Clare (The Amazon)
@claretheamazon.bsky.social
I'm pretty tall. I'm an ACSM-certified personal trainer. I like leftist politics, Pokemon, and good books. I can read Italian semi-adequately. I have ADHD.
There is a bell tower on a local college campus called the Campanile and every time these Midwestern fucks pronounce it "CAMP-uhn-eye-yul" I DIE INSIDE
December 11, 2025 at 3:19 AM
There is a bell tower on a local college campus called the Campanile and every time these Midwestern fucks pronounce it "CAMP-uhn-eye-yul" I DIE INSIDE
As distasteful as the concept is, you gotta admit that "breastaurant" is a fantastic portmanteau.
December 11, 2025 at 2:59 AM
As distasteful as the concept is, you gotta admit that "breastaurant" is a fantastic portmanteau.
Just saw a self-professed Dungeon Crawler Carl fan claim that Seth McFarlane should play Carl in a live action adaptation. Even though he is [checks notes] DECADES TOO OLD for that role. Genius. Do these "fans" even read the books?! What's next, saying the Taco Bell dog should play Princess Donut?
December 11, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Just saw a self-professed Dungeon Crawler Carl fan claim that Seth McFarlane should play Carl in a live action adaptation. Even though he is [checks notes] DECADES TOO OLD for that role. Genius. Do these "fans" even read the books?! What's next, saying the Taco Bell dog should play Princess Donut?
Question to my German folks out there: do you have a word for "feeling embarrassed for a person who seemingly has no capacity to feel ANY embarrassment for themselves?" Asking for a nation (the USA).
December 10, 2025 at 6:28 PM
Question to my German folks out there: do you have a word for "feeling embarrassed for a person who seemingly has no capacity to feel ANY embarrassment for themselves?" Asking for a nation (the USA).
I can't tell you what a relief it was this week when I FINALLY met another person who loves musicals generally but HATES "Into the Woods." Everyone else has acted like I'm unreasonable for this opinion.
December 10, 2025 at 5:31 PM
I can't tell you what a relief it was this week when I FINALLY met another person who loves musicals generally but HATES "Into the Woods." Everyone else has acted like I'm unreasonable for this opinion.
School was cancelled so I have a combined-type ADHD child cooped up with me all day. Yes, we will OBVIOUSLY be playing non-stop video games, because I am a great mom.
December 10, 2025 at 2:05 PM
School was cancelled so I have a combined-type ADHD child cooped up with me all day. Yes, we will OBVIOUSLY be playing non-stop video games, because I am a great mom.
Today's edition of Old White Male Nonsense. Keep in mind I'm only posting comments I've heard on multiple occasions by multiple old white men.
(I am doing any kind of exercising at the gym)
Total Stranger of an Old White Man: "WHADDAYA WORKIN' SO HARD FOR? HA HA HA!"
(I am doing any kind of exercising at the gym)
Total Stranger of an Old White Man: "WHADDAYA WORKIN' SO HARD FOR? HA HA HA!"
December 10, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Today's edition of Old White Male Nonsense. Keep in mind I'm only posting comments I've heard on multiple occasions by multiple old white men.
(I am doing any kind of exercising at the gym)
Total Stranger of an Old White Man: "WHADDAYA WORKIN' SO HARD FOR? HA HA HA!"
(I am doing any kind of exercising at the gym)
Total Stranger of an Old White Man: "WHADDAYA WORKIN' SO HARD FOR? HA HA HA!"
Iowa be like "ermahgerd, the last time we had 18" of snow this early was the Elizabethan era," meanwhile I remember TRICK OR TREATING with 18" of snow one year in northern Wisconsin ☠️
December 10, 2025 at 2:49 AM
Iowa be like "ermahgerd, the last time we had 18" of snow this early was the Elizabethan era," meanwhile I remember TRICK OR TREATING with 18" of snow one year in northern Wisconsin ☠️
Welcome to my new segment, Old White Male Nonsense! I will only share the infuriating or idiotic comments that have been spoken by MULTIPLE old white men, in SEPARATE instances.
(I am standing or sitting by myself, and I happen to yawn.)
Old White Man I don't know, passing by: "OPE! I CAUGHT YOU!"
(I am standing or sitting by myself, and I happen to yawn.)
Old White Man I don't know, passing by: "OPE! I CAUGHT YOU!"
December 9, 2025 at 2:52 AM
Welcome to my new segment, Old White Male Nonsense! I will only share the infuriating or idiotic comments that have been spoken by MULTIPLE old white men, in SEPARATE instances.
(I am standing or sitting by myself, and I happen to yawn.)
Old White Man I don't know, passing by: "OPE! I CAUGHT YOU!"
(I am standing or sitting by myself, and I happen to yawn.)
Old White Man I don't know, passing by: "OPE! I CAUGHT YOU!"
