pls sign the petition for me to create a WhatsApp chat called the Construction Crew so I can add all the delulus I've dated who thought they could fix me

one must imagine sisyphus gooning

my daughter has caught a rat

Why are u such an odd shape. What has happened to u

why do the jb hifi display laptops beep menacingly whenever u walk near them

if they don't lie down like a sniper before going face first no hesitation, i don't want it

they do it's called the compounding list. do u want chicken flavoured diazepam? strawberry flavoured amoxicillin? banana flavoured metformin?

dont look very eclipsed do u mate

making pspsps noises @ the sleep paralysis demon occupying my bedroom ceiling corner

when i was a kid i played dodgeball a lot, & the teachers confiscated the dodgeballs cos we were fuckwits, so we played it with stolen tennis balls instead. eventually we figured out the bruises got even better if the tennis balls were wet. & thus the game 'slazenger classic' was born. the end.

buna dimineața

how i have any friends at all is a mystery

hi baby i love u

do not let this face fool u. she had 200mg of gabapentin this morning and still came at the vet swinging. mate at this rate we are gonna have to go to a vet that specialises in crocodile's or something

my fave kind of fashion is the chinese grandmas who are kitted out in past season holy grail hand-me-downs from their degenerate hypebeast grandkids. I love it even more when it's clearly authentic stuff they're just battering with day to day use

i do be obscuring several windows in my house by stacking excessive amounts of books on each window sill