Introducing Anti-AI. Just DM me your questions and I’ll exceed AI’s ability to spread misinformation whilst peppering our conversations with insincere flattery.

It’s August 2025. Chelsea F.C. just stormed the Capitol demanding Trump give their trophy back. Jeffrey Epstein never existed. Elmo’s tweet about “hunting Labubus for sport” was reportedly not a hack.

Way too much diggity

I really hate to be hopeless, but releasing the Epstein Files won’t get Trump impeached. The man already has 34 felony convictions. MAGA doesn’t care. Scandal politics doesn’t work with these people.

Millennial here: stop telling us, whose parents, teachers, counselors, and society pressured us HARD to go to college, that we shouldn’t have gone if we couldn’t afford it without taking out exorbitant student loans. We were just kids caught up in powerful peoples’ schemes to get rich.

Ok hear me out. Someone train an AI chatbot exclusively on every piece of D&D literature in publication, the entire Tolkien universe, and 90s east/west gangster rap. Then we start a rap rock band and let that little homie pop off.

Hey media, I’ll give you tomorrow’s big breaking news story. Trump lied about the ceasefire to distract from yet more heinousness. Feel free to thank me: venmo.com/u/Seth-Paul-...

3,500 in Tacoma, WA, saying #NoKings

But for real, can we get a Primetime cage fight?

You are a guest on this earth, not a beggar.
Don’t trade the water of your soul
for a morsel of bread.

End to end, the whole material world
is less than a single morsel.
Greed for crumbs dries up the river.

- Rumi, trans. Haleh Liza Gafori, Water, p. 18

“The oppressed and their allies simply are no longer asking what the government allows. They are fostering what Jonathan Schell calls ‘an epidemic of freedom in a closed society’ by ignoring official permissions and living ‘as if’ the new society were at hand.” - Walter Wink, Jesus and Nonviolence

Me (feeling like a G in front of my toddler):
Maybe these Washingtons can open up something in the VIP section

Employee:
Sir, we don’t have a VIP sect-

Chuck E. Cheese (snatching the bills):
Right this way, playah

10k student loan forgiveness every time a millennial teaches a boomer how to use technology