I just discovered if you search "thank my driver" on the Amazon shopping app, you can submit a thanks with one click and your driver gets a $5 bonus (at no cost to you). Get in there and take advantage of this! It says it's for a limited time.
December 8, 2025 at 7:22 PM
I just discovered if you search "thank my driver" on the Amazon shopping app, you can submit a thanks with one click and your driver gets a $5 bonus (at no cost to you). Get in there and take advantage of this! It says it's for a limited time.
There are so many more dipshits freaking out about snow *this* weekend that I made a goddamn meme about it.
December 8, 2025 at 2:23 AM
There are so many more dipshits freaking out about snow *this* weekend that I made a goddamn meme about it.
I booked a chiropractor appointment and a mammogram back to back for next week, because I am WHAT? Old.
December 5, 2025 at 2:20 PM
I booked a chiropractor appointment and a mammogram back to back for next week, because I am WHAT? Old.
The gang's all here (plus an extra Blaze for trades) #PokemonGo
December 5, 2025 at 1:15 PM
The gang's all here (plus an extra Blaze for trades) #PokemonGo
Got the combat Tauros, almost had a fucking heart attack because it wouldn't let me in the raid at first and I had to reload the app three times but I made it. I need a nap now. #PokemonGo
December 5, 2025 at 11:37 AM
Got the combat Tauros, almost had a fucking heart attack because it wouldn't let me in the raid at first and I had to reload the app three times but I made it. I need a nap now. #PokemonGo
Tauros update: it is 4 AM and I'm 57 in line, fuck this LOL
December 5, 2025 at 10:19 AM
Tauros update: it is 4 AM and I'm 57 in line, fuck this LOL
Flex your best ever lucky trade. I'll start. (When I tell you I SCREAMPT when those IVs hit.) #PokemonGo
December 5, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Flex your best ever lucky trade. I'll start. (When I tell you I SCREAMPT when those IVs hit.) #PokemonGo
Tauros raids are closed and I'm number 250 in line. Looking like a "middle of the night" situation! Eew!
December 4, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Tauros raids are closed and I'm number 250 in line. Looking like a "middle of the night" situation! Eew!
Things South Korea seems to do way better than the US:
Television show set design
Skincare
Pop music
Ousting dictatorial presidents
Television show set design
Skincare
Pop music
Ousting dictatorial presidents
December 4, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Things South Korea seems to do way better than the US:
Television show set design
Skincare
Pop music
Ousting dictatorial presidents
Television show set design
Skincare
Pop music
Ousting dictatorial presidents
Down to 700 people for combat Tauros!
a man in a suit and tie says oh my god okay it 's happening ..
ALT: a man in a suit and tie says oh my god okay it 's happening ..
media.tenor.com
December 4, 2025 at 4:35 PM
Down to 700 people for combat Tauros!
I'm so happy to finally be at an age where if I say "I'm feeling nauseous," people don't gasp "ARE YOU PREGNANT?" They just assume (probably correctly) that I have an ulcer.
December 4, 2025 at 2:14 PM
I'm so happy to finally be at an age where if I say "I'm feeling nauseous," people don't gasp "ARE YOU PREGNANT?" They just assume (probably correctly) that I have an ulcer.
Update to my Combat Tauros queue: it's finally moving. Down to about 1400. Hopefully I'll get this today! #PokemonGo
December 4, 2025 at 2:09 PM
Update to my Combat Tauros queue: it's finally moving. Down to about 1400. Hopefully I'll get this today! #PokemonGo
There's a form of Tauros that is exclusive to the Iberian peninsula. Joined the remote raid queue this morning (3500 in line). I am now number 2700 in line. I remain optimistic that I will get it before the weekend! (Also if you are on the Iberian peninsula and wish to help, LMK!) #PokemonGo
December 3, 2025 at 2:29 AM
There's a form of Tauros that is exclusive to the Iberian peninsula. Joined the remote raid queue this morning (3500 in line). I am now number 2700 in line. I remain optimistic that I will get it before the weekend! (Also if you are on the Iberian peninsula and wish to help, LMK!) #PokemonGo
Reposted by Clare (The Amazon)
Nature Begins Reclaiming Chuck Grassley
December 1, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Nature Begins Reclaiming Chuck Grassley
Commentator: My Washington Commanders have allowed the most yards per pass attempt of any team this season...
Me: That's a sad statement, huh? "My team allows more yards than a drunk homeowners association."
Me: That's a sad statement, huh? "My team allows more yards than a drunk homeowners association."
December 1, 2025 at 1:06 AM
Commentator: My Washington Commanders have allowed the most yards per pass attempt of any team this season...
Me: That's a sad statement, huh? "My team allows more yards than a drunk homeowners association."
Me: That's a sad statement, huh? "My team allows more yards than a drunk homeowners association."
My deck's got a good 8-10" 🍆🍆🍆
November 29, 2025 at 8:06 PM
My deck's got a good 8-10" 🍆🍆🍆