Herbert Pocket
@britishgentleman.bsky.social
I was born and raised in England, but I currently live in South Park, Colorado. Oh, what a gay time we shall have, and I do mean gay as in festive.
Um…is there a towel?
November 30, 2025 at 1:32 AM
Um…is there a towel?
The Hot Pocket is here!
November 29, 2025 at 6:40 PM
The Hot Pocket is here!
I should cook something special for Pip tonight to cheer him up.
November 25, 2025 at 8:36 PM
I should cook something special for Pip tonight to cheer him up.
I did not call Bebe a failed actress!
November 23, 2025 at 4:19 PM
I did not call Bebe a failed actress!
For the last time, my mates are not in Parkhurst!
November 23, 2025 at 1:39 PM
For the last time, my mates are not in Parkhurst!
// Share a smile.
November 22, 2025 at 11:48 AM
// Share a smile.
// I’m still alive. Good.
November 22, 2025 at 11:04 AM
// I’m still alive. Good.
// Why can’t I say it? It shouldn’t be difficult.
November 22, 2025 at 12:29 AM
// Why can’t I say it? It shouldn’t be difficult.
// Trey Parker totally did not just feed bacon to a pig!!! 🤣🤣🤣
November 22, 2025 at 12:16 AM
// Trey Parker totally did not just feed bacon to a pig!!! 🤣🤣🤣
// More chocolate!
November 21, 2025 at 11:45 PM
// More chocolate!
// Watching South Park while stoned = ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
November 21, 2025 at 11:41 PM
// Watching South Park while stoned = ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Bastard! Bastard, bastard, bastard! Stupid, stupid bastard! You stupid, stupid bastard, stupid bastard arse! You arse! You stupid arse bastard! You stupid arse bollock bastard nipple wank turd! Why won’t this bloody toaster work?!
November 21, 2025 at 11:18 PM
Bastard! Bastard, bastard, bastard! Stupid, stupid bastard! You stupid, stupid bastard, stupid bastard arse! You arse! You stupid arse bastard! You stupid arse bollock bastard nipple wank turd! Why won’t this bloody toaster work?!
I knew there was nothing wrong with me. [starts crying] Silly old sod.
November 21, 2025 at 4:28 PM
I knew there was nothing wrong with me. [starts crying] Silly old sod.
Captain Darling? Funny name for a guy, isn’t it? The last person I called “darling” was pregnant 20 seconds later!
November 20, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Captain Darling? Funny name for a guy, isn’t it? The last person I called “darling” was pregnant 20 seconds later!
DENZIL, DON’T BUY THEM!
November 20, 2025 at 10:56 PM
DENZIL, DON’T BUY THEM!
📱 Sorry to bother you. [hangs up]
Strange, innit? I’ve just got through to the Highcliff ruddy Hotel, Guernsey! 😠
Strange, innit? I’ve just got through to the Highcliff ruddy Hotel, Guernsey! 😠
November 20, 2025 at 10:53 PM
📱 Sorry to bother you. [hangs up]
Strange, innit? I’ve just got through to the Highcliff ruddy Hotel, Guernsey! 😠
Strange, innit? I’ve just got through to the Highcliff ruddy Hotel, Guernsey! 😠
Libby…would you like a piece of my fried bread?
November 20, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Libby…would you like a piece of my fried bread?
Bloody family, I’ve finished with them! What do they do to you, eh? They hold you back, drag you down…[tearfully]…and then they…break your bloody heart.
November 20, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Bloody family, I’ve finished with them! What do they do to you, eh? They hold you back, drag you down…[tearfully]…and then they…break your bloody heart.
Eric asked me what I wanted him to say! He could say “I’m emigrating!” or “I’m jumping off the balcony!” Anything that will cheer me up!
November 19, 2025 at 9:46 PM
Eric asked me what I wanted him to say! He could say “I’m emigrating!” or “I’m jumping off the balcony!” Anything that will cheer me up!
I don’t believe it. I don’t believe it. What a plonker, what a plonker. 🤦♂️
November 19, 2025 at 9:42 PM
I don’t believe it. I don’t believe it. What a plonker, what a plonker. 🤦♂️
What’s happening? What the bloody hell is happening?! I’ve got a cast of thousands, more advertising than Pearl & Dean, and now Mickey wants to make “Emmanuelle in Peckham”! This is a bloody nightmare!
November 19, 2025 at 8:19 PM
What’s happening? What the bloody hell is happening?! I’ve got a cast of thousands, more advertising than Pearl & Dean, and now Mickey wants to make “Emmanuelle in Peckham”! This is a bloody nightmare!
[playing a space invaders game on the computer]
Got you, you Martian git!
Got you, you Martian git!
November 19, 2025 at 3:51 PM
[playing a space invaders game on the computer]
Got you, you Martian git!
Got you, you Martian git!
I always go to bed with a plate of biscuits and a thermos of tea on my bedside table.
November 18, 2025 at 12:18 AM
I always go to bed with a plate of biscuits and a thermos of tea on my bedside table.
// Pocket should have been a recurring character on the show.
November 18, 2025 at 12:00 AM
// Pocket should have been a recurring character on the show.