Boredwalk
@boredwalk.com
“Refreshingly relatable” according to an Instagram comment. Creator of amusing gifts + novelties at boredwalk.com
Practice self-care like a Venus Fly Trap. Stay hydrated and destroy whatever invades your personal space.
December 29, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Practice self-care like a Venus Fly Trap. Stay hydrated and destroy whatever invades your personal space.
Important relationship advice:
Before you marry anyone, make sure you're on the same page about whether or not to scoop up a new home at a sweet discount because it happens to be a "murder house".
Before you marry anyone, make sure you're on the same page about whether or not to scoop up a new home at a sweet discount because it happens to be a "murder house".
December 28, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Important relationship advice:
Before you marry anyone, make sure you're on the same page about whether or not to scoop up a new home at a sweet discount because it happens to be a "murder house".
Before you marry anyone, make sure you're on the same page about whether or not to scoop up a new home at a sweet discount because it happens to be a "murder house".
People who can be depressed and anxious at the same time are the real multitaskers.
December 27, 2025 at 11:20 PM
People who can be depressed and anxious at the same time are the real multitaskers.
I love feeding my cat so I can have a small furry tyrant glaring at me and trying to will me to dish out food faster with his mind.
December 25, 2025 at 11:20 PM
I love feeding my cat so I can have a small furry tyrant glaring at me and trying to will me to dish out food faster with his mind.
I'd be nicer to myself if myself would be less of a fuck up.
December 24, 2025 at 11:20 PM
I'd be nicer to myself if myself would be less of a fuck up.
Have yourself a melancholy Christmas.
Your anxiety was right.
From now on our troubles will be day and night.
Your anxiety was right.
From now on our troubles will be day and night.
December 24, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Have yourself a melancholy Christmas.
Your anxiety was right.
From now on our troubles will be day and night.
Your anxiety was right.
From now on our troubles will be day and night.
Keeping a bat next to your bed at night won't keep you safe.
Sleep in a crypt with thousands of bats. Your adversaries won't want to tangle with a whole swarm of angry little draculas.
Sleep in a crypt with thousands of bats. Your adversaries won't want to tangle with a whole swarm of angry little draculas.
December 24, 2025 at 10:21 AM
Keeping a bat next to your bed at night won't keep you safe.
Sleep in a crypt with thousands of bats. Your adversaries won't want to tangle with a whole swarm of angry little draculas.
Sleep in a crypt with thousands of bats. Your adversaries won't want to tangle with a whole swarm of angry little draculas.
Leaning towards dropping out of society to join a colony of bats. Gonna be pretty sweet lurking in a cave all day to avoid the sun and frolicking under the moon after everyone goes to bed. No more emails or meetings, just me and my new bat friends owning the night.
December 23, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Leaning towards dropping out of society to join a colony of bats. Gonna be pretty sweet lurking in a cave all day to avoid the sun and frolicking under the moon after everyone goes to bed. No more emails or meetings, just me and my new bat friends owning the night.
Evening plans?
Probably spend at least an hour carefully selecting a TV show to ignore while I stare at my phone.
Probably spend at least an hour carefully selecting a TV show to ignore while I stare at my phone.
December 22, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Evening plans?
Probably spend at least an hour carefully selecting a TV show to ignore while I stare at my phone.
Probably spend at least an hour carefully selecting a TV show to ignore while I stare at my phone.
no longer trying to be "well-adjusted"— reality's just going to have to adjust to me.
December 21, 2025 at 11:22 PM
no longer trying to be "well-adjusted"— reality's just going to have to adjust to me.
Festive holiday season tips:
Leave some schnapps out for Krampus, he's sure to be parched!
Swap the mistletoe for a sprig of hemlock, so your suitors know what they're getting into.
Skulls of vanquished enemies make a lovely centerpiece.
Leave some schnapps out for Krampus, he's sure to be parched!
Swap the mistletoe for a sprig of hemlock, so your suitors know what they're getting into.
Skulls of vanquished enemies make a lovely centerpiece.
December 20, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Festive holiday season tips:
Leave some schnapps out for Krampus, he's sure to be parched!
Swap the mistletoe for a sprig of hemlock, so your suitors know what they're getting into.
Skulls of vanquished enemies make a lovely centerpiece.
Leave some schnapps out for Krampus, he's sure to be parched!
Swap the mistletoe for a sprig of hemlock, so your suitors know what they're getting into.
Skulls of vanquished enemies make a lovely centerpiece.
Another meeting that could have been an ineffectual scream into the void.
December 19, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Another meeting that could have been an ineffectual scream into the void.
It's outrageous that i have to take care of my flesh prison.
I don't even like it.
I don't even like it.
December 18, 2025 at 11:20 PM
It's outrageous that i have to take care of my flesh prison.
I don't even like it.
I don't even like it.
Get her what she really wants this holiday season, a cozy new cloak and a cursed amulet.
December 17, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Get her what she really wants this holiday season, a cozy new cloak and a cursed amulet.
If you're happy and you know it, congratulations, you've successfully tuned out reality.
December 16, 2025 at 11:18 PM
If you're happy and you know it, congratulations, you've successfully tuned out reality.
Today's reminder:
• everything's fucked
• someday the sun will destroy itself and take the earth with it
• be sure to floss
• everything's fucked
• someday the sun will destroy itself and take the earth with it
• be sure to floss
December 15, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Today's reminder:
• everything's fucked
• someday the sun will destroy itself and take the earth with it
• be sure to floss
• everything's fucked
• someday the sun will destroy itself and take the earth with it
• be sure to floss
"Girls mature faster"
You'd mature faster too if you had to start fending off advances from grown men in middle school.
You'd mature faster too if you had to start fending off advances from grown men in middle school.
December 14, 2025 at 11:38 PM
"Girls mature faster"
You'd mature faster too if you had to start fending off advances from grown men in middle school.
You'd mature faster too if you had to start fending off advances from grown men in middle school.
One day they'll say she died doing what she loved: complaining about everything.
December 13, 2025 at 11:47 PM
One day they'll say she died doing what she loved: complaining about everything.
Problems that were overblown:
• quicksand
• people offering me drugs
• getting lost in the Bermuda Triangle
Problems I was not sufficiently warned about:
• arguing with robots about unexpected items in bagging areas
• remembering all my passwords
• existential dread
• quicksand
• people offering me drugs
• getting lost in the Bermuda Triangle
Problems I was not sufficiently warned about:
• arguing with robots about unexpected items in bagging areas
• remembering all my passwords
• existential dread
December 12, 2025 at 9:48 AM
Problems that were overblown:
• quicksand
• people offering me drugs
• getting lost in the Bermuda Triangle
Problems I was not sufficiently warned about:
• arguing with robots about unexpected items in bagging areas
• remembering all my passwords
• existential dread
• quicksand
• people offering me drugs
• getting lost in the Bermuda Triangle
Problems I was not sufficiently warned about:
• arguing with robots about unexpected items in bagging areas
• remembering all my passwords
• existential dread
Due to personal reasons I’m gonna keep getting weirder, wittier, and more chaotic than ever before.
December 11, 2025 at 8:49 PM
Due to personal reasons I’m gonna keep getting weirder, wittier, and more chaotic than ever before.
Do one thing every day that brings you joy. Get outside. Wander a forest. Accept the tutelage of a powerful ancient witch. Become the sinister force that occupies the forest and terrifies the townsfolk. Treat yourself.
December 6, 2025 at 4:02 PM
Do one thing every day that brings you joy. Get outside. Wander a forest. Accept the tutelage of a powerful ancient witch. Become the sinister force that occupies the forest and terrifies the townsfolk. Treat yourself.
I have an inner gremlin who wants to scream and smash things, but instead I have to just go about my stupid day attending to my responsibilities.
December 5, 2025 at 3:06 PM
I have an inner gremlin who wants to scream and smash things, but instead I have to just go about my stupid day attending to my responsibilities.
wow, ok, unfollowing now. was a big fan of her candy-based architectural design, was not aware she was eating children.
December 5, 2025 at 8:38 AM
wow, ok, unfollowing now. was a big fan of her candy-based architectural design, was not aware she was eating children.
I want to do cute winter stuff. Drink cocoa, play in the snow, stuff ill-behaved men into a sack and haul them off to the netherworld.
December 4, 2025 at 1:12 AM
I want to do cute winter stuff. Drink cocoa, play in the snow, stuff ill-behaved men into a sack and haul them off to the netherworld.
I love that cats were like “who wants to live with an anxious chatty little teddy bear with sharp claws?” and people took them up on it.
December 2, 2025 at 4:06 AM
I love that cats were like “who wants to live with an anxious chatty little teddy bear with sharp claws?” and people took them up on it.