@bretsbiscuits.bsky.social
July 8, 2025 at 6:26 PM
Dear Tinder & Hinge... Please stop trying to serve up women as possible matches. If my mother couldn't get me back on women with all those prayers, you have no chance. 😜
June 12, 2025 at 4:22 AM
Dear Tinder & Hinge... Please stop trying to serve up women as possible matches. If my mother couldn't get me back on women with all those prayers, you have no chance. 😜
JD Vance: I killed the Pope.
Kanye: I sucked my cousins dick.
This week is wild.
Kanye: I sucked my cousins dick.
This week is wild.
April 23, 2025 at 12:25 AM
JD Vance: I killed the Pope.
Kanye: I sucked my cousins dick.
This week is wild.
Kanye: I sucked my cousins dick.
This week is wild.
Reposted
Dear general public. Y'all need to stop trying to offload your straight psychos onto the LGBTQ+ community. They're yours. Own them. Calling them gay a wild insult to the gay community. And we don't want your trash. 💯
March 1, 2025 at 6:56 PM
Dear general public. Y'all need to stop trying to offload your straight psychos onto the LGBTQ+ community. They're yours. Own them. Calling them gay a wild insult to the gay community. And we don't want your trash. 💯
Florida RN. 🤣
January 26, 2025 at 1:29 AM
Florida RN. 🤣
Current age: Remembering Craftmatic adjustable beds and thinking I might want one.
December 12, 2024 at 8:46 PM
Current age: Remembering Craftmatic adjustable beds and thinking I might want one.
TikTok says my Disney parents are Ariel and Belle. I don't know whether to feel complimented or attacked. 🤣
December 6, 2024 at 5:12 PM
TikTok says my Disney parents are Ariel and Belle. I don't know whether to feel complimented or attacked. 🤣
Lower Decks taking a shot at Strange New Worlds ridiculous musical episode is one of the best Trek moments ever. I'm going to miss this show. #LowerDecks #StarTrek #StrangeNewWorlds
December 6, 2024 at 1:10 AM
Lower Decks taking a shot at Strange New Worlds ridiculous musical episode is one of the best Trek moments ever. I'm going to miss this show. #LowerDecks #StarTrek #StrangeNewWorlds
Dear Aldi, the snack I really want is walking around your store. How do we make this happen? 🔥😜
December 4, 2024 at 1:47 AM
Dear Aldi, the snack I really want is walking around your store. How do we make this happen? 🔥😜
Do you think Lord Of The Rings a gay romance series?
I think so...
I think so...
November 26, 2024 at 9:46 PM
Do you think Lord Of The Rings a gay romance series?
I think so...
I think so...
Reposted
My new favorite Christmas decoration. #christmas #gnome
November 22, 2024 at 7:39 AM
My new favorite Christmas decoration. #christmas #gnome
Reposted
uber eats: u look hungry
me: ya
uber eats: but ur so fuckin lazy
me: ya
uber eats: i bet little piggy wants a 15 dollar ice cream cone delivered
me: ya
me: ya
uber eats: but ur so fuckin lazy
me: ya
uber eats: i bet little piggy wants a 15 dollar ice cream cone delivered
me: ya
November 20, 2024 at 7:57 PM
uber eats: u look hungry
me: ya
uber eats: but ur so fuckin lazy
me: ya
uber eats: i bet little piggy wants a 15 dollar ice cream cone delivered
me: ya
me: ya
uber eats: but ur so fuckin lazy
me: ya
uber eats: i bet little piggy wants a 15 dollar ice cream cone delivered
me: ya
Reposted
BREAKING:
House Speaker Mike Johnson announces that male Republicans neutered by Donald Trump may continue to use the men's bathrooms.
House Speaker Mike Johnson announces that male Republicans neutered by Donald Trump may continue to use the men's bathrooms.
November 20, 2024 at 8:09 PM
BREAKING:
House Speaker Mike Johnson announces that male Republicans neutered by Donald Trump may continue to use the men's bathrooms.
House Speaker Mike Johnson announces that male Republicans neutered by Donald Trump may continue to use the men's bathrooms.
People make time for the things that matter. They make excuses for the things that don't.
November 20, 2024 at 2:19 AM
People make time for the things that matter. They make excuses for the things that don't.
"Don't trip on what's behind you."
-Unknown
-Unknown
November 16, 2024 at 4:20 PM
"Don't trip on what's behind you."
-Unknown
-Unknown
The real winner tonight? Us. For getting that live shot of Mike Tysons booty.
#miketyson
#miketyson
November 16, 2024 at 5:50 AM
The real winner tonight? Us. For getting that live shot of Mike Tysons booty.
#miketyson
#miketyson
If Die Hard is a Christmas movie so is Mean Girls.
November 16, 2024 at 2:42 AM
If Die Hard is a Christmas movie so is Mean Girls.
People: "I can't believe that place is closing!"
Me: "When's the last time you went?"
People: ".................."
Me: "Exactly..."
🤷♂️
Me: "When's the last time you went?"
People: ".................."
Me: "Exactly..."
🤷♂️
November 15, 2024 at 1:22 AM
People: "I can't believe that place is closing!"
Me: "When's the last time you went?"
People: ".................."
Me: "Exactly..."
🤷♂️
Me: "When's the last time you went?"
People: ".................."
Me: "Exactly..."
🤷♂️
This is how I rationalize... 😂
November 15, 2024 at 1:21 AM
This is how I rationalize... 😂