Boredwalk
@boredwalk.com
“Refreshingly relatable” according to an Instagram comment. Creator of amusing gifts + novelties at boredwalk.com
Imagine living on a planet with kittens and starry skies and and sandwiches and choosing to spend your time terrorizing people.
February 13, 2026 at 11:20 PM
Imagine living on a planet with kittens and starry skies and and sandwiches and choosing to spend your time terrorizing people.
"It's just a really bad time right now."
- me for several decades.
- me for several decades.
February 12, 2026 at 11:20 PM
"It's just a really bad time right now."
- me for several decades.
- me for several decades.
Anyone else get the sense the universe is using AI to write the plot and we’re all stuck in this storyline that would get you a D in a remedial writing class?
February 12, 2026 at 3:55 AM
Anyone else get the sense the universe is using AI to write the plot and we’re all stuck in this storyline that would get you a D in a remedial writing class?
Marshall Law > Martial Law
Marshall Law: woo, designer goods at a discount. Grab your MasterCard, Aunt Carol!
Martial Law: boo, state violence against the citizenry. Grab your Glock, Aunt Carol!
Marshall Law: woo, designer goods at a discount. Grab your MasterCard, Aunt Carol!
Martial Law: boo, state violence against the citizenry. Grab your Glock, Aunt Carol!
February 11, 2026 at 11:20 PM
Marshall Law > Martial Law
Marshall Law: woo, designer goods at a discount. Grab your MasterCard, Aunt Carol!
Martial Law: boo, state violence against the citizenry. Grab your Glock, Aunt Carol!
Marshall Law: woo, designer goods at a discount. Grab your MasterCard, Aunt Carol!
Martial Law: boo, state violence against the citizenry. Grab your Glock, Aunt Carol!
Girls will be like, "This is my comfort food" and it's the entrails of their adversaries.
February 10, 2026 at 11:20 PM
Girls will be like, "This is my comfort food" and it's the entrails of their adversaries.
Sometimes you just gotta go where life takes you, and sometimes life takes you to an abandoned cabin in a forest clearing on a stormy night. Take a chance, go inside!
February 9, 2026 at 11:20 PM
Sometimes you just gotta go where life takes you, and sometimes life takes you to an abandoned cabin in a forest clearing on a stormy night. Take a chance, go inside!
People are always like, "Just do your best," but doing my "best" is still alarmingly terrible.
February 8, 2026 at 11:20 PM
People are always like, "Just do your best," but doing my "best" is still alarmingly terrible.
I don't dress for women. I don't dress for men. I dress for the murder of crows I've struck a pack with, wherein I will trade them sparkling jewels in exchange for the entrails of my adversaries.
February 7, 2026 at 11:20 PM
I don't dress for women. I don't dress for men. I dress for the murder of crows I've struck a pack with, wherein I will trade them sparkling jewels in exchange for the entrails of my adversaries.
Good news: life is full of endless possibilities.
Bad news: most of them are terrible.
Bad news: most of them are terrible.
February 6, 2026 at 11:20 PM
Good news: life is full of endless possibilities.
Bad news: most of them are terrible.
Bad news: most of them are terrible.
"When are you gonna have kids?"
•rude
•implies everyone wants kids
•imposes an arbitrary "LifeScript" on people
"When are you gonna leave your indelible mark on this plane of existence?"
•exciting
•implies other planes of existence
•leaves room for offspring or villainy
•rude
•implies everyone wants kids
•imposes an arbitrary "LifeScript" on people
"When are you gonna leave your indelible mark on this plane of existence?"
•exciting
•implies other planes of existence
•leaves room for offspring or villainy
February 5, 2026 at 11:20 PM
"When are you gonna have kids?"
•rude
•implies everyone wants kids
•imposes an arbitrary "LifeScript" on people
"When are you gonna leave your indelible mark on this plane of existence?"
•exciting
•implies other planes of existence
•leaves room for offspring or villainy
•rude
•implies everyone wants kids
•imposes an arbitrary "LifeScript" on people
"When are you gonna leave your indelible mark on this plane of existence?"
•exciting
•implies other planes of existence
•leaves room for offspring or villainy
Every day is a gift.
Wait no... every day is a grift. Existence is a scam. We're all getting played
Wait no... every day is a grift. Existence is a scam. We're all getting played
February 4, 2026 at 11:20 PM
Every day is a gift.
Wait no... every day is a grift. Existence is a scam. We're all getting played
Wait no... every day is a grift. Existence is a scam. We're all getting played
Do I live with intention? No.
