you smell like Lily of the Valley." Sorry Mum, that's spunk.
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25 years ago I got a year 10 English class to come up with brand names for new medicines during a creative writing project. So far 13 of the names those 14 year olds developed are used on drugs. I bet the pharmaceutical companies paid naming consultants so much for them.
February 13, 2026 at 5:20 PM
25 years ago I got a year 10 English class to come up with brand names for new medicines during a creative writing project. So far 13 of the names those 14 year olds developed are used on drugs. I bet the pharmaceutical companies paid naming consultants so much for them.
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My wife made me the best present for my birthday, last week. A whole pint of clotted cream. All gone after breakfast.
February 13, 2026 at 6:20 PM
My wife made me the best present for my birthday, last week. A whole pint of clotted cream. All gone after breakfast.
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In 1975 my mum sent me to buy cigs. On way I found a £1 note. Excited, I ran home, where mum sent me back for the fags & permission to spend the £1. Outside shop I saw a girl bawling her eyes out looking for 'something'. I still feel awful guilt for the sweets & stuff I bought.
February 13, 2026 at 7:20 PM
In 1975 my mum sent me to buy cigs. On way I found a £1 note. Excited, I ran home, where mum sent me back for the fags & permission to spend the £1. Outside shop I saw a girl bawling her eyes out looking for 'something'. I still feel awful guilt for the sweets & stuff I bought.
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Had chest pains and palpitations yesterday, rang 111 and was sent to A&E. All tests came back clear. Did the biggest poo in years this morning, and feel wonderful now.
February 13, 2026 at 8:20 PM
Had chest pains and palpitations yesterday, rang 111 and was sent to A&E. All tests came back clear. Did the biggest poo in years this morning, and feel wonderful now.
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Wife & I had a foursome with friends, lucky me got a blow job from both the ladies but by far the best one was from our friend's husband. Now I have all sorts of questions.
February 13, 2026 at 11:20 PM
Wife & I had a foursome with friends, lucky me got a blow job from both the ladies but by far the best one was from our friend's husband. Now I have all sorts of questions.
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Come to Fesshole Live in 2026! Tickets on sale for Glasgow, Leicester, Luton, Leeds & Cambridge. Sweden Tour visits Malmö, Göteborg and Stockholm, and Anon Opin hits Leicester and Glasgow. Best of Fesshole, audience confessions, secret history & more: https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole
February 14, 2026 at 4:25 AM
Come to Fesshole Live in 2026! Tickets on sale for Glasgow, Leicester, Luton, Leeds & Cambridge. Sweden Tour visits Malmö, Göteborg and Stockholm, and Anon Opin hits Leicester and Glasgow. Best of Fesshole, audience confessions, secret history & more: https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole