Matthew Blevins
@blevocomedy.bsky.social
Nashville Comedian
(Something clever and subversive that captures my charm)
(Something clever and subversive that captures my charm)
Our parents just tried to fill us with fear all the time. Look both ways, don’t use that comb you just found, don’t play with that dead bird, etc. Buzzkills.
November 25, 2024 at 1:44 AM
Our parents just tried to fill us with fear all the time. Look both ways, don’t use that comb you just found, don’t play with that dead bird, etc. Buzzkills.
“I hate that we had to meet under these circumstances” brother, if it weren’t for “circumstances” I’d never meet anybody. I’d be chilling at home all happy, waiting for some circumstances.
November 25, 2024 at 1:41 AM
“I hate that we had to meet under these circumstances” brother, if it weren’t for “circumstances” I’d never meet anybody. I’d be chilling at home all happy, waiting for some circumstances.
It’s weird to be a comic and tell people you don’t want to talk to them because you’re an introvert
November 25, 2024 at 1:30 AM
It’s weird to be a comic and tell people you don’t want to talk to them because you’re an introvert
If a soul could pick any starting point but mine picked a trailer, what are you trying to prove?
November 25, 2024 at 1:29 AM
If a soul could pick any starting point but mine picked a trailer, what are you trying to prove?
My teenage son is literally always on the phone, but I’ve never heard him speak while he’s on there. The incessant ear beating will be great practice for if he ever decides to get married.
November 25, 2024 at 1:14 AM
My teenage son is literally always on the phone, but I’ve never heard him speak while he’s on there. The incessant ear beating will be great practice for if he ever decides to get married.
Glow the fuck up.
November 24, 2024 at 4:58 AM
Glow the fuck up.
Ideology is nothing but loose fitting armor for assholes. Which kind am I supposed to wear now?
November 23, 2024 at 10:28 PM
Ideology is nothing but loose fitting armor for assholes. Which kind am I supposed to wear now?
Why do our handles on here have to look like crypto wallets? I thought we were trying to get away from those dudes.
November 23, 2024 at 3:35 PM
Why do our handles on here have to look like crypto wallets? I thought we were trying to get away from those dudes.
We still own DVDs for movies we do not like and will not watch. Put it back where you found it.
November 23, 2024 at 7:55 AM
We still own DVDs for movies we do not like and will not watch. Put it back where you found it.
Don’t validate your kids or they’ll do something stupid, like follow in your footsteps
November 23, 2024 at 7:54 AM
Don’t validate your kids or they’ll do something stupid, like follow in your footsteps
Most people think I’m pretty cool except for ladies I’ve spent seven years or more with.
November 23, 2024 at 7:53 AM
Most people think I’m pretty cool except for ladies I’ve spent seven years or more with.
I live in constant fear that the cool kids are going to find out I’ve been doing stuff and make me stop
November 23, 2024 at 7:53 AM
I live in constant fear that the cool kids are going to find out I’ve been doing stuff and make me stop
Over a long enough timeline, every choice I’ve made just appears to have been bad
November 23, 2024 at 7:52 AM
Over a long enough timeline, every choice I’ve made just appears to have been bad
The only thing I miss about Nebraska is texting while driving
November 23, 2024 at 7:50 AM
The only thing I miss about Nebraska is texting while driving
Most of my socks come from cultural trends that are no longer relevant.
November 23, 2024 at 7:49 AM
Most of my socks come from cultural trends that are no longer relevant.
My single friends are gonna just walk through their whole life not knowing there was stuff they needed to fix about themselves the whole time.
November 23, 2024 at 7:49 AM
My single friends are gonna just walk through their whole life not knowing there was stuff they needed to fix about themselves the whole time.
I’m terrified that I’ve been living up to my potential the entire time.
November 23, 2024 at 7:48 AM
I’m terrified that I’ve been living up to my potential the entire time.
Part of Project 2025 is we all win Ben Stein’s money.
November 23, 2024 at 7:47 AM
Part of Project 2025 is we all win Ben Stein’s money.
Which ESPN do you check for the latest Tennessee vs drag queens score?
November 23, 2024 at 7:46 AM
Which ESPN do you check for the latest Tennessee vs drag queens score?
I don’t use the automatic headlights feature on my car at night because I have trust issues.
November 23, 2024 at 7:45 AM
I don’t use the automatic headlights feature on my car at night because I have trust issues.
I vow to burn bridges and tell family secrets for attention on every social media platform that gets invented.
November 23, 2024 at 7:44 AM
I vow to burn bridges and tell family secrets for attention on every social media platform that gets invented.
When two friends I didn’t know were acquainted follow each other on social media, I made that happen.
November 23, 2024 at 7:43 AM
When two friends I didn’t know were acquainted follow each other on social media, I made that happen.