Bruno Pieroni
@brunopieroni.bsky.social
dual citizen, air drummer, em dash user — in that order. jokes at @mcsweeneys @pointsincase @robotbutt; ideas at that other social media company (not that one, the other one).
I've never juggled one-handed unless you count the multiple times I almost dropped my phone into a toilet.
August 24, 2025 at 2:39 PM
I've never juggled one-handed unless you count the multiple times I almost dropped my phone into a toilet.
Any book can be a coloring book if you don't give a fuck.
August 14, 2025 at 2:23 PM
Any book can be a coloring book if you don't give a fuck.
My tombstone will read, “never wished someone happy birthday on LinkedIn.”
May 30, 2025 at 11:36 AM
My tombstone will read, “never wished someone happy birthday on LinkedIn.”
Pope Leo XIV: keeping Roman numerals alive like a Super Bowl.
May 8, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Pope Leo XIV: keeping Roman numerals alive like a Super Bowl.
Cardinal Pizzaballa can still win if Mike Pence has the courage.
May 8, 2025 at 5:51 PM
Cardinal Pizzaballa can still win if Mike Pence has the courage.
133 cardinals vs one job opening
May 7, 2025 at 7:25 PM
133 cardinals vs one job opening
Y'all know you don't need a holiday to eat tacos, right?
May 5, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Y'all know you don't need a holiday to eat tacos, right?
May the fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift be with you.
May 4, 2025 at 12:13 PM
May the fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift be with you.
Every gorilla remembers Harambe. Who do 100 people have to avenge? Mario from Donkey Kong? Nah, the gorilla wins every time.
May 2, 2025 at 1:18 AM
Every gorilla remembers Harambe. Who do 100 people have to avenge? Mario from Donkey Kong? Nah, the gorilla wins every time.
"To god's country get me."
April 1, 2025 at 3:57 PM
"To god's country get me."
No one hates that first Daylight Saving Time morning as much as Flavor Flav.
March 9, 2025 at 1:26 PM
No one hates that first Daylight Saving Time morning as much as Flavor Flav.
Writing from a farm upstate. Your childhood dog is here and saying they’re fine.
March 8, 2025 at 7:19 PM
Writing from a farm upstate. Your childhood dog is here and saying they’re fine.
No two New Yorkers can agree on where the best slice of pizza is or where “upstate” begins.
March 8, 2025 at 5:04 PM
No two New Yorkers can agree on where the best slice of pizza is or where “upstate” begins.
Adrien Brody’s speech needed a 15-minute intermission too.
March 3, 2025 at 3:29 AM
Adrien Brody’s speech needed a 15-minute intermission too.
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
March 3, 2025 at 3:04 AM
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
"Here are the motherf*cking nominations for motherf*cking achievement in motherf*cking documentaries." — Samuel L Jackson
March 3, 2025 at 2:10 AM
"Here are the motherf*cking nominations for motherf*cking achievement in motherf*cking documentaries." — Samuel L Jackson
I deserve an acting Oscar for pretending I'm not super pissed off that The Wild Robot didn't get nominated for a best picture Oscar.
March 3, 2025 at 1:25 AM
I deserve an acting Oscar for pretending I'm not super pissed off that The Wild Robot didn't get nominated for a best picture Oscar.
We should make Valentine’s Day more like Easter: give out chocolate but make them hunt for it.
February 14, 2025 at 12:49 PM
We should make Valentine’s Day more like Easter: give out chocolate but make them hunt for it.
364 days until we willingly watch commercials again.
February 10, 2025 at 1:56 PM
364 days until we willingly watch commercials again.
"Yeah, it’s kinda like the World Cup final.
No, only one country is in it.
Nah, not everyone there watches.
Actually, stores do stay open during it.
Nope, every single year.
Yup, 70 or so commercials.
Yes, two of them are about Jesus."
How I explain the Super Bowl to other foreigners.
No, only one country is in it.
Nah, not everyone there watches.
Actually, stores do stay open during it.
Nope, every single year.
Yup, 70 or so commercials.
Yes, two of them are about Jesus."
How I explain the Super Bowl to other foreigners.
February 9, 2025 at 11:57 PM
"Yeah, it’s kinda like the World Cup final.
No, only one country is in it.
Nah, not everyone there watches.
Actually, stores do stay open during it.
Nope, every single year.
Yup, 70 or so commercials.
Yes, two of them are about Jesus."
How I explain the Super Bowl to other foreigners.
No, only one country is in it.
Nah, not everyone there watches.
Actually, stores do stay open during it.
Nope, every single year.
Yup, 70 or so commercials.
Yes, two of them are about Jesus."
How I explain the Super Bowl to other foreigners.