Asked a beautiful woman wearing a hardcore looking band shirt what band was she wearing. She replied that it’s not a band t shirt, it says “Back off Perv”.

I had a house fire and moved back but that was last year.

I didn’t realize this was a spoiler until I read it three times.

I’m cycling in downtown Springfield, Missouri and a guy outside of a bar says, “Who wears a helmet riding a bike?” This question hurt my brain.