Brian Hastie
@brianhastie.bsky.social
Typer. Writer. Rewriter. Nu-metal evangelist. He/Him.
The only thing left for Katy Perry to do now is to reunite with 3OH!3. You know it’s true. I know it’s true. It is as the prophecies foretold
November 17, 2025 at 1:17 AM
The only thing left for Katy Perry to do now is to reunite with 3OH!3. You know it’s true. I know it’s true. It is as the prophecies foretold
I wanted to like the Edgar Wright version of The Running Man but it lacked conviction in what it wanted to be. Its message was muddled and lacked any real emotional heft. Popcorn cinema, sure, but tonally hollow.
November 16, 2025 at 1:46 AM
I wanted to like the Edgar Wright version of The Running Man but it lacked conviction in what it wanted to be. Its message was muddled and lacked any real emotional heft. Popcorn cinema, sure, but tonally hollow.
Snow on Montreal sidewalks looking real yellow rn like someone peed on it
but it’s because the fallen, uncleared leaves are melding together with the watery snow into a paste-like substance
Also yeah I peed but so what
you can’t prove it
but it’s because the fallen, uncleared leaves are melding together with the watery snow into a paste-like substance
Also yeah I peed but so what
you can’t prove it
November 11, 2025 at 6:46 PM
Snow on Montreal sidewalks looking real yellow rn like someone peed on it
but it’s because the fallen, uncleared leaves are melding together with the watery snow into a paste-like substance
Also yeah I peed but so what
you can’t prove it
but it’s because the fallen, uncleared leaves are melding together with the watery snow into a paste-like substance
Also yeah I peed but so what
you can’t prove it
Jason Derulo whispering his name at the beginning of tracks like it’s a watermark to fight against music pirates but has no awareness of a DAW’s editing abilities
November 6, 2025 at 2:31 AM
Jason Derulo whispering his name at the beginning of tracks like it’s a watermark to fight against music pirates but has no awareness of a DAW’s editing abilities
Just you wait until the folks who spent years creating JibJabs of their grandkids and flooding Facebook with them find out about generative AI's video capabilities.
October 26, 2025 at 2:33 PM
Just you wait until the folks who spent years creating JibJabs of their grandkids and flooding Facebook with them find out about generative AI's video capabilities.
Renaming Jack Skellington as Sam Skeleton Sr as a form of self-care
October 21, 2025 at 12:31 PM
Renaming Jack Skellington as Sam Skeleton Sr as a form of self-care
Enlightened death metal singers during a concert being like
WE THINK ALL WOMEN ARE GREAT. TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN, DONT LET ANYONE TELL YOU ANYTHING DIFFERENT.
THIS ONE’s CALLED “RESPECT THE GASH”
WE THINK ALL WOMEN ARE GREAT. TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN, DONT LET ANYONE TELL YOU ANYTHING DIFFERENT.
THIS ONE’s CALLED “RESPECT THE GASH”
October 18, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Enlightened death metal singers during a concert being like
WE THINK ALL WOMEN ARE GREAT. TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN, DONT LET ANYONE TELL YOU ANYTHING DIFFERENT.
THIS ONE’s CALLED “RESPECT THE GASH”
WE THINK ALL WOMEN ARE GREAT. TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN, DONT LET ANYONE TELL YOU ANYTHING DIFFERENT.
THIS ONE’s CALLED “RESPECT THE GASH”
Me and @floridamane.bsky.social just dropped some fax: disturbdkvlt.substack.com/p/who-influe...
Who influences the influencers?
Is anybody actually driving culture these days?
disturbdkvlt.substack.com
October 18, 2025 at 4:35 PM
Me and @floridamane.bsky.social just dropped some fax: disturbdkvlt.substack.com/p/who-influe...
Ladies
When he hits you with that annunnaki talk
You neee to just keep on walking
When he hits you with that annunnaki talk
You neee to just keep on walking
October 14, 2025 at 11:24 PM
Ladies
When he hits you with that annunnaki talk
You neee to just keep on walking
When he hits you with that annunnaki talk
You neee to just keep on walking
Remake Larry Cohen’s The Stuff with Tim Heidecker in the Michael Moriarty role
October 12, 2025 at 10:58 PM
Remake Larry Cohen’s The Stuff with Tim Heidecker in the Michael Moriarty role
Can we go back to calling penises “worms”?
I feel like that would actually fix all of society’s ills.
I feel like that would actually fix all of society’s ills.
October 7, 2025 at 1:17 AM
Can we go back to calling penises “worms”?
I feel like that would actually fix all of society’s ills.
I feel like that would actually fix all of society’s ills.
That's it
I'm homeschooling myself
No more BS
I can shoot the knowledge straight into my eyeballs
I'm homeschooling myself
No more BS
I can shoot the knowledge straight into my eyeballs
September 21, 2025 at 3:45 AM
That's it
I'm homeschooling myself
No more BS
I can shoot the knowledge straight into my eyeballs
I'm homeschooling myself
No more BS
I can shoot the knowledge straight into my eyeballs
True Montreal bilingualism is when a casse croûte stocks both Coke AND Pepsi products
September 4, 2025 at 10:21 PM
True Montreal bilingualism is when a casse croûte stocks both Coke AND Pepsi products
Hey remember when they tried to make SNL Quebec happen lol
September 4, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Hey remember when they tried to make SNL Quebec happen lol
It shows that there's a whole generation of you clowns out there who never chiefed a joint while driving around after midnight listening to The Who's Eminence Front (on cassette) in a Datsun
September 2, 2025 at 10:58 PM
It shows that there's a whole generation of you clowns out there who never chiefed a joint while driving around after midnight listening to The Who's Eminence Front (on cassette) in a Datsun
We need to bring back the term flimflam man
September 1, 2025 at 5:37 PM
We need to bring back the term flimflam man
Guy whose vanity license plate is made up of a combo of his two kids’ names, finding out his wife is pregnant again: FUCK
August 24, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Guy whose vanity license plate is made up of a combo of his two kids’ names, finding out his wife is pregnant again: FUCK
Chino Moreno sing without reverb challenge go
August 20, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Chino Moreno sing without reverb challenge go
I wish I was brain damaged enough to run for a seat in local politics
July 14, 2025 at 12:24 AM
I wish I was brain damaged enough to run for a seat in local politics
You’re about as relevant as a FREE EARL shirt
July 7, 2025 at 5:46 PM
You’re about as relevant as a FREE EARL shirt
carry these weary bones
to the closest european nandos
may i have a
cheeky chicken
in utter peace
to the closest european nandos
may i have a
cheeky chicken
in utter peace
July 1, 2025 at 3:55 AM
carry these weary bones
to the closest european nandos
may i have a
cheeky chicken
in utter peace
to the closest european nandos
may i have a
cheeky chicken
in utter peace
The best part of 28 Years Later?
Realizing that in that timeline James Corden never gets famous.
Realizing that in that timeline James Corden never gets famous.
June 30, 2025 at 10:32 PM
The best part of 28 Years Later?
Realizing that in that timeline James Corden never gets famous.
Realizing that in that timeline James Corden never gets famous.
Pokemon Go To The Void In Your Heart
June 29, 2025 at 4:42 PM
Pokemon Go To The Void In Your Heart
happy Sunday
go read a Quan Millz book today
go read a Quan Millz book today
June 29, 2025 at 4:31 PM
happy Sunday
go read a Quan Millz book today
go read a Quan Millz book today