I’ve been having an affair with the charmin bears mom for many years
November 15, 2025 at 8:52 PM
I’ve been having an affair with the charmin bears mom for many years
Damn yo mama built like Renamon
November 15, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Damn yo mama built like Renamon
Bruce Wayne is the only good billionaire because he uses his wealth to be Batman
November 15, 2025 at 2:13 AM
Bruce Wayne is the only good billionaire because he uses his wealth to be Batman
My daily schedule:
12 PM - wake up on the coach and turn off 12 hr vintage commercials compilation I fell asleep to
12:30 - 6:30 - smoke some weed lol
7:00 - 7:20 - force vomit to eliminate traces of weed from my system (I think what I’m doing is evil)
7:30 PM: late lunch & weed
8:30 : bed
12 PM - wake up on the coach and turn off 12 hr vintage commercials compilation I fell asleep to
12:30 - 6:30 - smoke some weed lol
7:00 - 7:20 - force vomit to eliminate traces of weed from my system (I think what I’m doing is evil)
7:30 PM: late lunch & weed
8:30 : bed
November 15, 2025 at 12:39 AM
My daily schedule:
12 PM - wake up on the coach and turn off 12 hr vintage commercials compilation I fell asleep to
12:30 - 6:30 - smoke some weed lol
7:00 - 7:20 - force vomit to eliminate traces of weed from my system (I think what I’m doing is evil)
7:30 PM: late lunch & weed
8:30 : bed
12 PM - wake up on the coach and turn off 12 hr vintage commercials compilation I fell asleep to
12:30 - 6:30 - smoke some weed lol
7:00 - 7:20 - force vomit to eliminate traces of weed from my system (I think what I’m doing is evil)
7:30 PM: late lunch & weed
8:30 : bed
Ice cream at night, a tasty delight
Ice cream at morning, take warning
Ice cream at morning, take warning
November 14, 2025 at 7:01 PM
Ice cream at night, a tasty delight
Ice cream at morning, take warning
Ice cream at morning, take warning
Lexapro has teamed up with Betty Crocker to make the first ever anti-depressant gusher
November 14, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Lexapro has teamed up with Betty Crocker to make the first ever anti-depressant gusher
Thinking about getting into pokemon, I’m running out of real animals to collect
November 14, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Thinking about getting into pokemon, I’m running out of real animals to collect
Ate yo mama’s pussy so hard I got turf toe and will be going on the 15 Day IL
November 13, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Ate yo mama’s pussy so hard I got turf toe and will be going on the 15 Day IL
Would you rather have to fight killer klowns from outer space or killer clowns from planet earth? One the one hand the outer space klowns have fantastical alien abilities, but on the other hand the earth clowns know the terrain better
November 13, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Would you rather have to fight killer klowns from outer space or killer clowns from planet earth? One the one hand the outer space klowns have fantastical alien abilities, but on the other hand the earth clowns know the terrain better
Leonard Cohen standing uncomfortably close: you know, I heard there was a secret chord that David played and it ended up pleasing the lord. But, I mean, you don’t really care for music do you?
Me, in the middle of trying to bowl a perfect 300 game: fuck off dude
Me, in the middle of trying to bowl a perfect 300 game: fuck off dude
November 13, 2025 at 12:19 AM
Leonard Cohen standing uncomfortably close: you know, I heard there was a secret chord that David played and it ended up pleasing the lord. But, I mean, you don’t really care for music do you?
Me, in the middle of trying to bowl a perfect 300 game: fuck off dude
Me, in the middle of trying to bowl a perfect 300 game: fuck off dude
I can’t believe all the stuff in we didn’t start the fire happened in just under five minutes
November 12, 2025 at 12:33 PM
I can’t believe all the stuff in we didn’t start the fire happened in just under five minutes
You know The Twilight Zone was right: the monsters *are* due on maple street
November 12, 2025 at 12:33 AM
You know The Twilight Zone was right: the monsters *are* due on maple street
They should make happy meals for adults and instead of toys they put in stuff adults would care for like scented candles, lotions, JC Penney gift cards, etc
November 11, 2025 at 11:46 PM
They should make happy meals for adults and instead of toys they put in stuff adults would care for like scented candles, lotions, JC Penney gift cards, etc
You know Doctor Doom probably thinks chess is cooler than football
November 8, 2025 at 2:29 AM
You know Doctor Doom probably thinks chess is cooler than football
Be careful, there have been reports of sickos putting whoopers into kids Halloween buckets
November 8, 2025 at 1:03 AM
Be careful, there have been reports of sickos putting whoopers into kids Halloween buckets
Caveman Ernest: Hey Vern, you ever hear of ‘fire’ Vern?
November 8, 2025 at 12:08 AM
Caveman Ernest: Hey Vern, you ever hear of ‘fire’ Vern?
Hey, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin and the third guy, Michael Collins I think, if you really want to impress me try walking on Jupiter
November 7, 2025 at 12:10 PM
Hey, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin and the third guy, Michael Collins I think, if you really want to impress me try walking on Jupiter
The reason why people love sandwiches is simple: it’s the only food you can eat with your hands
November 5, 2025 at 4:31 PM
The reason why people love sandwiches is simple: it’s the only food you can eat with your hands
“Sorry, don’t mind me I’m just stretching my legs.”
November 5, 2025 at 12:17 PM
“Sorry, don’t mind me I’m just stretching my legs.”
“I’ve been guzzling too much gas I need to stop” -the self conscious car
November 5, 2025 at 1:33 AM
“I’ve been guzzling too much gas I need to stop” -the self conscious car
Top 5 Christmas treats:
1. Cookie in the shape of a Christmas tree
2. Cookie shaped like Santa
3. Candy cane shaped cookie
4. Candy cane
5. Roasted goose
1. Cookie in the shape of a Christmas tree
2. Cookie shaped like Santa
3. Candy cane shaped cookie
4. Candy cane
5. Roasted goose
November 4, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Top 5 Christmas treats:
1. Cookie in the shape of a Christmas tree
2. Cookie shaped like Santa
3. Candy cane shaped cookie
4. Candy cane
5. Roasted goose
1. Cookie in the shape of a Christmas tree
2. Cookie shaped like Santa
3. Candy cane shaped cookie
4. Candy cane
5. Roasted goose
I was thinking about these old baseball figures and how funny it would’ve been if they made this a Randy Johnson build a figure wave
November 4, 2025 at 2:29 AM
I was thinking about these old baseball figures and how funny it would’ve been if they made this a Randy Johnson build a figure wave
This sounds crazy but the Nighthawks painting actually happened to me irl. I one time ate at a diner at night swear to god
November 3, 2025 at 3:15 PM
This sounds crazy but the Nighthawks painting actually happened to me irl. I one time ate at a diner at night swear to god
I thought about the Bermuda Triangle a lot more when I was a kid ngl
November 3, 2025 at 10:56 AM
I thought about the Bermuda Triangle a lot more when I was a kid ngl