Midwest Weather Control
controlmidwest.bsky.social
Midwest Weather Control
@controlmidwest.bsky.social
Public Relations for the Gateway Arch Midwest Weather Control Point, a joint venture of the NPS and DARPA.

Proudly controlling weather to save lives since 1965.
Midwest Weather Control regrets that we were unable to stop todays weather events.

Our public statements are restricted but suffice to say that DOGE is opposed to anything with 'environment' in its description and we're on a skeleton crew these days.

Our hearts go out to the community.
May 17, 2025 at 3:43 AM
Theres large upper level disturbances busting out across the country headed into next week
May 4, 2025 at 8:09 PM
Normally we focus on weather threats to the midwest but yall might want some protection for this one #stlwx
March 31, 2025 at 2:52 AM
Nature makes the good ice #stlwx
March 15, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Hey guys is this thing on? This is Todd I think everyone else got laid off by Elon

#stlwx
March 15, 2025 at 1:57 AM
CAPTAIN WERE GIVIN IT ALL SHE GOT BUT I DONT KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER SHE KIN GIVE #stlwx
March 15, 2025 at 1:48 AM
We’ll do what we can but DOGE doesn’t believe we exist annd we’re short-staffed
March 13, 2025 at 12:46 PM
Weather Trivia: Due to the recent planetary conjunction, the Arch was able to accumulate enough power to turn the control coils up to 11.

You are very welcome. #stlwx
March 5, 2025 at 2:05 AM
February 18, 2025 at 5:49 PM
First of all, lower your voice
If you hear a cranking sound tonight it's the town wizard getting his weather control device ready for the #stlwx
February 18, 2025 at 1:23 PM
WX ALERT: 2025/02/12 0732AM

The weather control coils of the Arch are at currently at maximum power

#stlwx
February 12, 2025 at 1:35 PM
While there is some snow making it through the weather control field, we would like to let folks know that it could be a lot worse. #stlwx
January 10, 2025 at 7:53 PM
pls respond I showed u my cold front
January 3, 2025 at 4:51 AM
When the forecast says "between 1 and 12 inches of snow" what they mean is that our intern Todd just got a new set of dice and we're leaving him in charge for the weekend.

If this post gets 50 likes the STL area gets a re-roll
January 3, 2025 at 12:54 AM
Maybe an inch! Maybe a foot! Maybe it'll just spit in your mouth and slap you around a little.
January 3, 2025 at 12:48 AM
This was not us, please take it up with Google
November 19, 2024 at 4:06 PM
WEATHER TIP:
Have you ever noticed how right before a storm, all the birds disappear? That's because the protective EM radiation from the Arch interferes with the guidance computer in the "birds". #weathercontrol #birdsarentreal
November 15, 2024 at 3:00 AM
This image shows why the Arch is energized in response to severe weather conditions in Saint Louis:

It's inverted caternary curve, combined with its stainless steel skin, and multi-gigawatt energy storage facility in the basement, allows it to dissipate storm energy.
November 15, 2024 at 12:02 AM
Arch Weather Control Trivia:
The Arch was designed by Eero Saarinen.
Eero Saarinen is an anagram for Erase Rain Eon
This is incontrovertible fact. #weathercontrol
November 14, 2024 at 11:57 PM
Midwest Weather Control is excited to announce that we have moved our public relations operations to Bluesky!

To remain up-to-date on our weather control activities, make sure to follow us, and make sure to tell your friends!
November 14, 2024 at 11:46 PM