i just watched a stink buy FLY across my room at mach 10 and land directly in a spider web

i’m the kind of guy who shows up to the function with a razor scooter and asks everyone to watch me do spins in the driveway

i want to have a secret with someone but just to make conspicuous references to said secret very loudly in public

i think i lose brain cells when i look thru my discover feed

guy who carries around a “that was easy button”

they’re cancelling me for being strange and upsetting

grumbo big jeans is a beautiful name for a baby boy