Vance is like Evil Forest Gump only there's no CGI, he actually will have been in all those unbelievable photos.

Want to feel invincible in middle age? - Have the 16 y/o go back for seconds of your last minute, completely winged it, fully vegan taco pie.

One part: "Fuck Gordon Ramsey, I am a culinary God!" With two parts: "I am so exhausted is it 10pm yet?"

And the same day Eastern announces a vaccine drive the kiddo comes home with a fever. At least he acknowledged it this time and let us near him with a thermometer.

Nothing like masking in your own home and spraying HOCL as room spray to make all those early Pandemic years feel like such a waste.

I didn't realize how much TikTok would mean to me when I finally, begrudgingly, joined. Now I'm grieving losing it while trying to decide between zero social media or learning Mandarin to use RedNote. No form of socializing has ever been as right for me as TikTok was. 😭😭

Current ADHD trauma: being the human alarm clock for a teen who takes the bus. It takes half an hour for my adrenaline to finally come down from the gabillion alarms and notifications. 😩