But do I live with apprehension?
Constantly.
But do I live with apprehension?
Constantly.
February 3, 2026 at 11:20 PM
Do I live with intention? No.
But do I live with apprehension?
Constantly.
But do I live with apprehension?
Constantly.
Actually, I'm exactly like other girls
(I wanna offer you to an infernal entity in exchange for otherworldly powers)
(I wanna offer you to an infernal entity in exchange for otherworldly powers)
February 1, 2026 at 11:20 PM
Actually, I'm exactly like other girls
(I wanna offer you to an infernal entity in exchange for otherworldly powers)
(I wanna offer you to an infernal entity in exchange for otherworldly powers)
I miss the days when people who joined cults dropped out of society.
January 31, 2026 at 11:20 PM
I miss the days when people who joined cults dropped out of society.
I’m just a girl sitting in front of a cat asking her to purr on my lap and regulate my nervous system.
January 29, 2026 at 2:55 AM
I’m just a girl sitting in front of a cat asking her to purr on my lap and regulate my nervous system.
Normalise unleashing a malevolent poltergeist on men who won't take "no" for no answer
January 27, 2026 at 11:20 PM
Normalise unleashing a malevolent poltergeist on men who won't take "no" for no answer
Currently living in a Godzilla movie with a bunch of people running around screaming, "We must stop the monster trampling on everything," a bunch of people who barely seem aware of Godzilla because he hasn't trampled their neighborhood yet, and a bunch of people inexplicably cheering Godzilla on.
January 26, 2026 at 11:20 PM
Currently living in a Godzilla movie with a bunch of people running around screaming, "We must stop the monster trampling on everything," a bunch of people who barely seem aware of Godzilla because he hasn't trampled their neighborhood yet, and a bunch of people inexplicably cheering Godzilla on.
Americans: we would like fewer public shootings
US Govt: best we can do is use your tax dollars to pay people to do public shootings
US Govt: best we can do is use your tax dollars to pay people to do public shootings
January 26, 2026 at 1:11 AM
Americans: we would like fewer public shootings
US Govt: best we can do is use your tax dollars to pay people to do public shootings
US Govt: best we can do is use your tax dollars to pay people to do public shootings
There is no rule that says you can't be a captivating forest pixie and an intimidating ancient hell goddess. Hecate had three forms. You needn't commit to just one.
January 24, 2026 at 11:20 PM
There is no rule that says you can't be a captivating forest pixie and an intimidating ancient hell goddess. Hecate had three forms. You needn't commit to just one.
The older I get, the less I understand people.
January 23, 2026 at 11:20 PM
The older I get, the less I understand people.
Coolest ways to die:
- Devoured by a werewolf under a full moon
- Murdered in a haunted house by a vengeful ghost
- Turned into an enduring statue by a gorgon's gaze
- Devoured by a werewolf under a full moon
- Murdered in a haunted house by a vengeful ghost
- Turned into an enduring statue by a gorgon's gaze
January 22, 2026 at 11:20 PM
Coolest ways to die:
- Devoured by a werewolf under a full moon
- Murdered in a haunted house by a vengeful ghost
- Turned into an enduring statue by a gorgon's gaze
- Devoured by a werewolf under a full moon
- Murdered in a haunted house by a vengeful ghost
- Turned into an enduring statue by a gorgon's gaze
Eat the cake. Buy the books. Master sorcery. Hex a nemesis. Ride a dragon off into the sunset. Life is too short not to treat yourself.
January 21, 2026 at 11:20 PM
Eat the cake. Buy the books. Master sorcery. Hex a nemesis. Ride a dragon off into the sunset. Life is too short not to treat yourself.
Wishing your enemies catastrophic harm will usually end in dissapointment.
That's why you should wish them moderate inconvenience instead.
Keeping expectations reasonable is the key to success.
That's why you should wish them moderate inconvenience instead.
Keeping expectations reasonable is the key to success.
January 20, 2026 at 11:20 PM
Wishing your enemies catastrophic harm will usually end in dissapointment.
That's why you should wish them moderate inconvenience instead.
Keeping expectations reasonable is the key to success.
That's why you should wish them moderate inconvenience instead.
Keeping expectations reasonable is the key to success.
So rude of feelings to not be rational.
January 19, 2026 at 11:20 PM
So rude of feelings to not be rational.
The universe doesn't want me to be happy.
January 18, 2026 at 11:20 PM
The universe doesn't want me to be happy.